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AIBU?

Is it normal to worry so much about teens??

41 replies

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:07

Lying in bed currently waiting for my 17 year old to get a taxi home from her boyfriend's. I can't sleep until she's home. My alarm is set for 5.45am for work but I genuinely cannot switch off and relax til she's through the door. Is this a normal level of worry or excessive? 🙁

OP posts:
SecondUsername4me · 01/01/2024 22:08

Is it the taxi element that worries you?

Ragwort · 01/01/2024 22:08

Normal ..

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:09

SecondUsername4me · 01/01/2024 22:08

Is it the taxi element that worries you?

Not specifically, no. Just the not knowing her whereabouts and whether she's safe til she's through that door.

OP posts:
Scotsgirl001 · 01/01/2024 22:10

Normal. I don’t think you ever stop worrying about them whatever their age.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 01/01/2024 22:10

That sounds a bit extreme. My only-just-18 year-old started university in September. You learn not to worry so much when they're away at uni, as you realise you have no idea what they're doing and there's nothing you can do about it!

StarlightLime · 01/01/2024 22:10

Very normal.

Madameprof · 01/01/2024 22:11

Sounds normal to me.

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:11

Phew, at least I'm normal then. Was starting to think I need help for this level of anxiety 😢

OP posts:
TeaAndBrie · 01/01/2024 22:12

My DD is 17. The worry I have felt for her over the last 6 months has really ramped up. I think it’s because we have to internalise it so much at this age and act chilled to let them be independent. We still feel responsible though inside!

JaceLancs · 01/01/2024 22:12

Very normal - I stopped when they either left home or got to mid 20s

MollyPuddingBowl · 01/01/2024 22:12

I would say this is a normal thing OP. No doubt she'll be home safe soon and you can sleep soundly 🤗

familyissues12345 · 01/01/2024 22:12

I think it's natural to worry about your children. My brother in law and his wife have children similar age to my eldest, and they are both absolutely paranoid about them, which can't be healthy

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:13

TeaAndBrie · 01/01/2024 22:12

My DD is 17. The worry I have felt for her over the last 6 months has really ramped up. I think it’s because we have to internalise it so much at this age and act chilled to let them be independent. We still feel responsible though inside!

Edited

Yes! I can relate so much to this. I'm having to step back obviously and allow her the independence she needs but knowing she doesn't fully understand the world yet and she's going to make some mistakes and questionable decisions... So I need to stay close enough to mop that up for her and keep her safe, but I have to let her go a bit too. It's so hard. The worst phase of parenting yet for me, by a mile! 😢

OP posts:
Crooklodge · 01/01/2024 22:14

Christ my mums 61 and still can't sleep without my dad, he's done nightshifts for the last 10 years too. She certainly didn't stay up for us as teens.

My oldest two are 15 and 13, can quite imagine I'll be stalking life360 every two mins to check on them when they're going out out.

Ragwort · 01/01/2024 22:14

AllProper .. I agree
it's perfectly logical that when they are away at Uni you don't know if they are back in their accommodation or not but when at home you are much more conscious about when they come in at night .. my DS has left Uni & is the other side of the world but he still 'checks in' most days ... not sure what I could realistically do if I didn't hear from him ..

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:16

MollyPuddingBowl · 01/01/2024 22:12

I would say this is a normal thing OP. No doubt she'll be home safe soon and you can sleep soundly 🤗

I've just had a text that she's in the taxi, she's only 15 ish mins away so should be back soon!

OP posts:
eduwot · 01/01/2024 22:16

I don't know if it is, but I am exactly the same about my 18 Yr old when he's here.

TeaAndBrie · 01/01/2024 22:21

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:13

Yes! I can relate so much to this. I'm having to step back obviously and allow her the independence she needs but knowing she doesn't fully understand the world yet and she's going to make some mistakes and questionable decisions... So I need to stay close enough to mop that up for her and keep her safe, but I have to let her go a bit too. It's so hard. The worst phase of parenting yet for me, by a mile! 😢

I’m definitely the same, I think I thought that if we get them passed GCSEs in the summer then life will be calmer but I was seriously wrong!
this age is tough, new friendships, relationships, jobs, money, uni decisions etc
I find it so tricky at times to not give advice unless it’s asked for, and even then if it’s the wrong advice she despairs as if I know nothing about the world.

paisley256 · 01/01/2024 22:21

Totally normal. I didn't realise there would be this level of worry when I had them! Hope she's walking through the door any minute, I'm waiting on mine too.

problemdb · 01/01/2024 22:22

Normal.
fortunately for me ds is now skint for a month.

Violetparis · 01/01/2024 22:23

Agree with so much that has been said on this thread, it's comforting to know other Mums are the same. Late teens has been the hardest part of parenting for me too, knowing you have to let them have more independence so they can grow into well rounded adults but oh the worry !

Fleetheart · 01/01/2024 22:25

it’s v normal; especially for the girls .

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:25

Violetparis · 01/01/2024 22:23

Agree with so much that has been said on this thread, it's comforting to know other Mums are the same. Late teens has been the hardest part of parenting for me too, knowing you have to let them have more independence so they can grow into well rounded adults but oh the worry !

Absolutely this! 😢😢

OP posts:
TeaAndBrie · 01/01/2024 22:26

Violetparis · 01/01/2024 22:23

Agree with so much that has been said on this thread, it's comforting to know other Mums are the same. Late teens has been the hardest part of parenting for me too, knowing you have to let them have more independence so they can grow into well rounded adults but oh the worry !

It definitely feels like an un-talked about age and an unexpected level of worry for parents.
its not my thread but it’s already made me feel more normal!

tiredmama23 · 01/01/2024 22:26

@TeaAndBrie

I'm glad it's helped you too ☺️ x

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