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Original poster

Was it weird of this dad to do this

45 replies

Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:07

We were at a Christmas village/market today with Dd,5. She made friends with another little girl (Dd is very sociable and this happens a lot) This little girl was with her dad and uncle, my Dh was chatting to them a bit, the girls played and I went outside to use my phone and get ready to go (I’m not great at doing small talk with people I don’t know and wanted to go 😅)
The dad came out and said how well the girls were getting on, he said they didn’t live here, but come out for business every month. He asked if I could add him on Fb and gave me his phone to find me and add me so that we could arrange play dates when he was over. I was a bit taken aback, but the girls did seem to get on really well. I added myself and accepted the friend request half an hour ago, he sent me a message asking a few questions, being very friendly etc, is this weird or normal?
Dd has lots of friends and most of her friends mums are my friends, I’m not massively keen on the thought of meeting up with this guy for play dates 😬
Is this a weird situation or am I weird?

OP posts:
Honeyglazed · 29/12/2023 21:09

Weird he didn’t ask you dh when chatting to him

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:10

@Honeyglazed I know, I mean, I barely spoke to him as Dh is far friendlier and happy to chat to new people.

OP posts:
CantFindTheBeat · 29/12/2023 21:10

It's weird.

I'd block,

Dunnoburt · 29/12/2023 21:11

I've actually done this in my local park...... ashamed to say....(not FB but written my name and number down)..... my daughter doesn't click with other kids easily so when she finds someone I'm all for it!.......

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:13

@CantFindTheBeat Weird how though? As in, what could it mean? Tbh the girls did really love one another and had a really nice bond already, so it wasn’t massively shocking
Should he have asked Dh or maybe just assumed I did the majority of play dates as I’m the mum?

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 29/12/2023 21:13

I would have told him no thank you to the fb add.
What sort of questions has he asked?

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 29/12/2023 21:14

I'm guessing his kid struggles to make friends and he wants to seize any opportunity they get. If your kid is up for it I'd go along with it to be honest. Maybe your DH could be the one to do the playdates if he's more comfortable with that.

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:14

@Dunnoburt Yes, I can see how it happens easily, I’ve sometimes chatted to other mums and we’ve said we hope to see each other in that playground again and so on. Sounds ridiculous but it’s probably just because it’s a guy, which is stupid isn’t it

OP posts:
tomatoontoast · 29/12/2023 21:15

Dunnoburt · 29/12/2023 21:11

I've actually done this in my local park...... ashamed to say....(not FB but written my name and number down)..... my daughter doesn't click with other kids easily so when she finds someone I'm all for it!.......

So strange!!

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:16

@ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine Definitely didn’t appear the type that would struggle to make friends, feisty and outgoing little one, a bit like my Dd, dad was very outgoing too…it’s likely just me!

OP posts:
CarrotCake01 · 29/12/2023 21:16

Its hard to tell without having been there but I guess it depends if he's coming across as creepy or inappropriate.

It might fully track that he doesn't have very many friends with children in the area and was really pleased to see his DD make friends so quickly as this doesn't happen for every child.

Personally, I'd give it the benefit of the doubt for now but set some clear boundaries. You're not best friends with the guy and have no need for long, personal stories, you know?!

HVPRN · 29/12/2023 21:19

Not weird at all. Don't read too much into it

CantFindTheBeat · 29/12/2023 21:19

OP

It's weird/odd because his daughter was there with him, he chatted to your husband (not you), and he came outside to ask you specifically to connect with him on Facebook. Why not your DH?

He doesn't live in your area, you know nothing about him, he's said he comes over monthly for work - if he's working, why would he bring his daughter with him?

You've now accepted his friend request and given him access to the photos you share, possibly info about your daughter and your other contacts.

Onceuponaheartache · 29/12/2023 21:20

My dd finds binding with other kids hard. So when she does I do tend to ask if people are local and would possibly ask about staying in touch.

I would generally approach mum though as in my experience it is usually mum who arranges play dates! Sexual stereotype maybe, but generally correct.

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:23

@CantFindTheBeat Not sure why he brings his daughter, he said he was trying to get his wife over too. He said he was able to as his Dd is 4 and not in school yet but that it would change when she’s in school. He seemed a great dad to her tbf…now I’m feeling creeped out, should I now unfriend? Is there a way of me being able to make sure he doesn’t see my pics etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:25

@Onceuponaheartache Yes I wondered if that was the reason, me being the mum and maybe he felt weird doing it with Dh

OP posts:
PaperDoIIs · 29/12/2023 21:25

What did your husband say when you told him? Is it possible he sent the man your way if you're the one that normally arranges playdates?

CantFindTheBeat · 29/12/2023 21:26

You've given a person you don't know at all access to your personal (?) information.

I wouldn't do it but you have so it's up to you.

MILTOBE · 29/12/2023 21:27

I think this is dodgy. Why did he ask you and not your husband? And why bother anyway if he's only there every month?

It's not the same as @Dunnoburt who lives in the same area as the people she's talking to.

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:32

@PaperDoIIs He didn’t send him my way, he didn’t sound overly concerned either way, just laughed when I said I didn’t want to be stuck with someone for a play date and said he can’t go as he’s at work and said not to go if I don’t want to. He Dh’s comment on how well the girls got on though, I mean they really did, which is the thing making me hope it’s not really that weird

OP posts:
LaughingCat · 29/12/2023 21:33

Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:25

@Onceuponaheartache Yes I wondered if that was the reason, me being the mum and maybe he felt weird doing it with Dh

This is what I assumed - it’s a bit misogynistic but culturally, probably a safe bet most of the time. I’d probably be deflecting on the questions though!

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:33

@CantFindTheBeat I don’t have any personal info on my Fb profile, I do have pics though, but these can be seen on my profile pic and cover photo, so could be seen anyway

OP posts:
TeaGinandFags · 29/12/2023 21:34

Take this guy at his word and add DH. No funny business now going on. If he calls make a point of keeping DH informed and let DH reply.

That way DH will be put at ease and new bloke undetstands it only about friendship.

Everyone gets to go away happy.

Original poster
Lovethisweirdpartoftheyear · 29/12/2023 21:35

*He did comment on how well the girls got on

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 29/12/2023 21:37

What questions has he been asking op?

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