AIBU not to include art supplies in budget for birthday presents.

[Cocomelon2581]

We have always had a budget for birthdays DD aged 10 for the last 3 years has chosen new art supplies for her birthday, her birthday is so close to Xmas that it means by the next year she is running low on things. She loves art and isn’t physically able to do things like sport hobbies etc so art is her thing. The only issue is that the supplies can be expensive so fancy paper / fancy pens / sketching books and comes to a good few hundreds pounds.
this year she would like a drawing tablet( to try graphic drawings ) or a phone - which is not a bad idea due to circumstances. She keeps going back and forward between this and her art supplies - previous years she DP would be against buying her anything additional and that art supplies is a want not a need.
so it should come out of gift budget.
I feel bad that every year she opens pretty much the same stuff so that she can continue her art. DP is no longer around.
her birthday is approaching and I have gone through all her art supplies and they are in defo need of a stock up

is it unreasonable to make her have a skill / hobby supply top up every birthday and not be able to get get anything else ?
or should I now move that to a “ need “ budget.

if your kids have hobbies - do you purchase their stuff for birthdays and Xmas or throughout the year Separately ?
seems a daft but I suppose the argument had gone on for so long 🙈

Yes treat it like you would a hobby such as horseriding, gymnastics etc fees and get a different present. Especially without a controlling DP insisting!

My son gets a new football strip for birthday or Xmas, he's almost 6 so I guess that's hobby stuff. He gets new trainers when he needs them or sports socks/water bottle etc. For your daughter if you can afford it I'd top up everyday supplies as necessary and make it nice outings to get them and for her Xmas and birthday if you can afford it get the bigger items, tablet, phone etc. it doesn't sound like it would leave her spoilt and not does it sound like it'd leave you struggling so I say go for it.

It depends. My kids like football and rugby. I buy kit and boots through the year as they need but if they want specific expensive boots (eg nike) I make them wait for Christmas or birthdays. So I do contribute to the hobby but "special" extras I get out of birthday and Christmas budgets

Does she get pocket money?

If you can afford it, basic supplies can be a regular thing. I sometimes buy a specific colour of paint for example.

I pay for my kids swimming/ gymnastics lessons every month, I class art supplies as the same kind of thing. I will normally pick up as and when they need them ( so I guess it's never a massive bill)... Something fancy/ expensive like a tablet would be a gift but paper and pens more of a necessity.

Yeh I see it that she is self teaching and she attends 0 clubs Because can’t. So maybe putting a budget that would spend on sending her to a club and using that as like throughout the year supplies.

For our kids we pay weekly for hobbies and this involves classes and kit for the activity. They both play a musical instrument and do a sport. It hadn't occurred to me to see these as a distinct gift.

My daughter also enjoys art and we supply basic supplies but if she wants anything beyond a standard kit then it is saved up for through pocket money or a special gift. I think it is a need as I want her to develop her skills but we are also complete softies who bought our son a basic smartphone as a need rather than want (anything more fancy or flash would be a Xmas or bday gift).

I would say within reason art supplies is just something that should be freely available in a home to keep children busy and occupied . And definitely if she can't easily access other clubs or activities. If there is something big or very specialised , or a one off then she could perhaps have it as a gift. Maybe she can't always have top notch products routinely though just to use daily though and perhaps pocket money can be added to to help with this if she has pocket money.

Yeh so I’m thinking the graphics tablet - would be a gift despite being linked to art buy her usual supplies not ?

Gosh we buy everything for our kids’ hobbies as a ‘need’

if they need a new hockey stick, rugby boots, swim costume, guitar music book we just buy it. I support and encourage these hobbies and see it all as preferable to them sat on a screen. If they wanted something extra like a top of the range hockey stick then I might tell them it could be for Xmas. But the basic stuff is definite bought as and when needed.

my youngest likes art and if he ran out of pens or paper I’d buy more. I see stuff for fulfilling hobbies as more in the need than want category.

@Doingmybest12 I think this was the issue - she had grown out of like basic kids art supplies along time ago.
so they can be a bit pricey.
the house is always filled with basic paints / crayola pens etc

I’d say the normal art supplies are all a ‘need’ and should be bought as and when. A graphic tablet can be a gift.

That sounds more like a hobby than birthday present stuff to me. So the supplies wouldn’t form part of the present. But a graphics tablet would.

age dependant and budget allowing I wouldn’t have either/or tablet/phone

it Sounds like she’ll need a phone for keeping in touch with you, so again this is a necessity not a gift.

Thanks ! It’s hard to think for yourself after so long of bickering.

Do you really have to spend 'a good few hundred pounds' on fancy paper and pens?

I'd top her up throughout the year but I wouldn't be spending hundreds on it unless it was a birthday/Christmas.

We do a bit of both, I buy basic art supplies for dd, she spends some of her pocket money on them too and we get special or expensive bits as presents as well. It's not really fair for her never to get other presents because she enjoys art, especially if it's her only real hobby.

I guess what is basic begins to change with age and ability, so what's average for a 6 year old is different for a 11 year old. You will have to decide on a budget and talk to her about choices within that.

Agree; does she necessarily need top of line products for daily use?

To me, they're not a "need", which would be food, basic clothing, shelter, hygiene, but that doesn't mean you can buy them as they're needed, especially if you can afford it. Do what feels right to you. A nice art supply or tablet used for art can be a gift, but if she's running low on things that she uses thoughtfully (not wasting or running through it an an unreasonable pace), I'd replace that when I could, just as I don't "need" chocolate, but I buy it fairly regularly because it brings me joy.

@WhateverMate I mean I wish I could work out away haha
it’s hard - she is very talented ( this is not a brag she struggles with every other thing and is not academic / sporty ) but art is her absolute gift.
we even have stalls at anime conventions etc and she sells loads ( for charity ) the pens and supplies she has are for her level of art if that makes sense.

I should add she doesn’t have like the top range - like copic pens as much as she wishes 🤣 but more like newton

I think children being occupied and having opportunities to develop skills is a need.

If she was able to the sports or whatever, then you’d be paying a monthly membership fee and I’m sure your partner would have seen that as a normal children’s expense, not the birthday gift for the year. But because her hobby is art, she is only allowed to get those things on her birthday? And then doesn’t get any other birthday things?

It’s unfair, and perpetuates the idea that sort is worthwhile but the arts are not. Her art supplies are her hobby and should be bought when she needs them, not once a year on her birthday.

DD is into art. Her drawing tablets (she's on her second) were presents at birthday or Christmas, as were some other bits of kit, like her easel or some brushes. But paints, charcoal, pencils, paper etc we buy through the year as required. Not sure how old your DD is, but mine is now 17, and so for the last few years these have been necessary for her schoolwork.

She has a disability op? Do you get DLA? Personally I'd be getting her art supplies inc a drawing tablet out of that if you can.