What to do about DDog as a single parent when adult children move out?

[floweryshoes]

My adult DD has been saving for a house deposit and is hoping to start looking seriously for a property in the new year. I am a single parent and don't have any family support. We have a labrador who is pretty hyper and requires quite a lot of attention. Due to changing circumstances I am unsure whether I will be able to commit to looking after him myself once DD moves out. It's not practical for DD to take him either as she works full time and volunteers as well as her social life and figuring out being a homeowner.

I don't want to have to give him up as he is a lovely good-natured dog and it's not his fault, however I don't know what else I will be able to do. I don't have spare funds for a dog walker etc. Any suggestions please?

It is not patronising to say that if you take on a living, sentient being, whether a dog or a child, then you f*ing step up and take responsibility. There are now at least two adults, both in employment here, who committed to a dog FOR LIFE - not until it was inconvenient. The OPs "facts" are the not immutable. They are the "facts" they are choosing to give importance to. They are able to choose different priorities. The actual fact is that they aren't willing to do so. It seems that the life they want and they things they want are more important than a life that had no choice in any of this.

FWWIW, about 20 years ago i was made redundant. I had rent to pay, bills to pay, and believe it or not, I had things that I just wanted. But I also had a working dog who depended on me. I went without meals and heating for 3 months to ensure that he had food. No I didn't starve or freeze. But I went without essentials to share with a member of my family. Yes, he was a dog. My (current) assistance dog is also a dog. But I am responsible for them. And I won't EVER be posting about how to get rid of them because they are no longer "convenient".

If you think that it is patronising to think that people don't have a responsibility for the living and sentient creatures that they decide to take on, then that says so much about you that I wouldn't want to know you, wouldn't want your "respect", and wouldn't think your opinion worth having.

you will just have to start figuring out how to manage. Plenty of single people have dogs.

It's not practical for DD to take him either as she works full time and volunteers as well as her social life and figuring out being a homeowner.
Volunteering is unpaid work. She can give that up and "volunteer" to walk the dog. Problem solved.

If I did that to my beloved family dog my children would never forgive me. Not that I would. I pay for a dog Walker.

You've jumped straight past the part where I've said that I don't agree with op's post, and gone straight to martyrdom! 🙄 You have so much anger there I don't even know where to start. I agree with you completely on all counts, and I'm duly impressed you went to such lengths for your pet - is that enough of the praise you required for your actions?
If you read back and perhaps process my previous statements more fully you may perhaps glean that I was referring to being patronised by those who felt the need to explain to me that an animal is not just a whim, or a momentary indulgence, and must be looked after for life. I never once disputed that, and in fact wholeheartedly agree with you. I was being patronised when you felt the need to spell out something which I know.
The part I simply struggle to process is the just find money statement. What if op was already starving six days a week? Should she then go to seven? Because a dead dog owner is no use to anyone, in particular the dog they own! Without full facts I stand by my comment, that to suggest to anyone (particularly in the current economic climate) that they should just find money is absurd, and simply not always possible.
She might be able to sell her house and buy a tiny flat to fund dogwalkers, but are you really that far gone on the pursuit of sainthood you would rather she do that (giving the dog no at home outdoor space then btw) than admit that perhaps there are instances when it's kinder to surrender an animal to a better home?
People like you are the reason dogs end up getting chucked out of cars and left at the side of roads, because people fear the judgement of surrendering them through the correct channel. And I for one am also sincerely glad I don't know someone so quick to condemn, so perfect and preachy! 👍

Oh FFS. SHE ISN'T STARVING. NEITHER IS HER DAUGHTER.

People like you are why shelters are full of dogs that are no longer convenient. There's always a good excuse to dump the dog because they can't be arsed walking it.

Ignoring you now because this is not about the dog... its about you picking a fight based on no facts.

I’ll admit I haven’t read the full thread but unless there’s a massive back story this is ridiculous. I’ve been a single parent with 3 dogs, 2 cats & multiple poultry whilst working full time and made it work because of priorities. Why are people so quick to try and give pets up?

You also misread the part where I said that I would NEVER ditch an animal which was a pet.
If you actually knew me you'd know I've cleaned up plenty of messes from idiots who got animals and then wanted rid by taking the pets on myself. So I highly doubt I'm the reason at all. Again, know your facts honey!
And I'm guessing I touched a nerve with my closing statement there, so I'll let you off the hook and bid you a good night. 🫡

I adopted a five year old cat in the same circumstances. Give him a chance to have a new home where he will be loved and appreciated.

I hope you don't get jumped on for talking such sense like I have been. You're exactly right! Who would want to live in a home where they aren't wanted anyway? 👍

You follow through with the plan you had when you got the dog.

Because surely to anticipated your older children wouldn’t live at home for the duration of the dogs life?

My god you're talking about a beloved family pet as if it's a bloody houseplant you can just pass on or chuck in the bin. My suggestion is you should have thought about this when you first brought him into the home.

Or is this some sort of emotional blackmail to the daughter i.e. you move out and the dog goes ?

The OP might actually be better off - single person discount on Council Tax, less gas/water/electricity

No didn't misread any of it. I'm not the one making excuses ( that don't exist and never did) for people dumping their dogs.

I'm also not the patronising one, "honey"...

You might not dump a pet (you claim) but you make excuses for people who do for no good reason. Same thing.

It's not about money. The OP works and can't be arsed to walk the dog or look after them. The "suggestion" they asked for is to step up and walk the dog. To take responsibility for the sentient living creature that they decided to bring into their family.

Re-home him, simple.

If he's hyper, he's possibly bored. My lot have very stimulating walks (not in a park) because if they don't get the exercise/stimulation, they can be stir crazy in the house, they're not interested in sedate walks, they like to do everything at 100 mph. I do empathise, I wondered the other day what I'd do if I split up from my DH, who's in much better work situation than me re timings. I think I'd have to give them solely to him.

For someone who claims you don't care what I think you keep coming back to comment. I'm going to call it quits and stop replying to you after this one, as you'll clearly never believe there is ever a justifiable reason to give up an animal, even if it's in the animals best interests. And you will also just continue making it more of a stigma so that people use horrible underhand ways to get rid of their animals. You keep on thinking you aren't the problem sweet, if that's what makes your world right for you! 😘

Didn't read it. Well named id

😁👍