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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else had a shit Christmas..

28 replies

alwaysunwell · 31/12/2023 10:32

We all had cold. Christmas Eve partner starts any argument he can as he does every year, making family feel awkward.
Christmas Day was ok, but I come out in loads of cold sores.
Boxing Day he spends sulking with me as I didn't put any photos of him online from Christmas Day, and then leaves me and kids home while he goes to football.
My car breaks down, so while he goes to visit family from 27-30 dec I quite literally can't go anywhere.
So I've told him I'm going to mums with kids tonight and he can stay home, and I don't even know if I want to continue our 11 year relationship. He's ruined Christmas for me.

Anyone else??

OP posts:
Ifeelsolow247 · 31/12/2023 10:37

Yes I did.

I'm sorry you are having such a rubbish time.

Babyroobs · 31/12/2023 10:38

Not great. Covid has ruined most plans.

tescocreditcard · 31/12/2023 10:38

Hope 2024 holds better things for you OP x

JenniferGreenHat · 31/12/2023 10:40

Same as @Babyroobs - Covid has messed up a lot this Christmas. Hope 2024 is better OP xx

Brumbies · 31/12/2023 10:42

Yea I was full of cold. Still had a xmas dinner to cook for an ungrateful son and a grateful grandson. I cried on and off during the day as I felt so fed up. I'd have cancelled the whole thing if it wasn't for my sweet grandson.

BotherThat · 31/12/2023 10:50

I have a husband and two daughters and we spent Xmas day with husband’s family who mark the occasion in a way that’s totally alien to me.

sadly, my parents and my younger sibling have all passed away and Xmas can sometimes feel quite lonely for me, if that makes sense, despite my girls.

I do concentrate on the kids, of course, but I really miss my own mum and dad and brother and I imagine how different things would be with my parents as overexcited grandparents, and maybe my brother would have been married by now with kids of his own and there would be nieces and / or nephews to spoil too.

It’s just not what I’d pictured or anticipated, and this time of year really hammers that home in a particularly painful way.

caringcarer · 31/12/2023 10:52

@alwaysunwell I couldn't put up with starts an argument every Xmas shit. Any particular reason or is he just being an arse? I hope 2024 is a good year for you. You don't have to take low level crap every year you know.

Original poster
alwaysunwell · 31/12/2023 11:01

I'm sorry everyone.. my love and thoughts go out to you all!

I read a thing and it made sense I'll try to find it..

To ask if anyone else had a shit Christmas..
OP posts:
Original poster
alwaysunwell · 31/12/2023 11:02

He just does it every year and I don't know why. Early December he tends to start low level arguments ready to have something to through at me around Christmas time.. then Christmas Eve or Christmas Day he likes to find the most pathetic thing to make me cry about.

OP posts:
Sweettooth33 · 31/12/2023 11:04

BotherThat · 31/12/2023 10:50

I have a husband and two daughters and we spent Xmas day with husband’s family who mark the occasion in a way that’s totally alien to me.

sadly, my parents and my younger sibling have all passed away and Xmas can sometimes feel quite lonely for me, if that makes sense, despite my girls.

I do concentrate on the kids, of course, but I really miss my own mum and dad and brother and I imagine how different things would be with my parents as overexcited grandparents, and maybe my brother would have been married by now with kids of his own and there would be nieces and / or nephews to spoil too.

It’s just not what I’d pictured or anticipated, and this time of year really hammers that home in a particularly painful way.

I am in a similar place. I have lost my parents, brother and son. My daughters miss my son, their brother, so much that they become very sad and dark. I miss my son so much that I want Christmas to disappear. I also miss my witty, power house of a mother. Mother and son died 10 years ago … mum on Dec 21. My brother paid for me and my daughters to have Christmas dinner out. His children, whom I do not really know, spent their entire time jabbing at their mobile phones :(

Original poster
alwaysunwell · 31/12/2023 11:05

@Sweettooth33 FlowersFlowersFlowers

OP posts:
SeulementUneFois · 31/12/2023 11:11

Yes unfortunately.
My boyfriend more or less ignored me for the three weekends around Xmas (including this one).
The only thing he'd do with me is watch TV in the evening - after 10 mind you, after he's spent the day spending time and doing things with everyone else.
We had a trip to London for a few days and I had to walk behind him and his teenagers like a dog all the time. I literally asked him for 5 minutes to feel like we're together and that was too much of an ask.
He got me a book for Xmas, that he got me on Xmas eve, after asking me on the day (I'd given him plenty more ideas earlier in the month, and he knows some perpetual favourites as well). Then he got pissed off at me because I had a few presents for him (so supposedly showed him up - though there was noone else around).
We'll have a weekend supposedly together next weekend (not going anywhere or anything planned) and I know he won't want to do anything and just ignore me throughout so I don't even have anything to look forward to.

diamondpony80 · 31/12/2023 11:20

I've had 2 covid Christmases where I couldn't visit family members at all, a Christmas day where I had the worst tonsillitis I've ever had and spent the day trying to find a doctor and a pharmacy to get my prescription, and this year spent half the day visiting a sick relative in hospital. Nobody gets the perfect magical Christmas every year. It always feels like a let down though as there's always such a big build up to it.

BrimfulOfMash · 31/12/2023 11:24

@SeulementUneFois “Yes unfortunately.
My EX boyfriend more or less ignored me for the three weekends around Xmas (including this one).”

Sound like a fix?

CreationNat1on · 31/12/2023 11:30

Had a family bereavement on 26th December, funeral 29th (Ireland, it's super fast), coincided with my dad s death anniversary. I be had cold sores and also my period and also worked through it all. I never expect Christmas to be magical

MrsToothyBitch · 31/12/2023 11:39

DH got heavily pressured into attending a work Christmas event- they had a solution for every attempt to wriggle out- and he came home with Covid which he promptly gave to me! This was our second Christmas poorly on the bounce - started chest infections on xmas eve last year- so whilst we had a nice time together it was a bit lonely and dull as we couldn't do anything fun in the run up, had to cancel a few things.

We did go to a couple of family events over the last couple of days as we are now better. I agreed to bring food to one and gave myself a hideous burn on a pan whilst prepping. The hostess who asked us to bring stuff also messaged the day before to say not to bother as she had enough - unless we'd already cooked it. I had already done one dish and burnt myself and had paid for the ingredients for the other so I did crack on and cook.

HalloweenIsDone · 31/12/2023 12:39

DP worked. I had Covid and am still down with it. We've done nothing and I feel bad for the DC.

gano · 31/12/2023 12:41

Me. My dog was unwell, starting Xmas day, had to have her put to sleep on Thursday. Very sudden, and not very old. I can't believe how grief stricken I am, and I've had some huge losses in my life.

Brumbies · 31/12/2023 12:42

That's awful - I'm really sorry for you. Sending a virtual hug.

KatSlatersCoat · 31/12/2023 12:45

gano · 31/12/2023 12:41

Me. My dog was unwell, starting Xmas day, had to have her put to sleep on Thursday. Very sudden, and not very old. I can't believe how grief stricken I am, and I've had some huge losses in my life.

Oh that is so sad. I'm so sorry. X

HamSandwichKiller · 31/12/2023 13:05

@SeulementUneFois please don't waste any more weekends on this fool. Treat yourself to a better 2024.

ellie09 · 31/12/2023 13:16

Yes, me!

Had DS this year (me and his dad take turns every year) and we went to my mums. DS has autism and let mum know in advance little things she could do to make Christmas more autism friendly. None of it was taken on board.

Family members winding DS up deliberately. Multiple meltdowns from DS due to getting told off because he was getting wound up. Me and DS were put in another room on our own from dinner away from everybody else which caused another meltdown.

I was designated driver AGAIN so spent all xmas driving around my sister who cant drive and her kids back and forth to my mums. Had to check on boyfriends cats which he left overnight to go to his mums 1.5 hours away 3x times on xmas day to feed them as well as checking in on my own dog.

I was exhausted by 6pm and asleep by 9pm and ended up sick with norovirus 2 days later.

SeulementUneFois · 31/12/2023 14:48

@BrimfulOfMash , @HamSandwichKiller ,
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Sadly I'm a typical sorry tale on MN in that I've been unhappy in the relationship for years but have continued with it...
I've psycho babbled myself to death and for I know it's some sort of trauma bonding or desperation on my part or some such.
Unfortunately I'm currently having big problems with my job...but with it the silver lining that I probably will need to move countries and move to London for a new job. So that would make me have to cut the cords.
Thank you, it's lovely to hear someone understand (I did tell him that I was upset last night and his reply was that he does things for me too - one of the examples being that he let me put too many baubles on the tree ..).

Ella31 · 31/12/2023 17:53

Yes my twin baby sons died in the NICU 4 days after birth mid November. Trying to get through this winter in one piece tbh.

TiredandWornoutFTM · 31/12/2023 20:05

Ella31 · 31/12/2023 17:53

Yes my twin baby sons died in the NICU 4 days after birth mid November. Trying to get through this winter in one piece tbh.

Ella, I am so very sorry, what an awful thing to have to go through, my daughter was born 6 weeks early and spent time in NICU too, can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now 💐. Hugs.

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