DH gets jealous when I spend time with DD

54 replies

ch33sestring · 30/12/2023 16:03

Basically as it says in the title - DH gets jealous when I spend time with our daughter. She is an adult, early twenties, but she does have mental health issues so I do tend to overspoil her and as she has been staying with us over Xmas I have been taking her out for coffees a lot, doing puzzles together etc. DH makes snide comments about me spoiling her and choosing her over him, the day before she arrived he complained that I was too excited to see her. They don't have a close relationship so she is a source of resentment for him I think, but hate being stuck in the middle and don't know what to do!!!

OP posts:

Thalia31 · 07/05/2024 21:57

ch33sestring · 30/12/2023 16:03

Do you not find this strange?? Do you not think this may be related to your daughter's mental health issues? This is very weird. And I'm astounded you think this behaviour is normal.

Thalia31 · 07/05/2024 21:59

WhereYouLeftIt · 30/12/2023 17:50

So, your daughter has a father who resents her, who is snide when her mother chooses to spend time with her, who sees her as competition for her mother's attention. And it must surely have been this environment (resented by her father) that she grew up in. Don't kid yourself she was unaware of it - she would have been fully aware of her father's animosity, it doesn't sound as if he makes any effort to hide it.

Mental health issues? I wonder why! Maybe growing up on edge, waiting for the next show of pettiness from her father?

I suggest you remove yourself from the middle and firmly - very firmly - move to her side. That you tell your husband that you will ALWAYS choose her over him, and if he can't handle that then he should leave now.

This!!!!! 👏🏾

TheChosenTwo · 07/05/2024 22:08

What a bloody insecure jealous weirdo.

When our dd1 comes home from uni I love it, she’s the only one out of the 3 of our dc who likes going for long walks so we quite often will get up early and head out together, or we’ll walk to the pub or go out for lunch etc, dh thinks it’s very sweet and says things like “ahh you love having her home don’t you?” Which is 100% true and he loves having her home too but appreciates we are very close and enjoy hanging out together. After a week or so during the holidays when all her other friends are back I get dropped like a hot stone 😂 so I make the most of it.
Your dh is making a horrible issue out of this. She still needs you even though she’s grown up. Don’t stop being available to her when she needs you because he’s an arse. Show her she is a priority and always will be (i’m not saying you’re not but don’t be tempted to change your behaviour because of him).

Secondwifenotsecondbest · 07/05/2024 22:19

Why oh why are men so pathetic? We are mothers- our children will ALWAYS come first! Tell the worm you’re with to F off and make your heart happy by continuing to spend time with your beloved daughter xx

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