Dh always takes it too far and gets mean

[Phonewontchargeproperly]

All sat cosy on the sofa before, drinking hot chocolate, when Dh finishes, he pushes the cups under the sofa. I hate this as have to regularly reach under to get 3/4 cups and wash them. I say lightheartedly how it makes me cringe and is the height of laziness. First Dh is laughing along, but then starts to say how putting wet plates into the cupboard is the worst thing (he says I do this) and how it’s the laziest thing and rots the cupboard etc (it hasn’t done)
He starts to get really sort of angry and mean about it and the tone changes, so I go upstairs as now feel uncomfortable and crap
Who is in the wrong here?

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288/amp

Print it out and stick it on the fridge.

It’s not about the mugs. It’s about a lack of respect. It’s exactly these kind of things that lead to divorce.

Yup!

No one should be picking up after another adult.

Or kid after a certain age!

When I said being enabled I meant he probably learned this dynamic from his parents as a child and is still functioning in that way. Classic manchild behavior. I didn't mean to sound like you are the enabler, clearly not!

If there's no stable surface within reach it's a way to make sure it doesn't get knocked over, the little drops at the bottom can spill. My kids do this and I stay on them about getting up immediately to put them away instead. It's too easy to forget them there.

What kind of skank leaves mugs under a sofa?

He sounds awful too.

Wait till they grow fur and then cultivate his toothbrush with it.