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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strange incident in the woods

335 replies

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 21:07

It’s still playing on my mind and was just really odd.

Today, Dh and I took Dd, 5 and our dog in the woods/fields by our home. All was fine and we were heading back home, I was walking ahead keeping track of our dog and Dh was with Dd (she walks slowly, wants to stop to play/have adventures etc)
I saw a person walking behind Dh who was swaying from side to side and just seemed very odd, I felt a bit strange and started to call to Dd to run to me (as in a game-run as fast as you can/who’s the winner type thing) Dh had also noticed and started to walk more quickly, he then picked her up and started to hurry to me and we got to an open part where there were houses and cars. Dd was getting upset and shouting about why he picked her up etc and we were watching this person in the distance acting so strangely, staggering everywhere and then suddenly running.
A man came up talking on his phone (Russian I think and looking around everywhere) Dh asked him if he was looking for someone, the man didn’t speak English, so Dh started motioning towards the woods where the person had ran ( Dh says it was a woman)
Dh then went with the man to show him where she was and Dh said he saw this man find her
We explained to Dd, without trying to scare her.
As we were walking back we were discussing it and saying why did we try to run away, why didn’t we try to help them.
It was just a really really odd situation, we in these woods almost daily, nothing ever happens.

I keep wondering about this woman and what on earth had happened to her, Dh thinks she may have been drunk because of New year and wandered back and lost her way (the woods are next to the beach)

Would you have done the same thing? My initial feeling was fear and to get dd away

OP posts:
Kalevala · 01/01/2024 22:41

What would you have done if you hadn't see the man? At what point would your husband have turned back to assist the woman?

Kimmeridge · 01/01/2024 22:41

@Livelaughlovesigns I bet you wish you hadn't started this now

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:41

@Muchof Read the posts, she wasn’t running away from the man

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 01/01/2024 22:42

EmmaEmerald · 01/01/2024 22:40

Well, he certainly could have NOT spoken to a man who apparently didn’t speak English and direct him towards a woman in the woods.

that was a really easy thing to not to.

it smacks of a man thinking “Here’s a man! He must be legitimately IN CHARGE”.

I understand not wanting to approach someone and ask if they’re okay. I’ve fallen foul of that one and ended up putting drunk women in cabs etc and one homeless guy (injured) I had to call an ambulance. I didn’t mind the homeless guy but drunk people, I just get cross.

it’s the automatic directing the man to her that I feel really annoyed about. He hadn’t even asked!

Calling the police quietly and saying “I’ve just seen an unwell person disappear into the woods” was the legit thing to do.

Spot on! 👏🏻

Pollyannamex · 01/01/2024 22:42

Kimmeridge · 01/01/2024 22:40

Or drugged and trafficked and managed to escape, until you helpfully got her back to her captor

Good old MN let's go for the most outlandish possibility.

If she was escaping don't you think she'd have approached the OP & her husband considering her 'captor' was on the phone to her. Or if she had a phone she'd have called 999

No one is even sure if they were on the phone together. This story has more holes than a Swiss cheese

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:43

@Kalevala We didn’t know it was a woman, we thought a drunk man, so we wouldn’t have, we just wanted to get Dd home. Had we known, the situation would obviously have been very different

OP posts:
BillionaireTea · 01/01/2024 22:43

The first part is clear. Let's slow it down at the point when your DH took the man to the woman.
Did he speak to the woman? Were they near each other? What exactly did the woman do or say to him or the other older man that made DH satisfied she knew him and they were OK?

Or is your story really that he didn't satisfy himself she was OK, as he was still freaked out by the first encounter? I think that's what you started out saying but have taken it somewhere else when people didn't like what you said.

littlebopeepp234 · 01/01/2024 22:43

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:39

@littlebopeepp234 Im glad this is entertainment to you

Well op you cannot seem to keep your story straight! It’s gone from a “knife wielding lunatic staggering about” and “bizarre situation in the woods” to “DH said it was a woman” to “the man was maybe Russian” to them now being “husband and wife” and it all being “genuine” and no real concern apart from “making sure your dd was safe” lol

Pollyannamex · 01/01/2024 22:43

Kalevala · 01/01/2024 22:41

What would you have done if you hadn't see the man? At what point would your husband have turned back to assist the woman?

Why would he ask some random man who couldn’t speak English rather than going to ask the woman if she was ok?

Blueberry911 · 01/01/2024 22:43

OP, genuinely have you had a drink tonight yourself?

Zwellers · 01/01/2024 22:44

Why do you need to get involved. Not your problem.

MuckyPlucky · 01/01/2024 22:44

Blueberry911 · 01/01/2024 22:43

OP, genuinely have you had a drink tonight yourself?

This

Delassalle · 01/01/2024 22:45

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:03

Ok I’m going to leave it there, I’ve said the situation

Dh isn’t a wuss at all, we assumed drunk/drugged up/acting very strangely man behind us and Dd in the middle of the woods with no one around to help

No one to help? Why would you need help?

You and your husband are both adults. That's two against one.

GrumpyMiddleAgedCow · 01/01/2024 22:46

I don’t understand, you and your husband ran away from a drunk woman, the pointed a man in her direction and are asking AIBU?

Pollyannamex · 01/01/2024 22:46

GrumpyMiddleAgedCow · 01/01/2024 22:46

I don’t understand, you and your husband ran away from a drunk woman, the pointed a man in her direction and are asking AIBU?

No one understands anything on this thread 😂

Kalevala · 01/01/2024 22:47

Pollyannamex · 01/01/2024 22:43

Why would he ask some random man who couldn’t speak English rather than going to ask the woman if she was ok?

You're right. I'm just wondering if they would have just left her and gone home.

Lifethroughlenses · 01/01/2024 22:47

I would never ever tell a bloke where a woman was who may have been running away. Possibly over dramatic but I’ve heard enough DV and horror stories to be very cautious. I’d always ask a lobe woman acting strangely if she needed help tbh.

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:47

@Delassalle Are you serious? We’re still not going to deliberately just wait around in the middle of nowhere with our daughter for someone to potentially do something crazy?

OP posts:
Kalevala · 01/01/2024 22:48

Delassalle · 01/01/2024 22:45

No one to help? Why would you need help?

You and your husband are both adults. That's two against one.

Exactly. Have you not realised that you are the grown ups now?

Bernieee · 01/01/2024 22:48

Report it to the police @Livelaughlovesigns !!!!!

MuckyPlucky · 01/01/2024 22:49

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:47

@Delassalle Are you serious? We’re still not going to deliberately just wait around in the middle of nowhere with our daughter for someone to potentially do something crazy?

Was it “the middle of nowhere” or was it “our usual dog walking route by the beach” ? 🤔

You don’t half put an infuriating spin on things to suit the narrative.

UsingChangeofName · 01/01/2024 22:49

Well op you cannot seem to keep your story straight! It’s gone from a “knife wielding lunatic staggering about” and “bizarre situation in the woods” to “DH said it was a woman” to “the man was maybe Russian” to them now being “husband and wife” and it all being “genuine” and no real concern apart from “making sure your dd was safe”

Yup

Livelaughlovesigns · 01/01/2024 22:49

I’m not drunk, I barely drink.
The situation is confusing, to me also, hence my posting as it was all so strange.
In hindsight we made mistakes and I don’t really need telling this.
Is there anything else we can now do in case

OP posts:
Pollyannamex · 01/01/2024 22:50

MuckyPlucky · 01/01/2024 22:49

Was it “the middle of nowhere” or was it “our usual dog walking route by the beach” ? 🤔

You don’t half put an infuriating spin on things to suit the narrative.

Edited

This narrative has been spinning like a hamster on a wheel all evening

Blueberry911 · 01/01/2024 22:50

It's really quite hard to imagine someone being this useless and then posting about it on Mumsnet and then arguing about it. But here we are.