How can I stop my (just) 13 year old DS eating shit/drinking fizzy drinks so often?

[zeroherozero]

So, I admit that I am a big fan of homemade food and eating nutritionally. I'm also a great cook. So DC get great meals. But DS absolutely loves shite too. And as he becomes more and more independent, he wants to drink fizzy drinks or those bags of shitty sweets - a lot.

We talk to him a lot about it - making him understand that it's important what he puts into his body - and he says ok, but then goes ahead and buys this stuff.

In context, it's been particularly bad in the holidays - he doesn't tend to do anything as much in term time during the week. But it's hard to see him drink coke, want coke etc every day. He's really small for his age (constitutional, we think) and I worry about this being affected even more by diet (which I also explain to him) and also of course, teeth, general well being etc.

But it's really hard to control. He's more and more independent. He has a card with money on. We could take it away and he'd use his Xmas money. Or his friends pay.

Am I being overly neurotic?

Just set a limit on how much he can spend each week at the corner shop/on junk on his card.

Easier (imo) to have soft drinks available (we have cans of the caffeine free diet coke so the kids can have one on sat and one on sun if they choose).

As long as he eats a healthier diet at home. The rest is a treat with his friends.

Coca Cola is addictive. Maybe you could get him to join the boycott

I genuinely don't understand why you are laughing.

You have raised an issue, it is complicated by your concern about your child's height, what is funny?

I have no interest in knowing his height - but what is the reason for you worrying about the food in relation to his height unless the medical professionals have said eating sweets will make him grow less well? And if they have not said that, what is the issue with him eating the sweets, other than it being unhealthy in the regular way?

This thread seems so odd.

I think you need to chill. Growing up my parents restricted what was in the home as I was overweight and greedy, so when I got my pocket money I would go the shop and spend it all on crap and binged. Therefore I don’t have restricted foods for my kids, tried a different tactic, sometimes though they still make poor choices. Though the substances move on. The next lots of temptations for teenagers are far more worrying than a few sweets and fizzy pop. Vaping, smoking, drinking drugs. You can tell kids until they are blue in the face but they will still do what they want. Limiting funds helps.

I'm so sorry - I have no idea why that emoji is there. I was planning to reply but decided against it. I must have pressed without realising. I appreciate what you're saying - it's more about knowing there are links with nutrition and thriving rather than thinking there is a great medical mystery with height to unpick. As I said, upstream, it was a throwaway comment that I wish I hadn't tossed into the post.

I'm sorry you feel this thread is odd. Not sure why, but don't feel you have to keep coming back - life's too short!

I'm going to entirely revise my answer, as I thought there was some relevance to the height concern expressed. But if not, in answer to the question raised in the OP Am I being overly neurotic? - I think yes.

Too much focus on sweets, too many boring conversations, too much worry. If it has no impact on his height, let him be.

In light of your explanation that your laughing emoji was not intentional, this now reads rather snippy, but in essence if the height thing is not relevant, I'd let him be. His teeth (probably) won't fall out.

I think you've put that much focus on it you've made it forbidden, hence increasing its value.

Let him. Buy it in and offer it for every drink. I give him a fortnight before he's sick to death of it and craving water.

My youngest went through a similar stage. I just wanted to reassure you that it didn’t last. We continued to offer healthy food and drinks at home and didn’t make it into a ‘thing’.
He is massively into surfing and soon realised that junk food made him feel quite sluggish.

Honestly, I think if you're filling him with nutritious food 3 meals a day most days, it's fine. I think we all go through a phase of rebellion, and if he is active he will be burning the sugar off to an extent.

I'm not a fan of fizzy drinks either and don't buy them for house except diet lemonade at Xmas for mixers. My foster son loves fizzy stuff but I say he can have it but only the zero or diet varieties and he must use pocket money if he wants it. He went through a phase between 13-15 of buying it a lot. Then he realised he had less money for cinema, ice skating and meeting up with his friends so curbed his impulses. Now he's 17 he says himself it's bad for his body. He likes a vegetable or fruit smoothie he makes himself. If you tell him none at all you'll just make it forbidden fruit and he'll want it all the more. It's probably a tiresome phase he is going through.

Yes. I noticed a big change after 15 in diet. My FS is eating more protein and working out at the gym as well as loads of other sports. He looks after himself now.

I think what helped my FS was studying the BTEC in Sports with his GCSE's.

You’ve had a lot of good advice already, the only thing I’d add is that if you absolutely want to stop this habit, it’s actually very easy for you to do that with the age he is at. He’s a child with no income, so you cut off the money means you cut off his ability to go buy it. You say his friends would just buy it for him- yeah maybe they will once or twice, but they won’t every time, because they are all 13 with no income so they aren’t going to buy his fizzy drink every time they are out because they have limited funds themselves. You don’t have to cut it off completely, you can still have it in the house so that he can have a can/bottle after tea or whatever your deal would be, but outside of the house you absolutely can stop him having it- if you really want to.

When I was his age it was the 30p energy drinks from the corner shop after school my mum HATED me having (and now that I’m in my 20’s I think what on earth was in those cans🤣) but she did basically this with me. At that age, mum does know best even if dc can’t see it at the time (I certainly couldn’t).

Get him into fitness. There are loads of Instagram types that young lads follow.
show him Eddie Abbew . personally, I think he is too extreme but DS might enjoy the swearing and take in some of the messages about shit food.
There are probably others out there much more suited to your DSs age and putting a good healthy eating message over.

I asked about his height because I've got child v short for age who's in the endocrinology system and i would have pointed you towards some helpful facebook groups/websites etc if relevant, but that would be for a child who was (for example) 2nd % and under for height, not someone who was at the low end of the normal range.

Thank you very much.

OP I could have written your post. My 14 year old twins are the exact same. They exist on junk and rubbish. I cook from scratch, and they have plenty of more healthy options (with some treats) bought in the shopping. But they spend their allowance in Tesco and eat SO much rubbish.

I do remember doing the same at that age, and I think they’ll probably grow out of it. Both my boys are tall for their age, eat relatively well aside from the junk and brush their teeth well so I’m currently just letting them get on with it. Eventually they’ll discover things they’d rather spend their money on and not buy some much (I hope)!!!

Teens will buy this stuff, you can’t stop it. if he’s fed well at home there’s every chance he will make better choices when he’s older, that’s what matters, it really isn’t a hill to die on. My ds had several really small friends at school - the majority of them shot up in their later teens, whether they stuffed themselves with junk food or not. He’ll be fine.

How much money does he have access to?

At that age mine had about £5 per week. And at the time, the big temptation for them was video game DLC. So we restricted it so that they could only spend £2 per week on DLC, but the other £3 per week on whatever they wanted. We talked to them about why the rules were put in place, and they agreed to them.

Could you maybe do something similar, restricting the amount that can be spent on junk food?

You've made them overly attractive because you've totally denied them.
A controlled amount would have been a much better approach. You could start that now maybe?
Please don't deny him alcohol when he gets a bit older. The only 18+ year olds I've ever seen 'off their heads' were the ones who had never tried alcohol with parents, weren't allowed it, and therefore didn't know their limits.

It looks like you've already had lots of good advice. Random point, but have you considered buying a SodaStream? We have one but my DC are younger than yours. I use it to make healthier fizzy drinks. I would be worried if my DC drank Coke every day too.

As I have mentioned above, a couple of times, we might not have it in the house but he always has a fizzy drink if we go out. Which is often. We are not denying him. We have not denied him. There is often chocolate in the house, ice cream in the freezer.

Thanks