Would you find this relationship ok. Age difference

[Hellofromtheothersideee]

Male-24 years old
female-almost 31 years old.

I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's more to do with how they treat each other.

I think it’s unusual for age gaps larger than 5 years until the youngest person is into their 30s. Therefore no*

No problem. I was in a relationship with a 23 year old when I was 29. It was really very equal emotionally.

'OK' according to what?

Any relationship is 'ok' if the 2 people in it are happy with it. Why would anybody else have any idea about it?

It's like 'My partner eats carrots. Is this ok?'
There are no rules or guidelines about stuff like this, and other people's opinions don't matter.

Are both people in the relationship ok with it?

It’s not even unusual. I don’t know why anyone would question it really.

I'm a 31f and couldn't see myself with a guy that young personally but no, it's not an inappropriate age gap

Not generally.

I think at these ages it would depend massively on what stage of life they are at though.

For example, if the 31 year old has kids - I'd say it has less potential to work long term than if both people didn't have kids, or if both did. Are they both on a similar level playing field career/house wise too? If one has a decent career, mortgage etc and the other one hasn't long left uni and is still living with parents or renting with friends etc, that would also be a factor.

Of course this could be a factor in any age gaps, I just think 20s and 30s has more potential for big differences than perhaps 40s and 50s etc.

Perfectly fine. Notwithstanding any other issues

At that age I'd have never have gone for someone so much younger, it feels like it's more obvious at that age.

Things that I would consider if in the same situation.

1. Where are you both career wise
2. Disposable income.
3. Who lives where - housing situation.
4. Shared interests, life experiences.
5. Where the relationship might go long-term, who wants what from it , possible children etc.

I'm sure there are also other potential pitfalls but you are two individuals who both bring different things to a relationship ( as with every relationship ) so only you know if it could work.

Why do you care if other people think it's ok or not? If a bunch of randoms off the internet tell you they think it's not ok, would you end it? Do you, no-one else matters

Is it OK? Yes.
I'd probably raise my eyebrows, but more out of surprise than in a judgey way.

There will be exceptions, but I think at 24, men and women are in quite different levels of maturity.

I think a 24m is at the same maturity as a 20-21f. And a 31f is more like a 34m. So the difference in maturity is far greater than the physical age difference. Essentially he's at the place she was nearly a decade ago.

When I was 28, I dated a 41yr old and we were very compatible, you didn't notice the age diff at all. I am now 41 and to reverse it, the idea of a 28y old man as a partner would be inconceivable. We'd have nothing in common. I look at how he behaved and would cringe at me behaving like that now. It helped that he looked young and not like a sore thumb in a late twenties crowd, but I would absolutely have no interest in doing the things now, that I was doing at 28.

I wouldn’t say I don’t think it is ok, as in it isn’t something that I would raise eyebrows at. But I think there is potential for problems in life plans not being aligned.

It’s not too bad but I think the 20s is an age where you are still discovering who you are, under 25 the prefrontal cortex hasn’t wired up yet so I still consider that young adult. Easy to judge looking in though op.

Is it OK, yes. Will it last, possibly not.

NC as specifics could identify me along with posts on usual username.
I'm mid-thirties and my partner and I have a bigger age gap than the one in the OP (I'm older). We have 2 kids, now living in the second house we have bought together. Also had a couple of "nothing wrong with it but you know it won't last" comments at first.
My ex before him was a year older than me, and the most horrible man-baby I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. Abusive, regular tantrums (and yes, I mean lying on the floor kicking and screaming) and incapable of looking after himself properly.
I've definitely learned that age (assuming all legal of course), is not the deciding factor.

I think that kind of age gap is absolutely fine at those ages.

God forbid anyone be " unusual " 🙄

Ridiculous narrow minded attitude

Your brain is only fully developed at 25. That is fact. I am under 25 so if anything I am slighting myself here. There are so many people out there I don’t know why most folks can’t find someone they connect enough with that is somewhat close to their own age.

Depends on the people I guess. DSS is 25 and lives at home with us. He's very immature. Has no idea of how to run a home, how real life finances work, organise bills, clean a house, cook, food shop etc. He comes home from work and plays and shouts on his PC with mates all night. I can't imagine a 31 year old woman being attracted to that.
Obviously not all 20 somethings are like that so depends on the person.

How can anyone judge this based on 2 numbers without knowing their personalities. Are they similar stages in their life? Similar level of maturity?

Yes, of course.

Certainly unusual and it is definitely reasonable to be wary (I am 31 and can’t think of anything I would have in common with a 24yo) HOWEVER my SIL was 32 and my brother 24 when they met. We all found it a bit odd and assumed it would fizzle out but went along with it anyway…and they’ve been married for 6 years!

Are you serious, that’s no age difference??