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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel p'd off with hubby?

30 replies

LorlieS · 26/12/2023 18:59

So literally tonight is the only time in ages we've had the chance of an evening chilling out together. Toddler is actually asleep early, and teenage sons are chilling in their bedrooms.
Suggested to hubby we could watch something together (he's back at work tomorrow until NYE) to which he replied that he wants to watch the footy on his Kindle or phone.
I feel a bit peeved tbh.
AIBU?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 26/12/2023 19:00

He’d be looking at a screen either way.

I don’t see the issue.

Whattodo112222 · 26/12/2023 19:00

I'd be a bit miffed but everyone is entitled to their own space too. Do you really want to sit and watch something knowing you've forced him to?

tryingforbaba · 26/12/2023 19:01

I would say there's no right or wrong here. But I am sorry you're feeling peeved. I would too.

Allow him that time and do something for yourself (read/ magazine/ online sale shopping etc)

I bet he'll end up crawling back to your side of the sofa anyway 🤣

Hoglet70 · 26/12/2023 19:02

Mine is also watching football but he watched The Sound of Music with me last night so I'll let him off. It's Boxing Day though, it's always about sport, I wouldn't let it offend you, it's not a personal thing. I don't think so anyway.

Original poster
LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:02

Guess we are both a bit old for romance at 43 and 48 so suppose I shouldn't mind. Only been married two years but feels more like 40!!! 😄

OP posts:
PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 26/12/2023 19:02

I get that you were trying to make a nice moment for the two of you, however, it is his downtime too so why shouldn’t he be able to watch what he wants to.

Grab some chocolate cuddle up with a film of your own choice!!

MissJoGrant · 26/12/2023 19:03

LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:02

Guess we are both a bit old for romance at 43 and 48 so suppose I shouldn't mind. Only been married two years but feels more like 40!!! 😄

Old for romance? Wtf?

mamacorn1 · 26/12/2023 19:04

I would be annoyed , but my dh would sense this quickly and avert the doghouse by picking a film and slyly checking his phone at intervals 😂

laclochette · 26/12/2023 19:04

I understand feeling a bit peeved but if you haven't discussed this evening together and agreed a plan, it's a classic case of "you had something in your head and they had something else". Given he's back at work for NYE now he probably was looking forward to a bit of personal quiet time before that, so would feel equally upset to have to give up his plans. Next time if your plans involve doing something together, discuss them together...in advance.

FreshWinterMorning · 26/12/2023 19:04

Did you not know he liked football when you married him @LorlieS ???

saltinesandcoffeecups · 26/12/2023 19:05

I find it weird to just stare at a tv no matter what you’re watching when your goal is to spend time with someone.

Arabellla · 26/12/2023 19:06

That’s pretty shit of him. Tell him
to go upstairs so the sound of football doesn’t interrupt your tv watching.

FreshWinterMorning · 26/12/2023 19:06

MissJoGrant · 26/12/2023 19:03

Old for romance? Wtf?

Show quote history

Yep I was like 😆 and then Shock at this. Me and DH are knocking the door of 60 -and are like 21 year olds sometimes. The romance has never died in our marriage! Grin DH (pleasantly) surprises me quite often. (And I do the same to him!)

Original poster
LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:07

@saltinesandcoffeecups We quite enjoy watching the box together. He has a disability so other stuff off the menu a lot of the time, at least in a spontaneous way!

OP posts:
Hoglet70 · 26/12/2023 19:07

mamacorn1 · 26/12/2023 19:04

I would be annoyed , but my dh would sense this quickly and avert the doghouse by picking a film and slyly checking his phone at intervals 😂

Mine will do this, he will sneakily have the football on his iPad.

Original poster
LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:08

@FreshWinterMorning It's not easy with a toddler who rarely sleeps and a hubby with a disability... we try but it's difficult at times.

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 26/12/2023 19:09

LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:07

@saltinesandcoffeecups We quite enjoy watching the box together. He has a disability so other stuff off the menu a lot of the time, at least in a spontaneous way!

Me and my DH spend our together nights chatting. To each their own I guess.

ManateeFair · 26/12/2023 19:10

I don’t really understand why an evening together means you both have to watch the same thing. My DP have plenty of nice evenings together doing different things.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 26/12/2023 19:10

Why is what he wanted unreasonable but what you want isn’t? If my DH wanted to watch a game, I’d take that as a bonus to do what I wanted in peace.

AllAroundMyCat · 26/12/2023 19:11

saltinesandcoffeecups · 26/12/2023 19:05

I find it weird to just stare at a tv no matter what you’re watching when your goal is to spend time with someone.

If both parties are staring at a screen in a rare moment of downtime then I despair.

What's the bloody point then?

Original poster
LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:11

@saltinesandcoffeecups We do chat quite a bit I would say, but sometimes it's nice just to be quiet in each other's company? Could be something to do with having a lively 3 yo?!! 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
LorlieS · 26/12/2023 19:12

@AllAroundMyCat Other suggestions?

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 26/12/2023 19:12

saltinesandcoffeecups · 26/12/2023 19:05

I find it weird to just stare at a tv no matter what you’re watching when your goal is to spend time with someone.

Oh, get over yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with watching a film on TV with someone. Do you also sneer at people who go to the cinema or the theatre together?

Crooklodge · 26/12/2023 19:15

Dh and I are both disabled, one of us usually managed to muddle through. But by fuck, I'd at least expect a cuddle or shag on the sofa. My parents have been here today, had the football on ALL afternoon. Parents just left, time for the dog to be walked and then.... Dh will fall asleep 😂

AllAroundMyCat · 26/12/2023 19:16

Romantic dinner? Shag? Doing something other than screen time together?