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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Actor stopped because of emailer in audience

348 replies

ChangeNameLikeIChangeSocks · 02/01/2024 22:24

I just read about this in the guardian, I'll put a picture of the heading of the article.

He says he "thought" the audience member was sending emails on his laptop. I wonder how he knew that, presumably he couldn't see the screen, and signal in theatres is dreadful. I would take a punt that he was in fact playing minesweeper.

I'm going off topic. The reason I wanted to post this is because it leapt out as me as a parallel to typical behaviour in many of the (Good!) schools I've taught in. Low level disruption. Except it's not one audience (class) member, it's most of them.

So I had to smile wryly to myself that this made the national news.

Either the audience member had very good reason, or this is a natural follow on from the deterioration of respect and good behaviour in schools.

Oh actors, come teach the dear children!

Actor stopped because of emailer in audience
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ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2024 12:30

Someone said it was bollocks that adult poor behaviour is a follow on of child poor behaviour. Where does it come from then?

I'd imagine some adults behaving badly with devices weren't brought up with them. Someone who by nature or nurture is some combination of self-absorbed and inconsiderate will adapt to exhibiting these behaviours with new technologies.

Janiie · 03/01/2024 12:31

AlwaysForksAndMarbles · 03/01/2024 12:29

Please don’t go to the theatre if you think like this.

Oh i go and believe me the talkers and the eaters are far more annoying than an odd screen that is visible if you look for it.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2024 12:32

Janiie · 03/01/2024 12:28

God, he needs to get over himself if he can't concentrate because there is a screen visible. How utterly horrid!

Screens are everywhere, as long as they are silent then so what.

Not ideal granted but I'd rather have someone silently on a screen next to me then those who talk non stop or stuff their faces with crisps rattling the bag and slurping.

The light of screens can be very annoying to other audience members.

As to the slurping and crunching .. two wrongs don't make a right, I'd prefer if nothing (other than cough pastilles if necessary) were allowed to be consumed during performances.

ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2024 12:34

It's people who insist on using their devices in theatres and cinemas despite the explicit requests not to who need to 'get over themselves' . As do the talkers and eaters.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 12:37

forcedfun · 03/01/2024 12:26

If one of my team was on a course I would expect them to arrange for me or someone else in the team to cover their work so they could fully focus on the course

That's great, but in my case my bosses wouldn't do that. They would expect me to still do urgent work and I suspect it's the case for many people.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/01/2024 12:38

ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2024 12:34

It's people who insist on using their devices in theatres and cinemas despite the explicit requests not to who need to 'get over themselves' . As do the talkers and eaters.

Talkers I agree, but cinemas sell food so you can't really blame people for eating that food!

clara778 · 03/01/2024 12:39

i had this happen a few years ago, a child sat in front of me in the theatre with a big iPad on.

I lasted about 30 seconds before I went and had a word with the usher! It was put away instantly. Very distracting, if your child can't pay attention, leave them at home!

Also had someone vaping next to in an open air theatre..again the usher put a stop to it.

People have become so rude.

JamSandle · 03/01/2024 12:40

DonnaBanana · 03/01/2024 12:20

It's not really disruptive if no-one can even tell I'm doing it, is it? It's a whole lot better than taking a nap and snoring which would be my other alternative.

But what about the other alternative...saying you're not interested and not going?

TheLogicalSong · 03/01/2024 12:42

"When I was playing Hamlet, a guy took out his laptop – not his phone, his laptop – while I was in the middle of ‘To be or not to fucking be’,” said the actor"

Why would a phone be OK but not a laptop?

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 12:44

* I* have. And had before I posted.

Why did you ask a question already answered then? 🤔

fedupandstuck · 03/01/2024 12:47

TheLogicalSong · 03/01/2024 12:42

"When I was playing Hamlet, a guy took out his laptop – not his phone, his laptop – while I was in the middle of ‘To be or not to fucking be’,” said the actor"

Why would a phone be OK but not a laptop?

I don't think he's saying a phone would be ok. I think he's indicating the scale of the disruption. Someone reading a text or even relying quickly on a small screen is one less than ideal thing, but someone settling down with a larger, brighter, noisier device is even worse.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 12:49

LifeonMarsnotVenus · 03/01/2024 11:55

@EarringsandLipstick

And for context, I have a university teaching role. Students are often on phones, it probably means they miss some content but it doesn't bother me. The way to minimise it is by making classes interactive so there'll be tasks / engagement required. I'd never call them out directly.

It might not bother you but it’s still inherently selfish behaviour because the person doing it clearly doesn’t give a stuff about the impact they’re having on the other students sat nearby who are trying to focus on the speaker.

As a former HoD in a University, I definitely view it as your job to deal with these types of petty disruptions.

I agree the change in student etiquette is frustrating at times (students leave or come in during lectures, talk, are on devices - less so in mine as they are smaller class-based sessions but it happens & definitely in bigger lectures).

But you haven't read my posts! It is dealt with! By the nature of the sessions, which are interactive & activity-based (mine). For more straightforward lectures (so not typically mine), they are dealt with variously by lecturers as they prefer.

I can 💯 tell you that the days of students sitting in silence listening & note taking are absolutely gone though.

If students are getting up & leaving, that is disruptive & while it's infrequent for me (as I don't usually meet very large lecture groups) I would ask students to either stay or leave to minimise interaction.

Key to all this is clear direct communication not sarcastic performance - which was the context of my reply to another poster (you must have missed this).

Strawberrypicnic · 03/01/2024 12:52

When I visited Luxor they put on an outdoor light show at night around the temple ruins. Obviously the enjoyment and full impact of the show relies on there being total darkness except for the lights themselves. The people in the row in front of us were on their phones throughout! Not even taking pics, just scrolling!! The screen light was sooo distracting and I just thought, why have you bothered being here

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 12:52

@Emotionalsupportviper

Your posts are so full of assumptions, rudely put, that they are hardly worth replying to.

I have said it's nothing to do with 'importance' just the nature of the role; it's fully accepted by the facilitator and attendees, and is absolutely done discreetly & in a courteous way. We are all professionals and know what's appropriate.

I doubt I'm particularly 'young' or 'new blood' (47) but it does sound like you are unfamiliar with training practice at least in current HE environments. And I do always get plenty out of the course, which is usually task & discussion-based.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 12:55

If you were incapacitated would no one really be able to cover for you? Are you truly indispensable?

🙄

Of course if I were incapacitated someone would cover and I'm not indispensable - no-one is.

That's the point - I'm not incapacitated. I'm at work, and able to address certain matters of priority, which I as a professional ascertain, while also being mindful of the acceptable practices of the course - as set out & agreed with the facilitator.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 12:55

Apparently. Because she’s a professional, dontcha know? And she’s definitely not going to let us forget it.

Pretty shitty response @BIossomtoes and unnecessary

HeadNorth · 03/01/2024 12:56

Janiie · 03/01/2024 12:28

God, he needs to get over himself if he can't concentrate because there is a screen visible. How utterly horrid!

Screens are everywhere, as long as they are silent then so what.

Not ideal granted but I'd rather have someone silently on a screen next to me then those who talk non stop or stuff their faces with crisps rattling the bag and slurping.

Or how about everyone at the theatre watches and listens to the perfomance and isn't annoying and noisy. Did your mum never teach you that 2 wrongs don't make a right?

I think people on stage need to realise they are not so important as they like to believe and the world doesn't revolve around them This so ridiculous as to be laughable - of course the actors on stage are the most important people during the performance. Everyone in the audience has paid to see and hear them perform, not your laptop screen or podcast leaking out of your headphones.

Caggers · 03/01/2024 12:58

I’m always amazed at how teachers can make anything about themselves.

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 12:59

ErrolTheDragon · 03/01/2024 12:16

Re training courses - if people are liable to miss part of them for legitimate reasons, then I would hope they're recorded or there are sufficient printed materials so you can catch up? In which case leaving the room and not coming back part way through the session seems like a good idea for minimising disruption to others.

If there are training events where it really doesn't matter if you miss a large chunk then they're probably of questionable value in the first place.

It's not how the ones I attend work.

Usually in person, not recorded. Slides / reading material afterwards. Usually pre-work required & interactive during the event. They are usual people management / leadership / PM type courses. The learning is chiefly in the participation.

Yes if someone missed hours or was continuously in & out that would probably have an impact but again, the individual should be able judge that.

I'm sure it's different depending on the course / content / LOs for other sectors.

Maicon · 03/01/2024 13:00

At the theatre you are there to enjoy the show and nothing more. There is a social contract to not disturb those around you.

Work trainings are there to ensure the quality of future work or compliance. It's at the discretion of those attending to prioritise current work during those trainings if they need to. Each industry is very different and lots of have time sensitive decisions or fires that need dealing with. The trainer needs to understand the industry well enough to flex around it or they shouldn't be training in that industry!

EarringsandLipstick · 03/01/2024 13:00

students on phones, many occasions I had students watching a football match.

students on laptops provided by school, but off task, and generally browsing the Internet. Very hard to police because if you walk close to see their screen, they flick back to the work.

My DC school come down v hard on this. Device removed. Sanction as appropriate. It seems to work ok but it's a good school with lots of support from the parents, I'm sure it is harder if that back up isn't there.

Carouselfish · 03/01/2024 13:05

I was once told off for making notes on a jazz performance, very discreetly, with tiny pad and pen. It was for a magazine review. I was sitting at a table in a very crowded club where everyone was talking and dancing. But yes, in general, bad form!!! Especially if glowing light from phone or laptop!!

HobbitLass · 03/01/2024 13:11

DonnaBanana · 03/01/2024 12:20

It's not really disruptive if no-one can even tell I'm doing it, is it? It's a whole lot better than taking a nap and snoring which would be my other alternative.

You’re kidding yourself if you think people can’t hear the sound leaking from your headphones.

The alternative to this rude behaviour isn’t a different form of rude behaviour - it’s not attending public events you’re not interested if you’re so absolutely unable to tolerate boredom that you have to behave like an arsehole when you experience it.

HobbitLass · 03/01/2024 13:13

Janiie · 03/01/2024 12:28

God, he needs to get over himself if he can't concentrate because there is a screen visible. How utterly horrid!

Screens are everywhere, as long as they are silent then so what.

Not ideal granted but I'd rather have someone silently on a screen next to me then those who talk non stop or stuff their faces with crisps rattling the bag and slurping.

If you genuinely think this way you owe it to the public not to go to public events. Stay at home where you can dual-screen to your heart’s content without being a menace.

Desolatewardrobe · 03/01/2024 13:14

fedupandstuck · 03/01/2024 12:47

I don't think he's saying a phone would be ok. I think he's indicating the scale of the disruption. Someone reading a text or even relying quickly on a small screen is one less than ideal thing, but someone settling down with a larger, brighter, noisier device is even worse.

I read that as ‘not EVEN his phone, his laptop’. A phone being bad enough but a laptop worse.

I would be driven insane by someone getting a laptop out in the theatre. The light alone would be massively distracting, let alone whatever they were doing on it. And I would also be so fucking irritated that they were breaking the atmosphere of everyone being in the same world of whatever I was watching, if that makes sense.