To be told you have "mum boobs"

[ellie09]

Exactly this.

Partner made this comment when I was getting dressed - "theres the mum boobs"

AIBU to think its a little cheeky?

I dont make any comments about anybodys appearance.

What exactly are "mum boobs" anyway?!

He is lucky to have any boobs in his life. Ignore.

Tell him he has a "Granddad Dick" see how he likes it

I have no time for a man who uses mum as if its some kind of insult

I wouldn't care if its because of the underwear you were wearing or it it was a reflection on your body

You body has created, nourished and held a baby. He should be in fucking awe of it, not putting it down

Maybe also tell him that his boobs are bigger than yours if he wears an XL. What a prick

Respond from the fella with a ball sack as empty as his brain. Then show him the door.

I'd label it the disappointed cock, cos it shouldn't be getting any joy from you after that bitchy comment.

My brain did try to put a positive spin on and think maybe he meant pillowy and comforting but nah. He deserves a similarly unkind personal retort.

Eww. Before you even had met??

I think that's a bit of a jump to say he's disgusted. Most likely a thoughtless stupid comment about her non perky breasts which he's actually been perfectly happy with for 7 years

It pisses me off beyond belief that men think it's acceptable to make comments like that. Why do our boobs need to be some kind of perfect that mets THEIR standards? Would you go around telling men their balls are too ugly and saggy (which they all are btw) or making other offhand unpleasant comments about their bodies? It's beyond unacceptable and having experienced that kind of BS firsthand and learning that it inevitably gets worse, I have zero tolerance for it now and would struggle to see him again without a sincere apology.

Maybe he said it as an attack because he actually feels insecure himself. Not cool.

It’s horrendous isn’t it 😂 I don’t even know where we first heard the word but it made us laugh so much and now we can’t stop saying it to each other.

im just wondering if OPs partner is trying to make some kind of joke that she’s not in on. If so he needs to understand that jokes are only jokes when the other is in on them.

Or he’s saying it to put her down in which case he needs to go in the bin.

This was an unnecessary and rude comment. The only way to find out why he said it is to ask him, but it's irrelevant really, because it was rude regardless of his intentions. Also, it's obvious that if you ask him, he'll just turn it round on you and say you were being oversensitive about a joke.

Make it clear that these out downs are not acceptable, for whatever reason he might have said it.

theres the mum boobs

It was a mean-spirited remark meant to humiliate you as you were dressing.

I would be wondering whom he was comparing you to. I’d also be wondering why he chose to create distance between you via his devaluation of your body and his refusal to take a walk with you.

@ellie09, a truly loving partner who cherishes and respects you would have never uttered such words.

Op, he was taking you down. You have the audacity to sleep on the sofa due to his horrendous snoring (due to his weight I imagine) and he took it personally rather than apologising for keeping you awake.

He then decided to punish you by insisting he would not join you for a walk and then took it a step further by directly insulting your body. The most feminine. Intimate part of you. Not your toes or something benign but straight for the jugular.

If you have already been divorced for being mistreated, then you know where this willl lead. In my view, simply monitoring him is not enough. I would ask him to leave. A trial separation. There is no way I would have an intimate relationship with a man like this. He is no catch is he.

Is he resentful you haven’t had children together? It’s a really nasty thing to say.

PHITE ( pref not with your mum boobs but your pointer finger)

Yes, I'm thinking it's a dig at you being a mum and he isn't the father. I'd be really hurt at a comment like this, if it was said in a nasty manner. I'm all for jokes but it all depends on context etc.

I guess mum boobs are a bit droopy - not as firm as they once were. Pretty rude comment to make

I had an ex who was bald and overweight.
He was also sweaty but I loved him and didn't see him that way until we seperated.

I was a size 10 and he would make me feel so so insecure and criticize my clothes too.

Only realised after we broke up that it was to make me feel lucky that he was with me/found me somewhat attractive.

It's not about what you look like, or what he looks like.

It's about him wanting you to feel a certain way by chipping away at your confidence.

He'll be smug that you took it and didn't challenge him, so he'll keep doing it every now and then.

I'd ask him what he meant, it certainly doesn't sound like a compliment.

Thinking he might have been annoyed as he was snoring like a train so I had taken myself off to sleep on the sofa for the night, and then he said he wanted the rest of the day to himself rather than go for a walk with me.

I agree with @Aquamarine1029. And I think you’re underreacting, OP. This is a nasty comment, derogatory and designed to point out your apparent flaws. He’s saying your boobs are negatively impacted by childbearing and he’s pointing it out to make you feel bad.

Also, he’s pissed off with you because he was snoring like a fat pig and you had to go on the sofa to be able to get any sleep?

No. He sounds like a very poor quality man.

That's a nasty comment made on purpose to punish you for not doing what he wants. I would tell him you didn't think it was OK and how he reacts is your answer as to whether he's a decent man or not.

It's quite a spiteful comment, I cannot see it's meant in a complimentary way at all. Your suggestion that he might have said it as he was in a grump because you slept elsewhere due to his snoring is making him sound like even more of a prick to be honest. This doesn't need monitoring op, he needs bloody telling! "Dh I am really upset by your critical comment about my breasts. I never make negative comments about your body, please do not do this again. I am not an object for your pleasure I am a person and you can show me some respect or you can fuck off"

Mum boobs means big and saggy I think.
I'd have said 'yours are catching mine up'.

May be something for me to monitor in case he says things like this in anger etc as I wont be putting up with that.

Definitely op. If he’s normally complimentary then this might be out of character or it may be that you are just starting to see the beginning of who he truly is. It’s a definite red flag. It’s a disparaging, misogynistic, unkind thing to say and kindness is fundamental to any relationship imho.

Please do this. Or tell him he’s hardly Mr Fucking Universe.

I have been with others before him and noone has ever told me anything like it before.

Not something to ride home about, but I did have a wild stage, and quite a high body count where I have been with some very good looking and fit men, all of whom have never made negative comments about my body.

His ex was 6 years younger than him, extremely fit and a great body. He always said she had a great body but was a horrible person so "looks weren't everything". I reminded him even back then, that of course someone so young, has all the time in the world for gym and has no children, will look seemingly perfect but once you have kids, your body will never be as it once was.

Luckily, I don't have low confidence and his comment hasn't really affected me in that way. I just find it rather hypocritical given his own body hiccups.