New year, new friends

[mississippii]

Happy new year fellow Mumsnet people!
I was just contemplating a few things this morning but mainly fiends.
Over the years I've noticed many have drifted, shifted and dissipated! All of which is fine and normal as life happens.
But one that really bothered me was last week.
I was catching up with a friend who lives overseas so we don't talk often but I've known her over 20 years as we went to school together so we text often. Anyway, she sent me a message over Christmas sending regards and good wishes etc which we always do.
I sent her some family pictures of mine to which she said and I quote "you must have the oldest iPhone as your pictures are always so crappy and out of focus!"
I was shocked.. so I said sorry, and that they were taken at night. To which she responded with a shrug emoji and that they were always shit..!
Now I don't know if it's me but I think it's so extremely rude to make a comment like that?
I would never want to offend a friend by saying that. Even if I thought it I would have worded it differently.
How would you feel about it?

can't remember if she exactly said 'shit'

you are so bothered but you can’t recall the wording of a short message a week ago?

and oldest crappy phone is just a touch different from “you take shit photos” 🙄

and have you deleted it?

I hear you. Good point and something to acknowledge.
I'm not normally so sensitive and would usually buts it off.
There are obviously other issues which have been building and developing to the point where I suppose this is the final straw.

I don't remember word for word and no I haven't deleted it. It was more the tone and subsequent reply.
I did say before that I may have been over sensitive. Hence the whole point of the thread.
Isn't that the point of this site?

I gave my reasons.
It wasn't just one thing. There were other things which lead to this. I suppose this was the last straw.
I admitted that I nigh have been a bit sensitive. Isn't that the whole point of conversations like this?

ok so…. this a friendship from the past currently limited to infrequent texts that has well and truly run its course.

No loss by the sounds of it.

if things have been brewing in a relationship where the only interaction is infrequent text messages…. then that really is a sign this is dead in the water!

True, I'm inclined to agree with you.
We have an awful lot of history thought where it's difficult to just let go. We basically grew up together so it's not really just like an average friendship.
But I do completely agree. Even friendships like this have limits.

I have a friend who always takes the piss out of my photos. I find it quite funny. I doubt your friend meant to hurt you.

Most people seem to think I'm being over sensitive. That's exactly why I posted the question.
I value all the input. It wasn't what was said but the WAY it was said. But I am completely able to see where I was over reacting and over thinking.

it wasn’t what was said, it was the WAY it was said?

this was all via text messaging!!

Why don’t you say you hadn’t realised they were losing quality when you sent them as the originals look fine

I can't imagine ever feeling the need to say someone's photos are "always shit" even if they are never very good. Who cares enough about the quality of someone else's photos to be rude like that.

I suspect your friend has some other feelings that drive her to say negative things like that to you.

How is she in general with your friendship? Is she a good friend?

If it was the "WAY" that she said it then surely it is worth going back to the messages and checking the exact wording?

I did. She said they always look bad. As I said, bad, blurry or whatever I just don't think it's a nice comment to make. No matter how close I was to someone I just wouldn't have said it like that. But as I'm seeing from people on here I must have taken it a bit wrong.

I honestly don't know. I thought she was. But saying things like that put me off.
We spent so much of our youth growing up together so I thought we were very tight.
But we are in different places. She has kids, I don't and I guess our lives have drifted. But I hadn't looked at it that way before.

Try cleaning / polishing your camera lens on your phone
Yes they look blurry to me
Good luck x

But as I'm seeing from people on here I must have taken it a bit wrong.

No one on here actually knows, OP. They don't know exactly what she said, or the context. I think you need to go with your gut feeling.

Did she comment on anything else about the photos, ie the content? Or just criticise the quality?

because it was clearly not anywhere near like “your photos are shit” and the Op knows she was grossly exaggerating.

Now it’s not WHAT she text. It is the WAY she text.

Which is plainly…. daft when we are taking about messaging!!