To hate being overweight but not do a diet I know will work?

[ChristmasPudding83]

I am 40, 2 children, size 16 (or 16-18 if I’m really honest), 13 to 13 1/2 stone, BMI on the borderline between overweight and obese. I hate the idea I’m obese, I hate the way my body looks, hate photos of myself, hate my clothes feeling tight, hate the added strain on my joints, hate the added weight on my face. But I don’t know how reasonable this is….i know lots of other people this size or bigger that I think look great and my OH claims he finds me attractive at any size. I believe in body positivity and that size doesn’t determine worth….and yet!!!

My weight has fluctuated throughout my adult life, but mostly I’ve been size 12-14 and around 11 stone and I definitely felt better and healthier at that size. I’ve found it harder to shift weight after having the children though and have been sitting around this heavier weight for about a year and a half. I do eat healthily on the whole and cook from scratch most evenings but snack too much/ stress eat/ get takeaways sometimes too and with young kids and a busy and sometimes pressured job I find it hard to eat perfectly.

Previously I’ve managed my weight on many occasions with Weight Watchers - it does ‘work’ for me - on my best run I lost 3 stone (13 stone to 10 stone) but I’ve lost a stone doing it on many, many occasions over the past 15 plus years. I eat quite healthily on it and don’t find it that hard to stick to for a while, but I hate paying money to a company which I feel is fundamentally exploitative. Also I find the level of control needed to stick to it becomes oppressive after a while and it often starts to trigger disordered eating patterns from the past (excessive control, binge eating and binge-purge) though I am usually able to spot the signs and stop in time.

I have always liked exercise and being active - this month I’ve run 25-30 mins every day and I usually run a few times a week, did the London marathon last year, cycle most days, have an active job etc. however while this helps me mental health and fitness it does not lead to weight loss.

What I can’t figure out is what to do next. I really don’t like being this size and as I know WeightWatchers will probably work (at least for a month or two), I suspect it is unreasonable not to just do it for a few months and lose some weight at least.

However the other side of me thinks I should be trying to get out of this toxic dieting cycle and finding another way either to accept my body or lose weight in a way that doesn’t involve such strict food monitoring (but I have never found one that worked)

YABU - suck it up and go on the diet
YANBU - dieting isn’t the answer here (but if so, what is????)

Help! I feel so stuck with this situation and negative feelings and have 4 year old daughter who I really want to be a better role model for :-(

Much like you, tried lots of things but what worked for me was Joe Wicks. Great support network and the food is great - just good healthy eating nothing fancy. Need to go back as a few life calamities got in way but will be back on ot next week.. find HITT really worked to

MFP is free but it’s not excellent, I used it for years. I only wish I’d swapped to Nutracheck sooner, it’s something like £23 a year and well worth the cost. It’s a UK database, hardly ever come across a food that isn’t on there when scanning, and there aren’t 15000 different options every time you search for something. It also doesn’t stick everyone on 1200 calories - unlike MFP - which is what a small child should be eating.

Seems like you really like nutracheck which is fine ofc. A range of perspectives is good.

For reference you can set your own calorie target on MFP, you don't have to stick to 1200.