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Original poster

How can I stop my (just) 13 year old DS eating shit/drinking fizzy drinks so often?

80 replies

zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:02

So, I admit that I am a big fan of homemade food and eating nutritionally. I'm also a great cook. So DC get great meals. But DS absolutely loves shite too. And as he becomes more and more independent, he wants to drink fizzy drinks or those bags of shitty sweets - a lot.

We talk to him a lot about it - making him understand that it's important what he puts into his body - and he says ok, but then goes ahead and buys this stuff.

In context, it's been particularly bad in the holidays - he doesn't tend to do anything as much in term time during the week. But it's hard to see him drink coke, want coke etc every day. He's really small for his age (constitutional, we think) and I worry about this being affected even more by diet (which I also explain to him) and also of course, teeth, general well being etc.

But it's really hard to control. He's more and more independent. He has a card with money on. We could take it away and he'd use his Xmas money. Or his friends pay.

Am I being overly neurotic?

OP posts:
Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:31

LivingInADifferentWorldFromYou · 30/12/2023 16:30

You tend to find once boys hit 16 they become interested in working out, lifting weights, going to the gym and become more disciplined as to what they eat and drink. Both of my sons eat healthier than me, and to be honest my diet has always been quite healthy.

Thanks, that's helpful. I'm hoping this will be the case. He's sporty now but I know he's keen to get into the gym and bulk up

OP posts:
FrostieBoabby · 30/12/2023 16:31

It sounds like you are a really healthy household but everyone loves treats and teenagers will over indulge given the opportunity. I would just let this one go and let him enjoy being a teenager.

MadamVastra · 30/12/2023 16:33

Ok op how do YOU suggest you stop him? Loads of answers given here and none are yet to your liking - probably one thing among many to your 13 year old (who sounds absolutely normal)

Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:35

MadamVastra · 30/12/2023 16:33

Ok op how do YOU suggest you stop him? Loads of answers given here and none are yet to your liking - probably one thing among many to your 13 year old (who sounds absolutely normal)

Sorry, I didn't realise I came off like that. Apologies.

I don't know what I'd do - I feel like I've tried all this stuff.

Maybe I need to make it psychological, rather than practical, and accept this is who he is right now and he will be ok

OP posts:
RolyPolyBatFacedGirl · 30/12/2023 16:35

What exactly do you want people to suggest then?

You say you're concerned about his height. So someone - reasonably - asks how tall he is and suddenly that's not relevant

People suggest not buying it. Or restricting it. Or practising moderation. Or ignoring for now

Nothing seems to be the suggestion you're after ...

VisiblyNot25 · 30/12/2023 16:37

Maybe I need to make it psychological, rather than practical, and accept this is who he is right now and he will be ok

I think you’ve given yourself the best advice here, OP. Work on letting it go & knowing it’ll pass.

Clingfilm · 30/12/2023 16:37

My kids are the same, as was I at that age (and don't my teeth know it...), as a PP said it's just the new excitement of independence and being able to buy what you liked.

We just tell ours the consequences of eating shite and we don't buy so much at home.

RatatouillePie · 30/12/2023 16:38

Show him that episode of Supersize vs Superskinny where he shows the skinny guy who lives off Haribo how sweets are made. 🙀

My DS is the same. We don't have "crap" food in the house. He has sweets in a sweet box which they can have for pudding sometimes. But when he goes out with friends it's always sweets and fizzy drinks.

After Seeing How Gummies Are Made, You’ll Probably Never Eat Them Again

Story Source : https://goo.gl/GaNnpEEver wonder how gummy candies are made? Well, it turns out, you probably won’t eat them ever again after you find out! Gu...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOYUYr8YQpU

Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:39

RolyPolyBatFacedGirl · 30/12/2023 16:35

What exactly do you want people to suggest then?

You say you're concerned about his height. So someone - reasonably - asks how tall he is and suddenly that's not relevant

People suggest not buying it. Or restricting it. Or practising moderation. Or ignoring for now

Nothing seems to be the suggestion you're after ...

I've apologised above, before you posted, for seeming like I'm refusing suggestions - I'm not.

As for stating his height - I'm not going to do that. I really don't think it's relevant. What difference does it make? As his mother, I'm concerned about it enough to say that I'd like his diet to be as optimal as possible.

OP posts:
SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 16:41

zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:25

I hear all of this - I get what you're saying.

We do talk openly about it. I try not to judge but of course, he knows I am

I worry about his height, that's another layer around this

Have you had his height checked? If not, get that done so you can either get treatment or stop worrying.

I would just get him to set a reasonable amount of this stuff - based on current nutritional advice - and leave him to it. What are you achieving by constantly discussing? You have two options - ban it or allow it.

RolyPolyBatFacedGirl · 30/12/2023 16:41

His height isn't relevant at all - but YOU brought it up!

Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:43

RolyPolyBatFacedGirl · 30/12/2023 16:41

His height isn't relevant at all - but YOU brought it up!

I bought up his height, yes, as it is relevant to me. But getting into numbers isn't relevant to anyone else.

Is that not clear? I keep saying it

OP posts:
Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:43

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 16:41

Have you had his height checked? If not, get that done so you can either get treatment or stop worrying.

I would just get him to set a reasonable amount of this stuff - based on current nutritional advice - and leave him to it. What are you achieving by constantly discussing? You have two options - ban it or allow it.

Show quote history

This is true - regular discussions don't achieve much

We have had discussions about height with medics, yes. Thanks

OP posts:
margotrose · 30/12/2023 16:43

This is what teenagers do.

I will also say that I grew up in a "super healthy" household and all it did was push me in the other direction.

Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:46

Whilst I do cook good, nutritionally balanced meals, we're not super/neurotically healthy. DH wouldn't allow it - we do get that it will push them the other way

OP posts:
persisted · 30/12/2023 16:47

If he's sporty is he in a team? And is there a coach or some older boys who are more advanced that are involved in training?
If there are you could see if any of them could do a general chat about how to eat like an athlete, the impact that it has on performance, how what you eat can make you stronger etc.

It doesn't matter if you say the same thing to him, as far as he's concerned you don't know anything about anything.

I would also stop commenting on it, part of it will be that he knows you don't like it much. To be honest if you get through the next few years and the biggest issue is he drinks to much pop thats quite good going.

GotthroughChristmas · 30/12/2023 16:48

Completely normal behaviour at that age OP . He will want what his friends have . My 13 DS went through a phase of lots of Lucozade and Fanta every weekend when out with his friends . Hardly has it now . Just don’t buy it routinely . If you do away with the cereal bars which are awful anyway the odd self bought treat will fill that slot .

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 30/12/2023 16:48

As a child / teenager I ate tonnes of crap (probably still eat too much now but I have improved) and it doesn’t appear to have done me much harm.

My teenage DS eats a ridiculous amount of crap. Honestly I’ve stopped stressing about it, he eats decent home cooked meals a lot of the time and is not a fussy eater, he’ll also eat fruit alongside all the junk if its there, he’s fairly active in term time and is stick thin so as long as he's eating well in-between the numerous snacks and fizzy drinks and getting in fruit & veggies too and brushing his teeth well it is what it is! I’m sure like most of us he’ll eventually reach a time in his life where he will actively choose to eat less junk.

margotrose · 30/12/2023 16:49

Then if you feed him properly at home I really wouldn't get too worked up about coke and junk food with his mates.

I don't know any 13 year old boys who go out for salads or nice, nutritionally balanced meals lol.

ZenNudist · 30/12/2023 16:50

Wow you're getting a pasting for a perfectly reasonable question. I guess people are just grumpy!

I have similar problem only we get more junk in the house. I buy tomes of crisps and then sweet treats to save money when we go to cinema. Then they eat it. This morning they said "can we have a milkshake " and I said yes assuming milk and fruit instead they used more than half a pack of oreos (bought for this purpose) and ice cream (also bought for milk shakes but not in the morning on holiday, more a Saturday night treat). Then they demolished a bag of chocs bought to go to cinema. Then they refused to eat lunch! Parenting fail.

I can't stop my 13yo buying sweets. I'm not willing to curtail his limited pocket money. If he spends up on sweets he will have no money for cinema trips and greggs with his mates!

I'm planning on going lower sugar as a household in the new year.

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 16:51

zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:43

This is true - regular discussions don't achieve much

We have had discussions about height with medics, yes. Thanks

Show quote history

If you have had discussions with medics have they told you that eating sweets on top of (as opposed to instead of) a healthy diet will have any negative impact? If they have, he must be given the advice. If they have not, you must stop linking the two.

Did I read upthread that you discuss his height and the need for a healthy diet etc.? If so, this may be driving anxiety and upset around food by linking it to something he is presumably not thrilled about (height issue).

Many children with diabetes manage their condition/diet well - but actually it is also very common for them to rebel because saying 'no I won't have a biscuit' leads to the thought 'because I am diabetic' which leads to the thought 'it is shit being diabetic' - so it is emotionally less upsetting to just pretend it is fine to eat the biscuit.

I think your son has a lot going on with food, there are a lot of heavy messages in your household and he might just be wanting the whole topic to go away.

But given the involvement of medics, I would want their advice.

TheMarzipanDildoWithTinselDisguise · 30/12/2023 16:53

I think people are asking about height because they might be able to reassure you. 12 year olds vary a lot in height because some have started puberty and some haven’t.

Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:54

SutWytTi · 30/12/2023 16:51

If you have had discussions with medics have they told you that eating sweets on top of (as opposed to instead of) a healthy diet will have any negative impact? If they have, he must be given the advice. If they have not, you must stop linking the two.

Did I read upthread that you discuss his height and the need for a healthy diet etc.? If so, this may be driving anxiety and upset around food by linking it to something he is presumably not thrilled about (height issue).

Many children with diabetes manage their condition/diet well - but actually it is also very common for them to rebel because saying 'no I won't have a biscuit' leads to the thought 'because I am diabetic' which leads to the thought 'it is shit being diabetic' - so it is emotionally less upsetting to just pretend it is fine to eat the biscuit.

I think your son has a lot going on with food, there are a lot of heavy messages in your household and he might just be wanting the whole topic to go away.

But given the involvement of medics, I would want their advice.

Show quote history

😅

OP posts:
macaronicheezepleeze · 30/12/2023 16:56

Every young lad I've known that's gone mad on the junk about his age grows out of it. They hit about 15/16 and start getting into fitness and appearance when they take a stretch and start noticing girls.

Original poster
zeroherozero · 30/12/2023 16:57

I think there's probably a mix of people want to reassure me about height - but also possibly a slight ghoulish curiosity (as in, tell us, how tall is he!).

I don't need a massive discussion about it, but thank you all. I don't need advice on how to deal with this element - but again, thanks. It was a throwaway comment, and I shouldn't have said it, as it's deviated from the main issue.

OP posts: