To think this is not a 4 year old's fault? (Shoe size)

[ShoePalaver]

Went to the shoe shop a few weeks ago with my husband and children aged 2 and 4. They each had their feet measured, had grown by half a size since last time, selected a pair of shoes each from ones brought to us by the assistant, the fit was checked by the shop assistant, we paid for the shoes and went on our way.

Now my older child is saying her shoes are too small, I've checked the receipt and the shoes and they are 7.5 instead of 8.5 that we were told in the shop, so a whole size smaller. That is pretty annoying as what's the point of having the shop check the fit - it's a farce clearly, although obviously mistakes can be made. We probably should have checked the size ourselves although assumed the fact they the assistant said they fitted meant they were the right size! Won't bother having shoes fitted again that's for sure.

Anyway coming to my aibu now. I told my husband about this saying I would return to shop and complain, and the first thing he did was go and tell off my 4 year for not saying that the shoes were too small when we were in the shop. I intervened saying it's hardly her fault, it could be our fault or the shop's but not a 4 year old's. He responded saying well she's got to learn somehow and stomped off to the shed and is now in a mood with me for interfering in his parenting. Wondering if I am going mad now.

Yabu - 4 year old child should say if shoes don't fit even though shop lady says they are fine

Yanbu - shop and parents take responsibility for checking correct size of shoes for 4 year-old child

If he can't keep a 2 yr old safe near a road and thinks it's the child's fault straight up leave him. What's the point fo him exactly if he thinks a 2 yr old should just supervise themselves

Er what? The point of having shoes fitted by a trained shop assistant is surely to avoid relying on a child to know ? Not sure what your point is

She is clearly talking about the shop assistant not the child.

Are you sure the shoes she tried on in the shop were even the same shoes? As in was there a mix up somewhere cos a whole size wrong is a really bad error! Definitely go back to the shop.
Your husband is being unreasonable she’s 4. I have a 4 year old and they don’t give you clear answers to sometimes basic questions! Absolutely not her fault.

The Clarks shop locally to my DD closed. So now we just get the DGC to stand on piece of paper, draw carefully around feet. Measure length and width of foot.

Go online and look up sizes of various brands of children's shoes. Go to shop and try on said shoes in size indicated. Feel around the toe area yourself etc to check fit. Get child to walk up and down in shoes to check they don't slip up and down at the heel. Job done. You can also buy a children's shoe size guide similar to those used in Clarks from Amazon if you prefer.

(Yes OP your DH is an idiot).

There is only 1cm difference between sizes, so I can see why she didn't notice. Clarks has changed their policy over the years. When I was a child, it used to be that if you grew within 3 months, they'd replace them. I got free shoes for about 2 years under that scheme because I kept having growth spurts.

Then in COVID, they did a 6 month guarantee thing, but revoked it when stores were forced to close.

Now I don't think they do any guarantee.

🎯
She’s 4. 4! A four year old can’t be expected to be responsible for anything.

Him stomping off to the shed is laughable. Any chance you could lock him in there for the night?

Is he normally this unpleasant to you and the children?

It's one thing to have a gentle word and say you know it's tricky but please do say in future if she notices they feel tight (whilst acknowledging it is the adults' ultimate responsibility) vs telling her off.

Yes because she's a girl, her mind must be on her dollies 🤯🤦🏼‍♀️

YANBU but not sure they will refund etc think it's on you to have checked

It’s pretty bad that neither of you noticed for a few weeks. Don’t they make you take the box these days. It would have had the size on it. If it is wrong Clark’s may do an exchange.

You cannot blame a child for an adult’s negligence whether it is shoes or road safety.

I always order Startrite. You can download a paper fitting guide (you draw around foot to get an accurate fitting). Once you’ve done it the first time, you just order half size up each time? I get so fed up of going into store and the style/size I need being out of stock. I’d take them back and see if they will do anything for you. Probably not, but at least make your voice heard!

I'm an arse! I totally misunderstood and thought you meant why bother getting them measured if a child can't tell. Sorry

I've given up on physical shoe shops. I use Happy Little Soles instead. You can buy a special measurer from them for a few pounds, and they give amazing advice on which shoes might suit your child over the phone. Free returns too. Much less stressful for me and my kid as I order a few different sizes and styles based on their advice, we can try them out in the comfort of our home and then just send back what we don't want.

Your husband sounds like a horrid man. Why is everything yours and the children's fault. Why can't he teach your two year old about road safety? She is 2! Is he not responsible for her safety while she is so young? What a prize knob! Stop entertaining his delusions.

Tell him my 14 year old still can't tell if a shoe is a good fit 😂. Your DH is being ridiculous, of course a four year old can't judge shoe sizes.

4yo can't tell this, it's unusual they didn't sense check the size with you at the till, I've had an issue before where the box from the back ended up being the wrong size but it was picked up at the till when they double check what's in the box

Firstly if it wad Clarks they are notoriously shite around my area for not measuring or fitting correctly.

Secondly is your husband always such an abusive arsehole??

I always measured feet myself and checked the charts. I had a fussy child so I couldn't rely on them being fitted. I needed to size up on anything that wasn't foot shaped as he couldn't tolerate his toes being squashed by a narrow toe box.

Clarks were never great at fitting when ds(19) was young and I always double checked how much toe, heel, width room there was in the shoe and questioned if it didn't feel right.

At point of sale they usually check the size on the box, size of both shoes, and check with you verbally before initialling the inside of the box to prove they checked/asked. Did they do this?

Several weeks later if she has been wearing them outdoors it is going to be your word against theirs if the shoes, box (if you still have it) and receipt are aligned. I wouldn't try for a refund, but would take more responsibility to ensure you check they are the right shoes for her in the future while in the shop and then check again as soon as you are home before wearing out.

Ds is older now but Independent shops used to be much better, and better quality longer lasting shoes - start right, geox etc. The staff rarely used/didn't depend on measure guides as they had different brands/styles which all fitted differently, but would happily explain to you and show you how they were fitting/checking them.

Yes, they kept them on until we got home.

7.5 would be an unusually small size for a four year old. Could that work in your favor, that the size seems wrong for a child that age?

The fitter did a very bad job if the child measured 8.5 and they didn't notice that a shoe was a full size too small.

Weird since they were fitted. Shop assistant always showed me how many fingers gap were on the toe, often asking dc to flex toe up. Tbh I gave up during lockdown. We now own a foot measurer and I fit them myself as found m&s school shoes last longer than clarks.

I would take them back if you have receipt and show they clearly don't fit your dc.

Frankly I would be more worried about the road incident. If he really is that incapable of grasping what a 2 year old can and can't do/understand then he it is not safe to leave the children in his care.

Your husband is being a total dick

He can’t be trusted to parent his toddler and lashes out at a 4 year old for something that don’t her fault. You need to have a word because he doesn’t have a clue