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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re-gifting... To the extreme?

46 replies

Slinky89 · 27/12/2023 22:18

I want to preface this by saying - I am extremely grateful for any presents received! .

That said....

I bought my niece a present for her birthday in March this year. A nice stacking toy with wooden animals. My SIL sent me a video of her playing with it saying it's a hit! Wonderful.

Fast forward to Christmas... Opening gift from SIL and brother to our one year old. That's familiar... I've seen it before .... It's the EXACT stacking toy we gave them only 9 months ago!! Box not sealed. It's not from a big company, not something you'd happen to inadvertently buy again without realising. And if you wanted to buy us something similar because you liked it, there are other similar but not identical products that you could buy, IYSWIM.

So basically they've given us back the item we gave them earlier in the year.

I'm ALL for re-gifting - too many toys just sit unused and then eventually chucked ... but surely it should go to somebody else, not the person who gave it to you?!!

I just find it really bizarre and don't know how to even thank them for the gift because I don't know if they know we gave it to them, or if they've forgotten it was from us. Just a bit awkward really.

This is on the back of being given second hand lift the flap books from them as a birthday present with literally ALL the flaps ripped out. I'm fine with second hand books, in fact I've given them as gifts, but only if in very good condition.

And before anyone says - they are well off. Kids in private school, very very large home, etc. it isn't a money thing. But that's not my issue with it either - it's more the weird re-gifting scenario!!

Genuinely interested to hear people's thoughts on this! AIBU to think this is odd and slightly poor form, if they've knowingly given us back the gift we gave them not long ago?!

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 27/12/2023 22:20

Agree with all you say!

misssunshine4040 · 27/12/2023 22:22

Definitely poor form. The books with the flaps ripped out is awful.
I love a bit of regifting but the item needs to be new or in pristine condition or what's the point?! And definitely not gifted back to the person who bought you it in the first place!

MrsMoastyToasty · 27/12/2023 22:23

Gift it back again in March!

AngryBird6122 · 27/12/2023 22:25

defo gift it back again!

AreYouShittingMe · 27/12/2023 22:26

Is it definitely the same toy? When my DC were little, if there was a toy they loved I would often buy the same for my friends DC, especially if it wasn't a well known make. Not sure I would give they identical toy back to the DC of the person who originally gifted it to my DC though

SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 27/12/2023 22:26

I genuinely wonder what’s wrong with people - who gifts a tatty ripped book that’s no longer fit for purpose, let alone re-gifts back a gift that’s clearly individual.

BendingSpoons · 27/12/2023 22:28

If my child had outgrown the toy, I would offer it back if relevant (child right age, still in decent condition). I wouldn't gift it back. I do regift unused presents occasionally (usually duplicates) but am very careful not to gift it to the person it came from. Regifting damaged books is particularly low! I probably wouldn't even pass them on.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 27/12/2023 22:30

They're cheap fuckers, now you know how they are so well off.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 27/12/2023 22:30

Give it back for the next birthday x

Original poster
Slinky89 · 27/12/2023 22:30

Ha!! Yes considered giving it back in March - I wonder if we'd get it again next December 😂

OP posts:
WillowCraft · 27/12/2023 22:31

Books with ripped off flaps go in the bin. I would give a toy back if they had a younger child but not as a present, just as a hand me down. They sound extremely stingy!

Turnthelightoff · 27/12/2023 22:31

If I did a second hand or regift I’d also give the parents some ££ to go in the
children’s bank account or something too since if not actually spent any money on the present. Was there any mention of that?

TheThingIsYeah · 27/12/2023 22:34

Do your SiL and brother squeak when they walk?

Can't stand a tightarse.

VegeBurgers · 27/12/2023 22:36

Slinky89 · 27/12/2023 22:30

Ha!! Yes considered giving it back in March - I wonder if we'd get it again next December 😂

You could keep it going for a long time - update us every year or so for the next twenty years or so!

ImustLearn2Cook · 27/12/2023 22:36

If you still have the photo of their dc playing with it then send it to them thanking them for it and saying it was a hit. Then follow up with Oops wrong photo meant to send this one and send a photo of your dc playing with it.

Kisskiss · 27/12/2023 22:41

Is it definitely the exact toy you gave them ( and returned to you used)? I’ve bought things for my friends’ kids because my toddler loved the same toys..
gifting second hand items as a birthday or Christmas gift seems a bit off especially if they are well off. I’m all for secondhand but only for things I buy my own kid and you might do hand me downs but not for presents, just because you don’t need them anymore and they do!

ActDottie · 27/12/2023 22:42

Yanbu

Im not against regifting but at least remember who originally gifted the item!!

OrigamiOwls · 27/12/2023 22:44

Regifting back to you is poor form!

I'd regift it back to them in march. If questioned I'd say they you'd assumed it was a joke they'd started off gifting it back and forth between you

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 27/12/2023 22:45

Send a message saying

Thanks for getting x that gift for Christmas. Both the kids will have to play with them toys together.

Goodlard · 27/12/2023 22:46

MrsMoastyToasty · 27/12/2023 22:23

Gift it back again in March!

This!! Do it!!

ChristmasEvemaddness · 27/12/2023 22:51

Charity shop gifts you don't want. Don't re gift back to the giver.

We received a gift today that we gave to sil about 15 years ago.

Diggerdriverless · 27/12/2023 22:52

"Thank you so much for the lovely stacking toy for DC. When we bought it for your DC's birthday last March we thought it was beautiful and hoped we'd get our own set eventually."

"PS some of your DC's favourite books got mixed in with the ones you gifted us - been read so often the flaps are ripped off! Will give you them back next time we meet"

FictionalCharacter · 27/12/2023 22:55

This is on the back of being given second hand lift the flap books from them as a birthday present with literally ALL the flaps ripped out
This is even worse than the stacking toy thing, far worse. They essentially gave you a piece of rubbish. I can't imagine what goes through the minds of people who do that.

Katemax82 · 27/12/2023 22:58

My dear old Gmil regifted me a boots giftset I'd given her the year before

GoingDownLikeBHS · 27/12/2023 23:05

ChristmasEvemaddness · 27/12/2023 22:51

Charity shop gifts you don't want. Don't re gift back to the giver.

We received a gift today that we gave to sil about 15 years ago.

She probably thought so much time had passed she was safe to do that now!!