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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being in top set at a state school makes a HUGE difference

129 replies

theprincessthepea · 29/12/2023 19:24

To think that you have a better chance of having a successful secondary school experience if you are in top set.

I was catching up with some mums and I asked them how the secondary school experience is going for them so far.

It’s a good school (we didn’t get into our first choice) but they have a huge focus on sports, music and extracurricular aswell as encouraging extra studies.

My DD is in top set, I have found that she has been challenged. She is taking up 2 instruments which she is enjoying. She has joined the drama club and outside of this does gymnastics. She has been chosen to take up Latin and takes up extra duties at the library. She is encouraged by teachers. So are the other 2 friends in top set, their parents are pretty happy with the experience so far. Her form tutor is also very encouraging (e.g. reminding her she can run for things like school council. Said she was bright etc).

However the parents that have their children in the lower sets (mid to low) felt that the school didn’t encourage their children at all. Were not happy with the experience. Didn’t feel that the school were pushing their children. Most of these parents ensured their children were involved in at least 1 extracurricular activity, both at school and outside school.

Personally I went through state school education - was in second set and found the experience OK compared to friends that were in top set.

AIBU for believing that to make the most of a state school or get an education that is close to what people pay for in private school - you have to be in top set classes.

OP posts:
x2boys · 01/01/2024 10:51

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 01/01/2024 10:42

What does she do that she's not good at though? Coping with not always being at the top is really important too.

The pp.has already said she was being sarcastic.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 01/01/2024 11:01

x2boys · 01/01/2024 10:51

The pp.has already said she was being sarcastic.

Oh, sorry, I must have missed that (I did read through most of thread but not all).
I don't understand the need to be sarcastic but hey ho.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 01/01/2024 11:02

Tacotortoise · 29/12/2023 23:45

Being in the top set does make a huge difference. After 6 years of boredom learning at a snail's pace in primary you can really engage with the curriculum and re-engage with learning again. Things move quicker, there's more and better discussion and far less bullying for participation. Behaviour is also largely better and you get to focus on your work, not the teacher trying to control the class.

This isn't always the case.
Also being clever doesn't always mean being interested.

Newyearnewme40 · 01/01/2024 11:18

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

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