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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do party bags?

41 replies

Communionmom · 27/12/2023 10:41

Every party DD has gone to (she’s turning 7) there have been party bags. Just a pack of crisps, a few sweets and something small to play with like bubbles. She likes getting them.

She’s having her bday party tomorrow (the first time she’s had a party) and I just realised I didn’t think to do party bags and I really don’t want to! I just see them as needless tat and no one needs more bubbles or sweets!

AIBU to just not do them?

OP posts:
Candycurrantbun · 27/12/2023 10:43

So your DD likes getting them but you cba to do them for her friends?

Stompythedinosaur · 27/12/2023 10:43

It's fine not to do them, but they are a handy way to tell the kids it's time to go.

YoBeaches · 27/12/2023 10:44

I do party bags on the basis that they take cake home as we never have time to eat it at the party. So it needs something to go in. But I don't fill with crap just one or two half decent gifts as a Thankyou, often including a balloon they can blow up themselves.

There are no rules, it's whatever works for you. For me it's a practicality.

electriclight · 27/12/2023 10:45

As an adult I'm with you - needless tat.

But as a child I loved them. You say that your dd loves getting them. The children attending will expect them.

So by all means take a stand, break the mould, normalise no party bags. But know that the kids will be disappointed.

It also doesn't sit right that your dd has accepted them at all previous parties but isn't reciprocating.

On balance I think I'd do them but aim for edible gifts or an item that will be well used, reused or recycled.

YoBeaches · 27/12/2023 10:45

Stompythedinosaur · 27/12/2023 10:43

It's fine not to do them, but they are a handy way to tell the kids it's time to go.

Yes this too! Party bags coming out means it's time to go!

Anonomom12 · 27/12/2023 10:46

Kids will expect them and likely cry at not getting one. We do sweet cones instead. Less tat and the kids enjoy them

GotMooMilk · 27/12/2023 10:48

I agree you need to give something at the end or the kids will be disappointed and you don’t want that to be the enduring feeling after your DCs party.

captaincalamari12 · 27/12/2023 10:49

You'll end up with a lot of confused kids at the end of a party who are waiting for their bags before they go. It signals it's time to go home

icouldhavebeensomeone · 27/12/2023 10:49

I can't stand them - DCs get the same tat at every single party. I normally do sweet cones, balloons or books! The Works do 10 books for £10 - can you do something like that? Kiddies do expect them and really look forward to receiving them, I know I also did all those years ago!

CringleXmas · 27/12/2023 10:50

Aw but isn't it a little 'thanks for coming' ?
I think at 7 children will expect something at the end.

shepherdsangeldelight · 27/12/2023 10:52

Agree I think the children will find it confusing not to get a party bag so I would try to rustle something together quickly. It doesn't have to be anything big - just a piece of cake, packet of sweets and a balloon will do.

Comedycook · 27/12/2023 10:54

You need something. Children will look at their parents and loudly ask where the party bags are and mortified parents will shush them and whisper that they shouldn't expect anything....but they do expect something.

plantpotsandbugs · 27/12/2023 10:54

Yeah, you need to do something.

It signals the end of the party, plus it's a shame for the kids if they don't get one.

But I also hate tat. Just a slice of cake plus some sweets or a book or something.

Google for ideas.

Comedycook · 27/12/2023 10:55

Also party bags are an indication it's time to leave

Catza · 27/12/2023 10:57

I never understood the party bags. The event is for the birthday girl/boy so I don't see why guests should receive presents. Doesn't make any sense and we don't do the same for adults attending our parties (or do we?).

Bella37 · 27/12/2023 10:57

If you go to a highstreet sweatshop they may have some sweet cones ready made up, if you have time possibly just grab a few of them. They will be perfect or an independent one will likely do it for you there and then if no time. I know it’s probably annoying rushing around but kids do really enjoy them and the announcement of collection at the party usually means “time to go 😂”. The parents don’t care tho it’s the children.

Original poster
Communionmom · 27/12/2023 11:02

Ok, I kinda knew I was unreasonable. I’ll go get something sorted today.

OP posts:
shepherdsangeldelight · 27/12/2023 11:02

Catza · 27/12/2023 10:57

I never understood the party bags. The event is for the birthday girl/boy so I don't see why guests should receive presents. Doesn't make any sense and we don't do the same for adults attending our parties (or do we?).

Wedding favours are most definitely a thing :)

Pripsen · 27/12/2023 11:05

Yep just get something edible without any plastic tat

PonyPatter44 · 27/12/2023 11:07

A piece of cake and a tub of bubbles is absolutely fine. Reduces the tat quota immensely, especially since its already sky-high at this time of year!

Benibidibici · 27/12/2023 11:11

Just give a piece of cake and a pack of sweets. Ive been to lots of parties who have given a book from a multipack with this & it goes down well.

It doesn't have to be "needless tat". Also who cares if bubbles are needless? They are fun.

I collected all the coloured tubes we received in party bags, washed them and refilled them to put in the bags at DS party.

We never buy pencils and rubbers as we get lots in party bags and all they get used!! We've also had useful notebooks, fancy pens, packs of seeds/seed bombs, hair bobbles, little bottles of nail varnish.

Tinkeytonkoldfruit · 27/12/2023 11:12

Have you got a printer? For a recent Christmas party - I made all the kids a Christmas activity and colouring book on canva, printed it in black and white, hole punch and nice ribbon to tie together, they had that with a rainbow pencil. A cheap and easy gift that's not tat and can be recycled when they're finished with it.

SteadyEddi · 27/12/2023 11:13

It’s usually tat that gets thrown. There will be a collective sigh of relief amongst the parents if you don’t bother or do something low key instead. Basic alternative could be a slice of birthday cake wrapped in a serviette or one thing from a multi bag of sweets (mini Mars bar or what ever)

SteadyEddi · 27/12/2023 11:14

The nicest thing DS got post party was a group photograph of the kids attending with a thankyou message

Sceptre86 · 27/12/2023 11:14

If iys her first friends party I would do something. Posters are right kids have no filter and will ask where theirs is. Even if all you put in is a slice of cake or a cupcake I would do one.