Is this something I should worry about?

[K900]

I recently changed my first name at the age of 29/30. I'm just wondering how do I deal with bumping into past work colleagues or women I dated? I don't know how I'd deal with the awkwardness. I was just uncomfortable going by my first name and chose something I preferred. I'm a man and I live in a small city where I'm bound to bump into people I know. It's making me a bit anxious. Thanks.

Yeah I know, I guess I feel a bit of imposter syndrome at the moment. Hope it will improve with time.

I'm trying alright but do sometimes feel a bit stupid or imposter syndrome when introducing myself. I prefer it to my middle name but it just feels a bit weird as I have no history now with this name which sucks

I guess I'm worried about the judgement when they find out either through bumping into them or through social media

Changed my name to what my actual name means which is Alex. My birth name is Sascha, it has the same meaning as Alex. Sascha is a Russian nickname for Alexander. I just thought it would be easier to explain to people.

No one will judge, they might be a bit "Oh that's odd" for maybe 5 seconds but that will be it. Changing your name, while important to the person, is pretty boring and not the sort of thing that causes gossip

You said that in your other thread and I told you then that you don't get leprosy from judgement. People won't judge you in your face and what they think of you in the comfort of their own head is none of your concern.
It very much feels like you are judging yourself so start there. Why do you think changing a name is a cause for judgment? What do you think it says about you and is it true?

Say it as much as you can and start building up some history!

I really like the name "Sascha". I could understand if you had a name that was really awful but there's nothing wrong with that. It's very distinctive, which is great.

Are you OK in every other way? Are you focusing on your name when actually you have other problems?

If it's girls you've dated in the past or had passed relationship me with. Why is it so important that they know your new name?

If you accidentally bumped into them surely it would be brief small talk then move on. They might not even use your name but if they do, ignore it, move on. End the chat and you'll not see them again?! Why do you care if people form your past that you don't have an ongoing relationship with use the right name or not?

I guess I am judging myself a bit as I'm disappointed I didn't choose my current name a few years ago and feel like I wasted a good few years going by a name that didn't feel right. Someone made a comment before to me as well that changing your name is something a 'pushover' would do and I don't want to be seen as a 'pushover' or seen as 'weak'.

Oh lord. Very few people choose their names. You had a perfectly good name. Why change it?

I will alright, it just bothers me that I can't change it in work as I know another person in my work with the same name and that would just be very awkward. Also a lot of people know me in my hometown so I don't know how to deal with that.

Of course you can change it at work! You can’t just have a part time name.
An acquaintance changed his name some years ago. Because I rarely see him I still forget and call him by his old name. Or if someone says ‘Dan was out last week’ ill
say ‘who’s Dan?’ It takes time for people to adjust but you have to go all in. You can’t use one name for work and another out of work. That’s just weird

Hated it since the age of 12, got fiercely bullied in school and when I left school I'd get constantly asked is Sascha is my 'actual name' ,so when in college started going by my middle name. My family and friends all call me it still so to make things easier for myself I decided to change it to Alex, and then when people ask why I'm called Sascha by family and such, I can just say Sascha is a Russian nickname for my name

I'm too embarrassed to say it to the manager, and also all my work colleagues would get weirded out as I'm new enough there

Kindly, I don’t think anybody will be bothered about you changing your name other than you.

As someone who has recovered from GAD, I feel reasonably confident in saying:

Nobody else gives a crap. They will find it weirder that you’re making an issue of it. It isn’t an issue for anyone else. Have your name, use it everywhere, nobody minds. At all.

You're making a massive big deal out of this when it needn't be. Or perhaps you're not telling us the full story.. Have you changed sex as well? Is that why it may feel awkward if you were to bump into exes?

If it's just a name change then I promise you, nobody cares. Maybe even continue allowing people from your past/colleagues to call you Sacha as they're not an important part of your life

Op, it will be fine. I changed my name aged 30, It’s been 8 years now and no regrets. I also had an unusual name and was bullied throughout childhood for it. 99% of people didn’t make a big deal of it, I have bumped into a few people from the past over the years who have used the wrong name but I just correct them, it’s a bit awkward but there opinion doesn’t really matter to me.

I know someone who changed names in middle age and to be honest, it did cause a lot of gossip and raised eyebrows. But if you have decided this is what you want to do, then do it - it’s your life to live.

Because this is my second time changing it I feel a bit stupid and feel I'll be judged more. I just chose the wrong option last time and am disappointed that I wasted years of my life going by the wrong name

Yeah, I guess I just don't want to have a lot of attention on me because of this. I guess I don't want to be know as the 'weird guy who changed his name's. For some reason I feel I'll get mocked about it because I changed my name twice

this is the Op second name change.

So two name changes by law in a short space of time

It is relevant

and like the other thread the Op started…. the consensus was that it isn’t the OP’s name calling him anguish and that it is obviously something else and he should pursue some help

Alex is a great name, and it is linked to Sacha, so just get on with it.

I've seen numerous threads from you on this. All the hand wringing about it isn't doing you any good.

You're Alex now, just get on with it.