Visitors & house share

[Wheelymeals]

An elderly lady has a son (in his 40s) who lives some distance away. She wanted to visit him where he lives.

The son apparently lives in a houseshare with 3-4 other gentlemen. I understand that he has an ensuite room and a shared living room and kitchen. The landlord does not live with them.

The son told his mother that his contract stipulates that he is not allowed any visitors at any time.

Is this even legal?

Maybe there is nowhere for day visitors to go other than the person's room or the kitchen.

I totally get the no overnight guests rule. I find it extreme that someone is not allowed day visitors. I think that the son made up this rule so as not to have mum over, which is very sad.

It’s really awkward when someone in a house share has a parent round- it effectively means nobody else can use the living room while they’re there. I don’t think it’s unreasonable of them if they’ve agreed that they all take guests out, rather than disrupt everyone else’s day.

Maybe the environment just isn't suitable for his elderly mother. Some shared houses, can be pretty grim. Perhaps he just doesn't want her to see it.

I think that the son made up this rule so as not to have mum over, which is very sad.

Well, you don’t know that. I’d stay out of it and if she asks your opinion, suggest again that he comes to her or they meet half way at a cafe.

Unless the son has form for not treating his mother well I would assume he's embarrassed by the state of the house or one/some of his housemates are the sort of person he wouldn't want his mum to have to be around.

There may be a no visitors rule. Or he may have good reason for not wanting her to come in - some of the residents are arseholes - his room is tiny with nowhere to sit but the bed - he doesn't want her realising he lives in a tiny cramped HMO as it would upset her - the house is minging and awful but its all he can afford and he doesn't want to upset her.

Leave well alone, do NOT tell her he is lying to her as even if he is, it might be for good reason!

I didn't say anything to her as it's not my place to say anything anyway. She just said she was on her own for Christmas as Son had to work and he told her he is not allowed visitors at his house share.

If he had to work then he wouldn't have seen her anyway so the visiting rule is not relevant unless she planned to stay. Maybe he visited her during the hols, did you see her at all for a drink.

I don’t see why it wouldn’t be legal and in the case of a HMO I think it actually makes sense. It could be very awkward and uncomfortable for some people having random guests coming and going. A blanket “no guests” solves the problem.