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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Weird humour or am I overthinking it?

68 replies

IcebergToes · 02/01/2024 13:02

I've recently made friends with two men, A and B. I met A through mutual friends and then A introduced me to B. We all got on really well, sometimes I would hang out with A and sometimes with both A and B. We don't know each other that well, so most of our time is spent on superficial subjects and making each other laugh. We're all pretty busy so we only meet up maybe once a week and we WhatsApp every 2 or 3 days, not as a group chat, that's just how often I talk to them. I imagine they talk and meet up with each other more often as they have been friends for much longer.

Just before Christmas I was invited out with them and another mutual friend but I couldn't make it. I did text A that evening to ask how things were going and if they had found a good pub. Just three short messages. A few hours later, I get a voice message from A's phone (but B's voice) replying to my messages saying "It's none of your business" and I could hear the other two laughing in the background. Then a text saying "Whose voice is that?". I thought it was a bit odd and I felt a bit stupid, so I didn't reply.

The next day B text saying "you're not upset about my message, are you? 🙄" I replied that it was a bit weird, but don't worry about it. He then replied "sorry about that 🙄". The conversaton ended and a few days later everything continued as normal. I figured that he probably just wanted to say something to me that evening but didn't really know what to say, so ended up saying something that wasn't actually funny.

A few days later, we were chatting on WhatsApp and he told me he had been doing a masters, I asked what in and he told me. I said I'd never heard of that and he replied "duh, everyone's heard of it". I assumed that was just his humour (because it was clearly a niche subject) and I continued chatting about other things.

Yesterday, I asked over WhatsApp about his masters and he was confused and asked who had told me that he had been doing postgraduate studies. I said that it was him who told me. He laughed and said he wasn't doing a masters and was probably drunk when he said it. I said that if I ever ask anything that's remotely serious, he deflects and talks nonsense but I can't tell when he's joking or telling the truth. After that he said he was drinking, didn't want to end up talking nonsense and so will talk to me another time.

I feel like I've offended him, but equally his jokes are weird and I don't know what to do with them.

OP posts:
JMSA · 02/01/2024 13:05

I don't like people like that. You never know where you stand with them.

McMuffins · 02/01/2024 13:06

Weird I agree. I can’t really make sense of it either tbh.

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 02/01/2024 13:06

He sounds like he has a drink problem
He also sounds like a bit of a twat

I wouldn't worry and I'd cool. It off with B from now on.

SaucepanRattle · 02/01/2024 13:08

Friends who always turn the joke onto you are no friends at all. Who constantly wants to be the butt of their jokes? He's making fun of you but it's not funny for you. I'd cool the friendship. In all honesty he sounds like an idiot saying 'dur' about a masters he isn't even doing. What a prick.

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:08

You’re ND aren’t you

SpursFan2 · 02/01/2024 13:08

Just from reading what you’ve posted here, it sounds like B can be a bit socially awkward and perhaps that he finds it difficult to make small talk/conversation. I can see why you’ve been confused and a bit put out by his messages, as the way he’s communicated with you hasn’t made things easy.

Do you enjoy spending time with B and A? If you enjoy spending time with them, perhaps focus on spending time with them and doing things you all enjoy together rather than text messages, as it sounds like he can lack a bit of tact over text (added to the fact that it can be difficult to work out how to interpret things over text/in writing).

MadeOfAllWork · 02/01/2024 13:10

This can be the problem with texting, it’s hard to get the tone of voice.

Muchof · 02/01/2024 13:10

I think that he doesn’t like you, I would step away from this friendship. It all sounds a bit odd.

Hipnotised · 02/01/2024 13:11

Huge red flags here op.

Ditch these so called friends, they're not good news.

CherryBlossom321 · 02/01/2024 13:11

He sounds very weird. I’d be creating distance personally.

IcebergToes · 02/01/2024 13:12

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:08

You’re ND aren’t you

No, what made you say that?

OP posts:
HoldMeCloserTonyDancer · 02/01/2024 13:13

You sound like a bunch of 8 year olds.

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:14

@IcebergToes your entire post is very odd It’s also quite clear this man is joking.

Christ alive

GreyCarpet · 02/01/2024 13:14

You're worried you've offended an arsehole?

Why?!

AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 02/01/2024 13:14

Sounds a bit gas lighty and also that they're taking the piss out of you. I'd give them a swerve.

Thementalloadisreal · 02/01/2024 13:14

They sound like bellends. Are they teenagers? I can’t imagine adults behaving like that, unless they’re bellends.

MotherofChaosandDestruction · 02/01/2024 13:17

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:08

You’re ND aren’t you

Why would you get that from the OP? Her friend has a weird sense of humor and I would be confused about that too and I'm NT.

OP he sounds seriously dull and immature. I'd cool the friendship to be honest.

WhateverMate · 02/01/2024 13:18

Yesterday, I asked over WhatsApp about his masters and he was confused and asked who had told me that he had been doing postgraduate studies. I said that it was him who told me. He laughed and said he wasn't doing a masters and was probably drunk when he said it.

More likely the other guy had his phone and he sent the message about having a Master's.

IcebergToes · 02/01/2024 13:18

MadeOfAllWork · 02/01/2024 13:10

This can be the problem with texting, it’s hard to get the tone of voice.

Yes, I'm hoping this is the problem. That it's a miscommunication because of text. He's not like this in person.

OP posts:
DappledThings · 02/01/2024 13:21

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:14

@IcebergToes your entire post is very odd It’s also quite clear this man is joking.

Christ alive

Is it? I'm NT and I don't get what the jokes are the man is making. The voicenote stuff is weird. Saying he's doing a master's and then saying he's not. That's the odd bit, not OP's post.

They sound tedious OP. I'd be distancing myself. Couldn't be arsed with it.

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:22

@MotherofChaosandDestruction the only dull ones here are those who have seriously never responded something similar when a friend bails on a night out.

Gransnet is calling

blackpanth · 02/01/2024 13:22

He sounds like an arse

IcebergToes · 02/01/2024 13:23

@Planeflames I'm not doubting that he's joking. I can clearly see it's a joke. My question is about the weirdness of it. Who 'jokes' about doing a masters? How is that funny?

OP posts:
Muchof · 02/01/2024 13:23

IcebergToes · 02/01/2024 13:18

Yes, I'm hoping this is the problem. That it's a miscommunication because of text. He's not like this in person.

Whilst I agree that tone can be lost in messaging and emails, it seems very clear to me that these people are not your friends. They seem to be mocking you. Walk away.

Planeflames · 02/01/2024 13:23

@IcebergToes was that masters comment a joke or was he drunk and just bullshat

im betting the latter