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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not pick him up from station?!

37 replies

choochou · 29/12/2023 18:41

NC as insanely outing!

So my BF lives and comes from a village on the continent near a city where there's the Eurostar. He's coming to visit me. I live in brighton and last time I got the train to St pancras to collect him but this time I just can't be bothered to do 3 hours round trip on a train!!

Am I being a total bitch?

In case its relevant he is early 40s, we lived together for 7 years before splitting geographically and he speaks no english

OP posts:
Torchdino · 29/12/2023 18:42

Meet him at Brighton Station!

youwouldthink · 29/12/2023 18:43

My DD19 managed to navigate her way through Europe last summer by train. He'll be fine!

Daisies12 · 29/12/2023 18:44

given he speaks no English, can he comfortably buy a train ticket and catch the correct train from St Pancras to Brighton? If so, I’d just meet him at Brighton station

Original poster
choochou · 29/12/2023 18:44

I just feel its really sad to arrive at this international station and then trog along on your own onto a regional train, but the thing is I've already been here there and bloody everywhere this month getting to see everyone and cannot fucking face that train again so soon!

OP posts:
KnowledgeableMomma · 29/12/2023 18:45

He is still your BF, yes? Presumably, you still like him? And this is a date you know/arranged he was coming? Go get him.

Boomboom22 · 29/12/2023 18:47

If he's done the connection before just meet him at Brighton Station surely. Unless you're planning on going out in London while you are there it seems a waste of money and time to meet him at St Pancras tbh.

Deathbyfluffy · 29/12/2023 18:47

I'm sure he’s thrilled you’re putting in so much effort.
Seems a bit mean spirited, especially at this time of year - it’s only 3 hours out of your day for goodness sake.

cestlavielife · 29/12/2023 18:48

He can learn a few phrases? Work out google maps? It s very easy st pancras change to thameslink train to brighton
He is a grown man he can do the journey himself
Does he have a smart phone?

MintJulia · 29/12/2023 18:49

Can you make something of a trip into central London? See a show, have a meal, stay overnight?

If not, I'd offer to collect him and his luggage from the nearest train station to your house.

Anotherdayanotherdollar · 29/12/2023 18:50

Your BF is your boyfriend yeah?? Do you not want to see him??

spanishviola · 29/12/2023 18:50

Lots of people manage to navigate the trains without speaking English. People will help and he's done it before.

SecondUsername4me · 29/12/2023 18:51

Does he come meet you when you go to him?

PuttingDownRoots · 29/12/2023 18:51

Is that still just catching the Thames link from St Pancras? Or dies he need to change somewhere?

An adult should be able to navigate a straightforward journey independently

LlynTegid · 29/12/2023 18:52

You are allowed out of Brighton wearing a Dry Robe, it is permitted!!

PamelaParis · 29/12/2023 18:52

I'd just meet him in Brighton, he'll be fine since he's presumably an adult with a smartphone.

olympicsrock · 29/12/2023 18:52

He can make his own way to brighton

Original poster
choochou · 29/12/2023 18:52

SecondUsername4me · 29/12/2023 18:51

Does he come meet you when you go to him?

No normally I take the regional train at the other end

OP posts:
Original poster
choochou · 29/12/2023 18:53

PuttingDownRoots · 29/12/2023 18:51

Is that still just catching the Thames link from St Pancras? Or dies he need to change somewhere?

An adult should be able to navigate a straightforward journey independently

That's right it will just be that train straight down!

OP posts:
Original poster
choochou · 29/12/2023 18:54

I did think maybe we could stay one night in London so I could actually show him a few things, he's never actually been to London before. However we are both broke

OP posts:
Original poster
choochou · 29/12/2023 18:56

I think I might send him home alone, but go to London and we can stay overnight there so I can show him some (free?!) sights. We can afford a cheap hotel

OP posts:
sunshinesupermum · 29/12/2023 18:56

My DP and other always still meet each other off Eurostar when either of us travels. His home is in Paris and mine south London (an hour each way by train and tube to St Pancras). We've been doing this for 15 years.
You are being VVU OP.

Ponderingwindow · 29/12/2023 18:57

You pick him up when his simple journey ends, you don’t meet him mid-journey. Pick him up at the Brighton station so he doesn’t have to get a cab.

Onelifeonly · 29/12/2023 18:58

It's not a difficult journey- just tell him in his language how / where to get the train and send over the train times. Then meet him at Brighton station. Three hours is a lot just to sit on the train with him for less than half that, when he is, presumably, travelling to spend time with you anyway. Not to mention a waste of the train fare. He's a grown man, not a teenager who had never travelled before.

Growlybear83 · 29/12/2023 19:01

Unless you want to give your boyfriend the impression that you're not bothered about seeing him, then I think you are being very mean and inconsiderate not going to meet him at St Pancras.

ActDottie · 29/12/2023 19:03

I’d go meet him at St Pancras because I’d be super excited to see him and an extra three hours travelling on the train with him I’d see as time together.

I used to get the train part way to meet my bf (now husband) when I was at uni because I’d get so excited about seeing him. Or I’d get the bus right to his work so I could meet him as soon as he finished. Are you not excited about seeing him?