To be annoyed with health visitor

[WaitingForM]

I had just got baby down for a nap. She's difficult to get to sleep at the moment so was feeling very pleased that she'd gone down for her second one today. I also hadn't eaten anything yet and was looking forward to making and eating lunch in peace.

Five minutes later, health visitor calls and wakes her up. I know they're just doing their job and trying to keep in contact but it felt so frustrating that they just made my day harder. Baby is now fully awake and not settling and I still haven't eaten anything.

The health visitor had even messaged me earlier to ask when a good time to call would be. I hadn't responded as I had a meeting but assumed she wouldn't call until I'd responded.

AIBU to feel upset and annoyed that what is supposed to be an organisation that helps has just made it harder.

Have you had help to deal with your anxiety?

Wait, did she call into your home or phone you? If a phone call you're especially unreasonable. Just put your phone on silent!

HV would only be concerned about your high level of anxiety regarding a perfectly regular check on Mum and baby. What led you to believe a HV would be looking at your window frames? And what led you to think having dusty window frames leads to a SS referral?

Surely every woman who has a newborn baby is tired.

Oh no poor you and that baby. Have a straight forward conversation with the health visitor regarding calls and visits and keep the phone on silent whenever the baby naps . They usually log down everything. Mine even remembered that I had ordered a new couch!

yabu. anyone could call- unplug/ silence the phone while baby is napping.

Yabu

Maybe you do need to see your HV if this is your reaction to someone calling you!!! Total and utter overreaction.

This exact thing has happened to me before. I know it’s very annoying but I don’t think it’s really fair to blame the health visitor. She was just doing her job and couldn’t have known the baby was sleeping. I don’t blame you for being annoyed though, I was as well, but there’s not really anyone to blame.

YABU because she messaged to ask for a convenient time and you didn’t reply. She likely took that to mean there were no particularly convenient or inconvenient times. Next time just reply with the time you want her to avoid. Also bear in mind she isn’t a mind reader, she wasn’t to know your baby would be asleep or that your phone would ring loudly enough to wake her up. I would have adjusted the ringer volume on the phone if I had a baby sleeping, you could have just as easily has a call from someone else.

This one's entirely on you I'm afraid. And it makes me sad to see the health visitor bashing...mine has been a god send through some dire times so definitely feel the need to stick up for them. You'll appreciate her if you ever truly need her and let's hope that you don't.

She’s doing her job! You’d be on here moaning if you never heard from them! You should responded to her text
telling her when it wasn’t a good time not just ignored her or just switch your phone onto silent/do not disturb if you don’t want people ringing you whilst the kid is napping.

🤣🤣

Being mad at the health visitor is unreasonable. Silence your phone when baby is asleep.

A phone call, that's totally ridiculous, put your phone on silent 🤦‍♀️

I feel exactly the opposite. For your own sanity, keep naps in a cot or pram, not hanging off you.

Sorry OP, that's so frustrating!
Its really hard to manage a Caseload as a HV - she will have meant no inconvenience to you.
YNBU to he frustrated and annoyed about a disturbed nap and missing out on a bit of down time - but you would be unreasonable to do anything about it like make a complaint. Next time she messages just message back with a suitable time to avoid an unplanned call.
A hungry tired mum being robbed of a peaceful lunch is the pits.
I hope the LO sleeps well for you tonight and you get some well earned down time.

This!! I hate the bad reputation they get just because there may be some that aren't too helpful or giving dated advice.
People have no idea of the bigger picture and what their role involves, a visit from the HV could alert any welfare issues to children's services which may otherwise never be picked up on.
If people don't want their services they only need to opt out.
Mine has been amazing, always at the end of the phone if I have questions.

Correct, so what's the problem with her noting it?

I get your frustration but this was totally avoidable. You could easily have taken 30 seconds to reply to her message asking about a convenient time to call you.

I really don't get why you didn't do that.

Sod’s Law. When you silence your phone and turn off your doorbell someone will beep outside or you will drop something.

It’s awful when they don’t sleep and you haven’t eaten, the littlest thing pushes us over the edge. (BUT it isn’t the hv fault, you know that really).

Ignore the twats. Look after yourself.

Very harsh. No one is asking anyone to accommodate anyone.

Because the noting of it implies it's note worthy or that I am somehow unusual.

You're totally BU.

Your phone rang.

My HV didn't do a telepathy service either.

But I'm pretty sure you know that. You're hangry, probably tired and all the rest.

🥪☕️