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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think they should have sent the email?

28 replies

888hhh · 28/12/2023 15:59

I'm working with someone on a project together. We need to email a client as soon as possible. I've drafted an email and questionnaire for the client, which my partner has reviewed and agreed on (I emphasised that they could add or alter anything they wanted to, but they were dilly dallying a bit with drafting something so I ended up drafting it all).

I asked that if once they're happy with the email and questionnaire if they could email it to the client today, as I'm on annual leave. I said if they couldn't get round to it then I'll email it tomorrow once I'm back. I've just checked my work Teams messages and they've replied to my message saying that tomorrow is fine for me to send it, without making any attempt or effort to send the email themselves today. AIBU to think they should have just sent it?

OP posts:

Topofthemountain · 28/12/2023 16:01

Well you did say that you would send it.

Whataretheodds · 28/12/2023 16:03

You literally said that you would do it.

SutWytTi · 28/12/2023 16:03

You were too vague, so you left that door open.

Pippa12 · 28/12/2023 16:04

But you said you would send it?

Catsknowbest · 28/12/2023 16:06

You specifically said you would send it though...? Don't understand the issue at all

fancydays · 28/12/2023 16:07

You wrote the whole thing and offered to send it when you're back. Why would they choose to send something in their name which they contributed so little to? They probably thought all you wanted was someone to check it, which they did. So yes YABU.

Lifeasiknowitisout · 28/12/2023 16:07

Possible they feel that you keep asking them to do tasks that you could do yourself. You made the offer to get it send it in the timeline needed so pushing it back to you.

Or they are just taking you up on the offer.

You asked them to do one of 2 things. Send it, or leave it to you to send. They took the second option.

Original poster

888hhh · 28/12/2023 16:13

Sorry I may not have been clear enough in the OP. I did ask them to send the email, and emphasised that we need it to the client as soon as possible. They have form for avoiding things at work, and avoiding sending emails which is why I think I wrote 'if not, I'll do it tomorrow' but I did emphasise that it needs to go today (it should have gone last week before Christmas ideally but they were ignoring my Teams messages)

OP posts:

Lemsipper · 28/12/2023 16:23

I can’t believe these replies. Did you not read the OP? It was perfectly clear to me that she wanted it ideally sent asap and only on the chance they couldn’t get round to it then she would do it. But they didn’t even appear to make any effort to get it done.

OP they sound like a lazy sod, perhaps next time don’t give them the opportunity for a lazy option. This is why im self employed because I can’t be working with crappy people.

Lemsipper · 28/12/2023 16:26

Did you not read the OP? They are partners on this task TOGETHER and it needs to be sent asap so it should be sent by the partner not OP. Also OP probably wouldn’t need to send such prompts if the partner actually had an initiative and didn’t need babysitting for basic level 1 thoughts

IMustDoMoreExercise · 28/12/2023 16:27

They seem lazy and workshy. I feel sorry for you.

fancydays · 28/12/2023 16:28

@888hhh I would look at the message you sent them and next time don't give them the offer of you sending it if you wanted it to go asap. You should have worded it that you'd appreciate their thoughts and any editing they see fit and once they've had a look to send it onto the client without delay as it's urgent.

JimnJoyce · 28/12/2023 16:30

@888hhh are you and the partner you mentioned. the same level at work?

Lifeasiknowitisout · 28/12/2023 16:33

Lemsipper · 28/12/2023 16:23

OP they sound like a lazy sod, perhaps next time don’t give them the opportunity for a lazy option. This is why im self employed because I can’t be working with crappy people.

No it was really clear it could be sent when she got back. Because op said ‘I can send it when I get back’

If it couldn’t be sent when Op got back, they shouldn’t have included ‘I can email it when I get back’.

If it needed go before Op got back, then the offer should never have been made. Op muddied the waters and they took an option op made available to them.

There was no need to add ‘I can do it when I get back’. You gave the additional option. If it needed to go that day you should have just put ‘this needs to go today so can you email it to the client once you have checked it’

Why give someone an option of 2 actions when you only wanted them to do one?

Lifeasiknowitisout · 28/12/2023 16:34

888hhh · 28/12/2023 16:13

They why not just say

’this really needs to go today, so please send to the client’

Ourshoddyhouse · 28/12/2023 16:34

Hi colleague
Can you please make sure the email is sent on the 27th.
Thanks
888hhh

HelpMeGetThrough · 28/12/2023 16:34

The first few replies have baffled me, the OP was clear.

I wouldn't have given the option of if they didn't get round to it. I would have instructed that they make sure it's sent as a priority and to ensure the email is sent by X time, copying me in, BCC if you don't want to show on the trail.

TooMuchPinkyPonkJuice · 28/12/2023 16:35

I think the “if not I’ll do it tomorrow” leaves the door open for CFuckery. When you’re working with someone who’s workshy like this you need to state what you want, when you want it and not leave any room for weaselling and making out like they didn’t have the capacity to do a 5 minute job.

“Please review, add / alter where appropriate and send to the client by 5pm with me CCd in” you then follow up if no cc email.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 28/12/2023 16:36

You shouldn’t have said ‘if not, I’ll do it tomorrow’ if you weren’t happy to do it tomorrow!

Milkand2sugarsplease · 28/12/2023 16:42

If it needed to go today you should have left out the bit about you sending it tomorrow.

And there is the possibility that they didn't have chance to do it today and have taken your offer of doing it tomorrow rather than just not bothering to do it today because you offered.... there's also the possibility they're work shy and jumped at your offer of doing it tomorrow too.

If tomorrow's not an option, don't make it an option.

ginasevern · 28/12/2023 16:45

Sounds like your partner is letting you take the strain. You clearly implied that the client needed to be emailed as soon as possible and presumably your colleague knew this anyway if they are equal in the project.

quietlyplease · 28/12/2023 16:46

"if they couldn't get round to it" doesn't convey urgency.

Given they have form for slacking I think you need to be more direct and not give an "out" otherwise you're not going to be able to go to management with the issue.

compactopera · 28/12/2023 16:46

Next time, don't offer to send it.

Based on the replies here, they may also only have registered you offering to send it yourself.

lljkk · 28/12/2023 16:55

OP is a control freak has high standards & colleague wants OP to be 100% satisfied .... whenever someone presses send? Then OP can't moan at colleague that the email had any problems that colleague didn't spot.

That's the other interpretation of this story.

Original poster

888hhh · 28/12/2023 17:21

I think I only added that I would send it if not because I didn't want to come across as bossy/controlling. We're both equals at work, and I've never worked with them on a project before and didn't want to come across like I was taking the lead/micromanaging and telling them what to do.

OP posts:

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