Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Didn't do DD a stocking

44 replies

MamTiMa · 26/12/2023 10:05

This is loosely light hearted as really no one is upset.
My 2 kids are adults now, they are 24 and 26. This is DDs first year not spending Christmas morning with us other than when she was 18 and travelling, she was at her partners and came over to ours for dinner later.
I decided not to do a stocking for her or her partner, but did last year when they were here for Christmas morning. I just didn't see the point as to me it's a Christmas morning thing.
DD still got lots of presents, ugg slippers, PJs, Aesop set, drinks and some other bits and we spent a fair amount on her partner too. We did do DS and his partner a stocking though.

DD joked it's the worst thing to happen since I stopped sending her advent calendars and DS joked "if we did that to him he'd find the worst care home"

Now it is all jokes and DD doesn't really mind. But for the future should I have done them a stocking even if they aren't here in the morning?
We don't spend lots on stockings so it's not an issue to do it - I just didn't think they'd want it !!

Was I bordering on the worst mam ever to not do DD a stocking? Do you do stockings for people who aren't there in the morning?

(Again this is lighthearted no one is being ungrateful)

OP posts:
BurbageBrook · 26/12/2023 10:06

Of course you're not the worst mum ever but generally I would try to treat both kids the same even as adults so either both get stockings or neither!

mamacorn1 · 26/12/2023 10:08

It’s fine and added to the banter. Anyone who wants a stocking is here for Christmas morning!! That is the rule !! 😂

dementedpixie · 26/12/2023 10:08

We no longer do stockings (kids are 17 and 20). Just don't see the point tbh

CaineRaine · 26/12/2023 10:11

I think it’s sweet your DD still wants one, it’s obviously a childhood tradition she still treasures so I’d keep doing them if it’s not a hassle/inexpensive.

Beenaboutabit · 26/12/2023 10:11

She should get a stocking where she wakes up - it was her DP’s job

commonground · 26/12/2023 10:13

Yes, either none (my preference) or both.

I told young adult dcs, no stockings this year and they both said 'absolutely fine'.

I am hosting 12 for Christmas (all staying) so I think any 'banter' would have tipped me over the edge, tbh.

Whataretheodds · 26/12/2023 10:14

Did she do you a stocking?

Agix · 26/12/2023 10:16

I moved out of my mother's last year, and she didn't get me my choccy advent calendar for this Christmas!! Can you believe it! I still got hers for her as I usually do and dropped it off December 1st 🤣

So you're not the worst mam ever, because mine is 😁

I obviously don't mind my mother not getting me an advent calendar... its just a fun little thing we did whilst we lived together (for the extended period that we did do). Its no big deal, but if she got me one next year it would cause an extra smile. I'll still get her one either way!

I vote do the stocking next year whether theyre there in the morning or not, tell them it's to stop them moaning 🤣

Original poster
MamTiMa · 26/12/2023 10:18

Whataretheodds · 26/12/2023 10:14

Did she do you a stocking?

No but DH did so I still got one ... apparently her partners family don't do stockings so she has gone stockingless - she joked she didn't bring enough socks for the rest of the trip as she was expecting some in her stocking - oopsie?

OP posts:
SadlyACupOfTeaDoesNotSolveEverything · 26/12/2023 10:18

Anyone who wakes up in my house on Christmas morning gets a stocking.

Whataretheodds · 26/12/2023 10:21

MamTiMa · 26/12/2023 10:18

No but DH did so I still got one ... apparently her partners family don't do stockings so she has gone stockingless - she joked she didn't bring enough socks for the rest of the trip as she was expecting some in her stocking - oopsie?

Show quote history

Lol. Your response is to laugh - because she can only be joking. She (and your DS) can't seriously expect you to do them a stocking at 24 and 26.

justalittlesnoel · 26/12/2023 10:23

My mum stopped doing advent calendars for me - I've told her that she's going to be lucky if she gets a care home. Will just ship her off!

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 26/12/2023 10:23

My mum stopped doing a stocking for me when I moved out but still does one for my sister who lives at home. It’s never crossed my mind to have an issue with it. I put stockings together for people in my house but don’t do one for her.

Squiblet · 26/12/2023 10:27

Clearly Santa is to blame, nothing to do with you. That old man has a lot to answer for

MolkosTeenageAngst · 26/12/2023 10:30

I’ll be honest once my parents stopped doing me a stocking in my early 20s I stopped making the effort to go home for Christmas. They were the best bit and Christmas just fell flat without one, I’m not a fan of ‘adult Christmas’ and stockings were the last magical bit I guess. They at least stopped all of my siblings and I’s stockings together though, I’d have been upset if my sibling had got one and I hadn’t.

BringMeMyOodie · 26/12/2023 10:32

My mum always say, "if one gets, you all get" (my siblings and I are 39, 38 and 35) 🤣

WonderingWanda · 26/12/2023 10:35

No it's fine. She's just making a joke out of it but I doubt she's really upset. I am sure she appreciated all the many memories of Christmas morning you have given her over the years.

ClydeBank · 26/12/2023 10:42

My grown up children wd rather have a stocking than a large gift. Even though it’s the same daft stuff every year, they just love it. My mum did a stocking for me every until she died and now my daughter does one for me instead. There’s just something about the stocking tradition we just love. There was a bit of mock outrage yesterday that I forgot to include the satsumas 😆

frami · 26/12/2023 11:06

I do stockings for everyone in the house at Christmas related or not if you are with us for Christmas you get one. DH and I do each other one (even before we had kids) and there are 2 waiting the arrival of my son and his gf later today. There are 6 individual named stockings made by a now deceased aunt and I keep 2 spare stockings for unexpected visitors. All my adult DS love the stockings but my son in law most of all. His family life growing up was less than ideal and he had never had one until he joined ours.

CrapBucket · 26/12/2023 11:12

I think Santa does stockings for adult children if they are staying on Christmas Eve. At this stage it’s more like a bag of groceries tipped into a stocking tbh. Socks, toothpaste, Pringles, Blu tac and so on.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 26/12/2023 11:15

I think doing your DS one but not DD is a bit mean actually.

Brefugee · 26/12/2023 11:15

we all had stockings - DC that stayed over on Christmas eve and DH and I had stockings when we got up, and other DC and partner got theirs when they arrived in the afternoon.

qpalbfy · 26/12/2023 11:18

We're not a stocking family, but my mum always aims to treat us the same. If she was doing one for one, she'd do it for the other. Knowing my mum she'd have sent one for me for the morning if it was a morning tradition.

qpalbfy · 26/12/2023 11:19

(But saying that all quite lighthearted and guessing what my mum would do!)

BrutusMcDogface · 26/12/2023 11:21

MolkosTeenageAngst · 26/12/2023 10:30

I’ll be honest once my parents stopped doing me a stocking in my early 20s I stopped making the effort to go home for Christmas. They were the best bit and Christmas just fell flat without one, I’m not a fan of ‘adult Christmas’ and stockings were the last magical bit I guess. They at least stopped all of my siblings and I’s stockings together though, I’d have been upset if my sibling had got one and I hadn’t.

Are you serious? Can’t work it out on this lighthearted thread.