Is it normal to worry so much about teens??

[tiredmama23]

Lying in bed currently waiting for my 17 year old to get a taxi home from her boyfriend's. I can't sleep until she's home. My alarm is set for 5.45am for work but I genuinely cannot switch off and relax til she's through the door. Is this a normal level of worry or excessive? 🙁

She's home 🥳💜

Looking back, the nights I paced the floor, looking out of the window every time I heard a car. No mobile phones then, so I had no idea where they were.

Oh god of course! I didn't even think of the pre mobile phone days! I think the anxiety would finish me off tbh 🙈😭

Once my 18/19-year-old was off travelling and then at university, I had to stop being anxious all the time. The first month or two of travelling was awful, I was very anxious and did keep them on a 360 locator, but after a couple of months, I couldn't live worrying all the time so I did calm down. Now she's at university and I don't worry for a week at a time!

I think when they are staying at home,you tend to want to know where they are, and what time they will be back, but now I could go to bed with the key in the safe place and get off to sleep. I prefer to know but I accept that they are independent and go out when I'm not around.

It took us a while to get the communication right as well as once they are out and if they are having a late night, they don't want to be contacting mum all the time, so we pre-arrange stuff, have a key safe, to make it easier. One of mine was terrible at 15 as part of a rebellious phase, but is much better now.

It is hard!

DS1 is 23 now but I worried terribly when he was out. I think with him it was because he was a selfish little tosser. He never answered his phone and was always out after curfew! Also his mates were a bunch of knobs! He’s much nicer now 😀
I worry slightly less about DS2 who’s 16 because he gives a shit about my feelings. He keeps in touch while he’s out and is very rarely late home. If he’s going to be late he lets me know. His mates are more sensible (not knobs)
He’s just applied to join the army so I think my worry free days may be over soon 😭

Can you not friend then on Snapchat and have them on snapmaps? Or Life360.

My DS18 and DD19 are often out clubbing and not home until 3-4am. I can't be waiting that long. But I do feel reassured being able to see on a map where they are at any given time.

Glad she's back 😊my ds is too. Him and his mates always travel with the girls on the tube or bus to their nearest stop so they aren't travelling alone, which I'm proud of him for doing but I'm often a nervous wreck especially this time of year when it gets dark early, I'm not half as nervous in the summer.

My mother was incredibly strict so I often lied to her in order to do anything in the evening. I really didn't want to have this kind of relationship with my own dc but it's hard to allow them the freedom they need to grow and learn how to get around safely and independently.

Absolutely normal, my DD (18) is lovely and got the app "life360" that allow me to see (track 🫣) her on my phone, it allow me to gradually calm down, almost doesn't look where she is now and she doesn't feel smothered.

@tiredmama23 very normal
My dd 18 I set an alarm for 2.45 incase I drift off so I know she is back from disco. If she staying at her bfs she will text me to say she's back. I also have life360 which she agrees to as she also likes to see where I am

Dd20 at uni I don't worry as much and Don't have life360 with her as she in UK and I'm in Ireland so would be too worrying if it wasn't accurate.
Mums always worry

Yeah that's an excellent app and has allowed me to calm down alot.

So refreshing to see this thread; it is entirely normal and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Also great to see others have these map apps (I am an old technophobe but somehow I have one on my phone). Although last night the one I use showed DD23 in a lake (she was actually in the pub next to the lake but gives you palpitations!!)

I once posted on here that I always worried about DD (then 18) getting home from uni and was told I was manipulative and abusive. When I told DD she said she always felt good about having someone checking she was safe. Anyway glad she's home OP.

Very normal! It’s crap!

Normal.

I worry much more about my older boy when he's staying at home than when he's away at uni.

When he's staying here I'm aware if he's very late home, which makes me quite anxious, but whilst at university I've no idea if he's in his own home or out with friends.

My daughter is 17 and I don't worry about her so much as she's good at phoning and letting me know where she is.

I do tend to go out and pick them up as it's a nightmare to get a cab here.

I need to chill out but struggle!

Perfectly normal.

we have a 20 and 21 yr old. Youngest works until 3am some mornings and there are times when both are out in town with friends.

i didn’t used to go to bed until they were home but now I go, I dose but don’t actually go into a deep sleep, most times they both text when leaving work or getting into a taxi so I know roughly when to expect them home.

Very normal 💐
It’s so worrying sometimes.

Very normal