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AIBU?

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Original poster

Visitors & house share

35 replies

Wheelymeals · 02/01/2024 11:26

An elderly lady has a son (in his 40s) who lives some distance away. She wanted to visit him where he lives.

The son apparently lives in a houseshare with 3-4 other gentlemen. I understand that he has an ensuite room and a shared living room and kitchen. The landlord does not live with them.

The son told his mother that his contract stipulates that he is not allowed any visitors at any time.

Is this even legal?

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 02/01/2024 11:56

I don't see why it wouldn't be legal? Rental contracts, especially in shared houses, can come with all sorts of conditions, for all sorts of reasons. It might not be about the landlord, but about the other tenants.

I'm not really sure what the man's elderly mother would get from sitting in a shared space with him and his other housemates anyway, to be honest. Makes much more sense for him to visit her.

HappyHamsters · 02/01/2024 11:59

Maybe it's an excuse as he doesn't want his mum to visit

purplecorkheart · 02/01/2024 12:00

It does not sound like a suitable setting for the mother to visit. He is renting a room in house there easily could be an term in the contract saying that there are no guests. If his mother wants to visit then she should stay in a hotel/bed and breakfast etc. Where does she suggest he sleeps when she visits? On the sofa which would be unfair on the other housemates.

Ohmylovejune · 02/01/2024 12:02

They aren't saying he can't see his mother! They are saying she can't visit him in the house and it makes sense when you think about it. If they all did it, it would be chaos for conversation and places to sit!

When my DS was a lodger with the owner and one other in the house it was pretty much full if everyone was at home. We would stay in a hotel locally and meet him there as we could get food, drinks and sit and chat. We did go to the house to "look where it was", so to speak, and when he viewed the place we went with him and met the owner and looked around. But, we never went in other than that.

Chamomileteaplease · 02/01/2024 12:03

Yes I would think that the man is saying it's not allowed because that is easier than having his mother to stay in his own bedroom!!

ReindeerShelter · 02/01/2024 12:04

Of course it’s legal. Why wouldn’t it be? Confused

JingleSnowmanTree · 02/01/2024 12:07

Why can't he come to you?

Different house shares have different rules, but they're generally not suitably set up for having parents to stay.

why do you feel the need to stay in his house share??

LucyInTheParkWithDragons · 02/01/2024 12:10

My bet is that he’s said it’s ’against the rules’, but by rules he means ones the housemates have agreed, not a contract.

HamstersAreMyLife · 02/01/2024 12:11

Quite normal. I've stayed in similar in the past but often we did as a house agree to allow guests in, we were young though, I suspect wouldn't happen in a professional sharer situation. My tenants have a big social kitchen and huge lounge so we do allow guests but tbh it's always that which causes any issues we have. Anyway, in short nothing illegal about that term in a tenancy agreement and common in HMOs.

justalittlesnoel · 02/01/2024 12:12

I think in a shared house it is something that's in contracts, but not in a solely occupied rental? Isn't it something to do with number of people in the house?

I remember in my student letting days (shared houses) it said no guests overnight. Think this was for occupancy / to stop subletting etc. Or just a very controlling landlord 😂

tescocreditcard · 02/01/2024 12:12

He doesn't want her there but it sounds really unsuitable anyway. Can she stay on a local hotel instead?

DwightDFlysenhower · 02/01/2024 12:15

I've heard of no overnight guests, but not being able to have somebody in for a cup of coffee or to collect a book or something seems very over the top!

HauntyHoose · 02/01/2024 12:22

Plenty of house shares say no overnight guests.

roarrfeckingroar · 02/01/2024 13:28

Absolutely legal and not that uncommon. Must be pretty awful living somewhere so restrictive.

Original poster
Wheelymeals · 02/01/2024 18:54

Thank you all for commenting. The elderly lady is a neighbour. She is quite lonely and not very well. I try to help when I can.

Her son was working over Christmas and could not come visit her. So, she suggested that she visited him instead. He said he was not allowed visitors. It was not her staying overnight, just her visiting him where he lives.

I have not been in a house share in a very long time, and I thought it was not even legal to have this clause in a contract.

OP posts:
Serencwtch · 02/01/2024 18:57

I've had several house shares including in council HMO. They have all stated 'no overnight guests' in the contracts so definitely legal & very common

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/01/2024 18:58

All fine and dandy until every tenant wants visitors on the same day.
Awkward for other residents. If she’s not very well, can’t imagine that she’d want to travel/visit/spend the day with a group of strangers anyway.

WickDittington · 02/01/2024 19:27

I should think there are specific rules about visitors in a shared house, because otherwise girlfriends or boyfriends could be settled in with no agreement or discussion with other residents. It’s their house, too.

I’m sure his mother can find a nearby guesthouse, hotel, or B&B.

DwightDFlysenhower · 02/01/2024 23:56

I completely understand the no overnight guests rules, but I still think a "no visitors at all" rule is bonkers. It's not a normal way to live.

What do you do if you've forgotten your purse, or want to bob back in for a coat or a quick wee, leave your friend on the doorstep?

Ohmylovejune · 03/01/2024 03:12

You have to imagine what it would be like if they all did it. And people always seem to push boundaries.

It's unlikely they'd be all that bothered about one elderly Mum for coffee, unless they use the lounge for wfh, but if the rule didn't exist it would allow for friends to be there all day and some would push that to the max. So, like many of lifes rules, poor Mum misses out as a result.

Personally I'd probably have asked the others if they minded and gave the reasons. Chances are a couple wouldn't be there anyway at Christmas. Or he should travel back to see her.

PBandJ111 · 03/01/2024 06:37

The son is lying. It would be crazy to not permit visitors.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 03/01/2024 07:00

It is legal. The issue is with houseshares, occasionally a person moves in then they will try and move their partner in by stealth for no extra money. It starts with one night per week, then 2 etc. This puts a strain on the resources and space in the house. Easier to ban it altogether.

determinedtomakethiswork · 03/01/2024 07:05

I think this is just his excuse, and whatever reason he doesn't want her to see where he lives. I'm sure if he or one of the housemates met someone they would have her back there as quick as anything.

Housewife2010 · 03/01/2024 07:06

All these constant comments re overnight guests! The OP has said the mother doesn't want to stay overnight. The issue is with her visiting during the day. To me, it does seem restrictive if a tenant cannot have a daytime visitor.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 03/01/2024 07:42

Housewife2010 · 03/01/2024 07:06

All these constant comments re overnight guests! The OP has said the mother doesn't want to stay overnight. The issue is with her visiting during the day. To me, it does seem restrictive if a tenant cannot have a daytime visitor.

I agree. The houseshares i have been in all said no overnight guests which seems fair enough, none of them have said no visitors at all - that seems very extreme.