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AIBU?

Is it normal to be counting down the hours until bedtime (as a parent)

49 replies

Rvah99877 · 01/01/2024 19:23

I have a 2 and 4 year old who I love more than anything and I really enjoy spending time with them one on one but together I find it awful and totally draining. I just want to hear from other people to find out what’s normal …I don’t know if it’s a problem with me or a problem with them (in terms of behaviour issue or them being unhappy)…or just normal!

From the moment I open my eyes I feel like the whinging begins (4 year old). I want x for breakfast. Ok hang on let me wake up a minute. Scream and tantrum within 2 mins of opening my eyes. Then this happens a million times per day. I never shout at her, I think I’m generally very patient and try to be empathetic and explain things to her etc but lately I feel pushed to my limit and just want to lock myself in a room.

2 year old screams when getting dressed, changing nappy, in car seat etc and I worry will have adhd as she doesn’t sit still for a second all day long. She never seems tired she goes from bouncing around on the bed to passing out in seconds at bedtime…no wind down. She’s actually pretty happy and good natured when not getting dressed eyc but physically exhausting as she doesn’t stop and she’s into everything.

me and husband try to divide and conquer at the weekend and so we get one on one time with each. During this time I find parenting enjoyable and easy with two constantly demanding things from me I feel overwhelmed and like I’m always not doing a good enough job. They do play well together but both act extremely clingy and demanding when I’m around. When husband has them both they don’t act like that just when I’m there. He always says ‘they’ve been fine with me’ as someone starts screaming and tantruming within 5 mins of me entering the room.

i feel like I put so much effort in, fresh air and exercise every day, I play with them all day, I cosleep…and 4 year old just seems miserable and complains all day long.

is this normal? I want to enjoy my time with them..and I do separately I just don’t know why I haven’t adjusted to two by now

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

101 votes. Final results.

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You are NOT being unreasonable
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tiredmumma8696 · 01/01/2024 19:27

IMO it's definitely normal. I also have a 2 and 4 year old and it's hard work especially the constant whinging.
It sounds like you are doing a great job

Resembleflower · 01/01/2024 19:29

Normal, I remember that period very well. It’s hard and to be honest thankless lol it does get better.

Bakensmile · 01/01/2024 19:29

That’s a really tough age but in general yes I think it’s totally normal to countdown until bedtime!

Blancher · 01/01/2024 19:31

I've got two, currently 4 and 5. I know exactly how you feel and I think it's fairly normal for a lot of other parents I know with two.

Nothing much else to say aside from I am living in hope that it'll get easier one day 😑

milesmachine · 01/01/2024 19:32

I saw the threat title and immediately internally nodded/yes, yes, this is me

I also have a 2 and 4 year old! Hoping it improves with age!

Timeforanewnam · 01/01/2024 19:32

Yes x

sometimes the minutes as well
🤣🤣

that stage does pass eventually

Tistheseasontobejollytrala · 01/01/2024 19:41

Also completely normal to whinge more/start up as soon as mum enters the room. Little beasties!

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 01/01/2024 19:45

We definitely do, a just turned 2 year old and a 5 year old.

I'm exhausted all the time, right now I'm sitting outside the 5 year old room waiting on him falling asleep whole my DH is inside the 2 year old room doing the same thing.

I just feel our lives are utter shit at the moment!

Seagrassbasket · 01/01/2024 19:47

Totally normal. The saying the days are long but the years are short is a saying for a reason - the days are interminable! Xx

AhBiscuits · 01/01/2024 19:56

Totally normal.

Is it normal to be counting down the hours until bedtime (as a parent)
Allywill · 01/01/2024 20:02

it was normal in our house!

justanotherboymum · 01/01/2024 20:05

Definitely the case for me most days! When does it get easier?!

surreygirl1987 · 01/01/2024 20:08

I have a 3 year old and a 5 year old and that is entirely normal in our house. I love them to bits, but dear god I live for those few hours after their bedtime!

WillowCraft · 01/01/2024 20:21

I think perhaps you are trying too hard/being too nice? It's ok to say "not now I'm having a break or getting on with some jobs, go and play". I mean I take mine out every day for fresh air and exercise but when we're home they are expected to entertain themselves with minimal input, I will set them up with something or help them find a toy but don't let them keep on mithering constantly. They have loads of toys and pens, paper, colouring books etc especially just now after Christmas. If they are getting really annoying I will put TV on. Mine are 2.5 and 4.5, so slightly older, things have hugely improved in the last 6 months i'd say.

wasanneofcleves · 01/01/2024 20:25

Sounds very normal. My nearly 4 year old is also a nightmare at the moment- constant whinging and tantrums. You sound more patient than me- I don't shout but I do get frustrated. My two year old sounds similar to yours too although ADHD never crosses my mind. She's very full in all the time but at least not whinging like the 4 year old. It's full on. I don't do divide and conquer at the weekend but maybe I should- having just one sounds really nice!

Rvah99877 · 01/01/2024 20:36

@wasanneofcleves the divide and conquer definitely helps…it’s weird as I’m sure we found it hard when we only had 1 and now having 1 feels so easy! Plus we then get to do more age appropriate things they’ll enjoy like 4 year old will go on big bike rides now but 2 year old obviously couldn’t keep up

OP posts:
Riverlee · 01/01/2024 20:38

Yes!

Rainbowshit · 01/01/2024 20:38

Totally normal

cravingmilkshake · 01/01/2024 20:40

Totally normal- we've a 4 year old and 2 , two year olds. It's insane!!

Rvah99877 · 01/01/2024 20:40

@WillowCraft i think this could be the case as well…I’ve tried recently to do this more, e.g telling them im going to sit here and play my guitar for 10 mins while you do this drawing etc and it’s been ok really so I think I’m realising that maybe I don’t need to be ‘on’ quite so much. Easier with my 4 year old but 2 year old immediately starts opening kitchen cupboards / knocking things over etc as soon as my attention is diverted too much!

OP posts:
Rvah99877 · 01/01/2024 20:41

@AhBiscuits love this 🤣

OP posts:
NoLostCause · 01/01/2024 20:42

I have a five year old and a just turned two year old and I could have written your post. The 2yo is extra clingy with me at the moment (but fine with DH) and I feel like I'm just counting down the months until he's old enough to reason with!5yo is generally good but it does feel like one long, never ending conveyor belt of requests for drinks, to take someone to the toilet, to clean up yet more mess, prepare yet another meal! I love them but the days can feel so long!

RosePetals86 · 01/01/2024 20:43

Yes completely normal OP😂 I have a 5 and 3 y/o. Bedtime is like a marathon some nights and then there’s no guarantee they’ll stay asleep! Solidarity with all my fellow sleep deprived, drained to the core mums!x

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 01/01/2024 20:43

It's normal, your going a great job ❤️ remember this too shall pass.

Jeannie88 · 01/01/2024 20:46

Yup totally normal! Counting down the seconds and knowing they're asleep and safe amd you can finally breathe properly! X

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