To ask colleague for a lift, or would I be a CF?

[dontwanttobeacf]

Colleague and I have been paired up, and need to attend a 1-hour meeting in another town at the end of the work day (i.e. we will both go home straight after this meeting - we also live in separate directions). It's been difficult to arrange this meeting, and the person we're meeting with has asked us for a meeting 30 minutes after a meeting we have in our office. It's a 30 minute drive (so it's do-able), but going by train or bus would take 60 minutes so not possible.

I do drive, and colleague knows me as someone who drives. However, I struggle a lot with driving, and haven't been driving for several months and have been getting the bus to the office. Driving to the meeting would also involve narrow country lanes in the dark. I feel embarrassed to tell colleague this, as I'm in my late 20s and feel like I should be able to drive... I've got some refresher driving lessons booked in, so I am trying to do something about it.

WIBU to tell my colleague I don't have access to my car, and ask if she would be able to give me a lift from the office to the meeting, and I will then make my own way home? I would also offer petrol money. Or should I phrase it as I need to ask to move the meeting as I won't be able to get there within 30 minutes as I'd need to use public transport, and see if she then offers me a lift?

I hate imposing on others, but I had hoped the meeting would have been arranged at a time that allowed sufficient time for me to make my own way there.

is it possible to do the meeting over Zoom or microsoft teams?

Deffo ask - you're overthinking it. You're both travelling from the same office to the same meeting for the same employer. This isn't a common request you make, it's a one off and you're not even asking for a lift home. You could even say your car is getting repaired and you're waiting for a part or something if you don't want to say the reason.

I think you should ask and don't see why it should only be a once off. Your colleague has to make the trip anyway. It makes no difference if you are in the car. It's a work trip and you are both going to the meeting together. Will they not get mileage that more than covers the petrol anyway?

@frenchtipss this, also surely she'd prefer said colleague would prefer that than the meeting being pushed out half an hour? depending on how close this meeting is etc it could mean rearranging childcare or other stuff

Is travelling by cab an option?

I can see no harm in asking. They have a choice of two answers and even without the anxiety, taking a bus to work is fine.

You never know, they mat appreciate the company.

Driving anxiety is real. Despite many refresher lessons, I’ve had to admit that nerves make me potentially dangerous. People are often dismissive of this.

In my work place, we commonly say “no point in taking two cars” or “let’s use the drive to prep”, followed up by “are you okay to drive?”.

She should get extra “passenger” mileage as part of her expenses too (but check your work policy).

Like others have said, at my place of work, it would be normal for people to arrange to travel together to a meeting, better than taking two cars unnecessarily.

I think as long as you're clear that you don't expect a lift home, you could say something like 'I've already arranged xxxx to get home' so they don't feel obliged then you're absolutely fine OP!

Completely normal to share a car in these circumstances. Also, if it’s a work requirement, it would be completely normal for the driver to claim mileage .
Just be clear you are making your own way home .

I'd say yes if you asked me, especially as it's a one off.

I'd be honest with why though. Well done on booking those refresher lessons too

If its a work meeting that youre required to attend, and its getting there in such a small time frame rules out public transport, why can't your firm pay for a taxi so you make it on time?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4974997-university-placement-is-in-the-middle-of-nowhere-aibu
Didn't realise how many non-driver drivers there were! Good luck on your refresher course.

Of course. It's a lift from somewhere you both ate to somewhere you are both going. Absolutely not a big deal anywhere IN THE WORLD except Mumsnet...

Yeah I reckon ask, I wouldn't mind being asked for a lift.
I prefer a bit of notice as my car is quite mucky and I'd be embarrassed to give a lift on the spot, but if I knew the day before I'd do a quick clear out and clean.

Perfectly acceptable to ask, 'mind if I jump in with you? I'll make my own way home'.

Your company should actively encourage car sharing - so hopefully it won't be seen as an imposition.

I'd ask in advance tho, to be sure it's ok, but also some people (me!) like to make sure teenagers haven't left empty drink bottles/wrappers and crap in my car before I offer lifts.

Just ask and she can say no. You don’t need to say you’re nervous about driving.

Alternatively ask if it can be rearranged to a more suitable time.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking and if I was your colleague I wouldn’t bat an eye lid. Explain your situation if you want to, don’t if you don’t (I can’t imagine anyone would be anything but sympathetic).
Since when did it become cf behaviour to ask a favour? Would you do it for someone if the roles were reversed?

No I think that's fine since you're both going to the same place. I have given and received lifts to/ from colleagues many times and never asked for money or given any. I think that's a bit OTT especially since it won't cost them any more than going alone. One colleague bought me a gift as I gave her several lifts over a period of time due to an ankle injury.

You don't need to explain if you don't want to, just say you don't have your car that day or normally use public transport (which could be for any reason - environmental concerns?)

Please don't offer money or anything. It makes it a bigger deal than it is. And she'll get mileage anyway.

Fine to ask and explain you will make your own way home!

I dont think there is any harm in asking but you do run the risk of her asking you for the same favour next time which might be difficult to refuse.

A lift to the meeting is absolutely fine. I don't think that's cheeky x

Completely fine to ask. In fact, I would expect you to share a lift in some way, and I’d expect the company to pay mileage/petrol.