To have snapped at BIL

[RosesSmellLikePoo]

Went to MIL’s Boxing Day for family get together. BIL was playing practical jokes on people and at one point did something to MIL and then ran up to me and started “hiding” behind me but he grabbed my jumper on my back and was pulling me around like a human shield. This was a new jumper, first time I’d worn it and he was stretching it and pulling me around. I’m claustrophobic and absolutely hate being pushed and pulled around - everyone was laughing so I tried to remain civil - smiled and just shrugged him off but I was getting so irritated. He moved onto someone else but 5 minutes later I was coming out of the kitchen with a drink and he was “hiding” from someone else - grabbed me and tried to pull me in front of him. This caused me to stumble against the door frame, I caught my elbow on the door handle and spilt some of my drink. I lost it and snapped at him “will you stop knocking me and pulling me around?!”. SIL heard and raised an eyebrow at me, BIL apologised and said “sorry, was just playing with the kids” then I realised it was the kids he was “hiding” from. Kids looked at me all worried as if they were all in trouble 🤦‍♀️ I felt so guilty so laughed and said “no I know you didn’t mean any harm, I just don’t like being pushed about, what have you done to the kids?” And laughed again. BIL said “it’s ok” and walked off. Everyone was really funny with me after that and I felt like shit and just wanted to go home. WIBU to have snapped? I don’t like being touched, I especially don’t like being pushed and pulled around!!

I have a comedian in the family op, someone who everyone thinks is hilarious….but no one more than his 47 year old self.

I have no idea why these people are allowed to get away with, what is, appallingly behaviour.

I have a sense of humour …pop a bit of Father Ted on, and I’m loving life. But this over the top, bad behaviour coming from adults in the guise of hilarity is just annoying.

Our comedian is disgusting. Does gross things like wipe boogers into people . Makes a lot of noise. And his gift for mum this year was a personally designed King Charles driving race cars umbrella, which everyone (apart from me) was literally crying over, thinking that this was the ultimate.

Im past caring about looking like a humbug. I can’t be arsed to fake laugh. I’m openly called the miserable one and I suspect it’s clear these days, that I’m counting down the minutes until I go home.

So I say, don’t worry about it! Embrace being the only person who isn’t a complete twit and forget not pandering to this oh so funny crap, that left you with a knocked elbow, stretched top and spilled drink…soooooo funny.

Ah see this is my family. My mam describes us all as a bunch of overgrown kids. On boxing we were all playing with the kids new NERF guns and it turned into a battle between me, DS, my brother, sister and nephew.
However, no one was shot who wasn't in the game, while I did use my nephew as a human shield, no one other than us was forced to participate in the game.

I do think it's fun to be playful like that but only if everyone involved opts in to the game. You clearly hadnt so I don't think he should have involved you, but I can also see how it turned the mood sour when you told him off. I think you should have said something the first time he grabbed you.

@LizzieSiddal this is so OTT.

it has nothing to do with her being a female. He was larking about, not attacking her.

@RosesSmellLikePoo I'd have told him to STOP IT the first time. I get hurt very easily & hate being ragged about like that because it genuinely hurts (when it wouldn't hurt others). He's 24, plenty old enough to know not to pull people around like that.

I don’t think you overreacted but I think you should have said something on the first instance, a simple “please don’t touch me” could have had this second occurrence avoided. But you can’t changeh the past, the days over and now BIL will probably never use you as a human shield again, try not to dwell on it which I know is easier said than done.

Hopefully this will be an investment for the future. If you have now gained a reputation for being 'uptight' or however he wants to see it, perhaps he'll stay away.

Out of interest, are the other men ever props in his games? Does he hide behind his brother/dad and pull at his clothes?

Why can't this grown man realise it's not ok to manhandle people randomly?

The first time he did it he was 'hiding' from OP's MIL. No children involved. The second time OP had been out of the room. Is she supposed to be psychic?

BIL isn't a prankster, he's a bully.

If you think she over reacted you'd be appalled at what I'd have said to him

Utter prat, I hate that kind of messing, and I also hate being touched or pulled at. I'd have absolutely fucked him out of it from a height and probably never been invited back.