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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas - I just don’t get it?

146 replies

BasinHaircut · 26/12/2023 09:44

I am 40 years old and I still don’t get why people go mad for Christmas.

Im not talking about religious aspects, and of course kids love the idea of Santa etc, but for everyone else I just don’t get it.

I try really hard every year to get into the spirit but I haven’t yet found something that ignites a spark.

I go through the motions for my son and we have our ‘traditions’ like going to the panto, seeing the lights etc, but I just cannot get excited about any of it.

Is it just me?

OP posts:
Friedtofuandbeans · 26/12/2023 09:46

Not just you - I feel nothing about it at all, and never have. Just sitting about eating, the weather is dreadful, nothing is open. I see my family regularly anyway so have no extra desire to see them on a certain day. No need for presents as I have all I need, as do the children. I’d happily miss it.

CatOnTheLap · 26/12/2023 09:46

No, it’s not just you.

Changingplace · 26/12/2023 09:46

In previous years I have but this yeah I’m just so meh about it all, I could honestly just stay in bed today I can’t be arsed, the in laws are having a ‘do’ on Weds and I just can’t face any more forced socialising I just want to hide, I’m not getting it at all.

Changingplace · 26/12/2023 09:48

To add, I’ve literally just been googling holidays over Christmas for next year and wondering if we can just go away and hide from it all.

RendeersDancingTowardsChristmas · 26/12/2023 09:48

Nope, despite my username, I just see it as a big retail feast.

I do like the days off though and spending time with my family & relaxing as we have otherwise very busy lives.

Catza · 26/12/2023 09:49

It’s hard to get excited if you are running like the blue arse fly from the start of December. We usually have a very simple Christmas meal that takes minimal prep. We skip the presents and just enjoy having time as a family - going on walks, to the movies, cuddling on the sofa with a mug of mulled wine.

Volatileisla · 26/12/2023 09:50

Scheduled mass consumerism.

BeaRF75 · 26/12/2023 09:51

YANBU

BasinHaircut · 26/12/2023 09:51

Oh god @Changingplace yes I’d love to go away and skip the whole thing but I also don’t like the idea of not being part of other people’s Xmas as it means so much to them.

I know that probably sounds mad!

OP posts:
Friedtofuandbeans · 26/12/2023 09:54

We are also planning to go away next year. Cheap flights go somewhere warm and not grey! I don’t care about other people’s expectations anymore - I refuse to live my life like that, just doing what MIL expects. It’s pointless.

betterangels · 26/12/2023 09:54

Nope, not just you. I buy gifts in November which helps me avoid the worst of the shopping chaos and save a little all year to keep to a budget, but I'm never excited about Christmas.

MintJulia · 26/12/2023 09:55

It's simple OP, I work flat out all year. I have a DC, and siblings who are geographically spread.

Christmas is the one time when we all have annual leave at the same time, and we get to spend time together.

The presents and the decorations, and the food are nice trimmings but in the end it comes down to spending quality time with the people I love.

BasinHaircut · 26/12/2023 09:55

@Volatileisla yes I despise the excess, and the waste.

i buy very few gifts nowadays, my son still believes in Santa so we do that although we don’t do piles and piles of stuff, nieces and nephews (most are old enough to just want cash so easy enough) and my parents I’ll usually book to see a show or similar.

OP posts:
CoatOfArms · 26/12/2023 09:57

No it's not just you. I don't get excited about it and as an adult I don't think I ever have. It's just another day of the year, at the time of year which is darkest and with the shittiest weather. I would get much more excited about a lovely sunny day in June.

I am baffled by the people who plan ALL YEAR for it, who start their build up on 1 November and then have a tantrum when things don't go 100% to their idea of a Hallmark christmas. My idea of absolute hell.

Tusktusk · 26/12/2023 09:59

I don’t feel any excitement about it at all but muster it up for the sake of the DC.

I said to DP last night that my ideal Christmas would be just the two of us, away in a cottage by the sea, having aubergine parmigiana and a nice bottle of red, a walk on the beach and exchanging one thoughtful gift each.

I hate the pressure to buy tat for people, the pressure to spend money when money is always tight, the forced socialising, the glut of unhealthy foods that need eating up so I don’t get a decent healthy meal for days and the endless tidying and washing up. I hate the massive piles of presents that my DC leave in the living room for days because they want to see it all at once and still feel like it’s Christmas. I hate secret Santa and work Christmas dos. I hate missing the people I’ve lost and can’t ever see at Christmas again.

I love having a few days off work and getting to see certain family members who live too far away for regular meet ups. I love wintery walks. I could have all that without the other stuff but there’s an expectation.

topnoddy · 26/12/2023 09:59

Volatileisla · 26/12/2023 09:50

Scheduled mass consumerism.

Yep !

We have a stack of Christmas food sitting here unopened , sweets , biscuits , crisps , cake , mince pies etc

I just don't want any of it myself . No idea why it was bought in the first place

BasinHaircut · 26/12/2023 09:59

@MintJulia i totally get that. When it’s about being the only time of year you are all in one place at one time I can understand how special that is.

OP posts:
offuntilnewyear · 26/12/2023 09:59

Christmas to me was buying overpriced gifts and spending money on things I wouldn't normally waste spend my money on, eating luxury foods I know are going to put on the pounds I worked so hard to loose, drinking too much and being woken up by squabbling over exited children on Boxing Day feeling like you're been hit by a bus and then trying to make the house look back like a house while hanging and promising never to touch alcohol again EVER!

ManateeFair · 26/12/2023 10:00

Unless you live under a rock and never speak to anyone, consume media or go on the internet, I’m fairly sure you know already that it isn’t just you. There are a billion threads about this on Mumsnet alone.

Lottapianos · 26/12/2023 10:05

I don't get it either. It's the most overhyped thing ever. I don't understand grown adults going wild over 'the magic', spending actual DAYS decorating their houses outside and inside, buying stuff like Christmas bed linen and Christmas cushions, wearing Christmas jumpers and antlers TO WORK 🙄

Personally I'm sick of hearing about it by mid December - it's shoved down your throat everywhere you turn. I had a nice low key day yesterday but honestly, I really do look forward to January!

BasinHaircut · 26/12/2023 10:05

I must also add that I do not ever remember being excited about it as a child either.

im sure I must have been when very young but other than knowing there would be an only fools and horses special or similar, I don’t remember ever being excited about it at all.

i have fond memories of the Xmas traditions we had as kids but I clearly remember feeling like I should be excited when I wasn’t.

OP posts:
Grinchwithlove · 26/12/2023 10:19

The best xmas i had was when i stopped doing it been years now.
I never liked it.

Gwenhwyfar · 26/12/2023 10:25

Time off work
Time off work at the same time as family and friends
Seeing family and old friends I only see once or twice a year
Carols
Chocolate

I'm not so bothered about presents, but apart from children that's optional. Two people in my immediate family have opted out and that's fine. The excessive consumerism is optional.

It's true that I don't have to cook the dinner, I don't bother decorating and I don't like Christmas markets. I just take the parts I enjoy.

ShufflingAlong · 26/12/2023 10:29

I used to hate it but as I have got older I now make it my own.

Food wise I make sure it's just for a few days so I am not spending a fortune on food and drink. Turkey is cooked night before and we have a roast but as we are not battling with all the timings and oven space it means the effort feels less. Some years we have had steak or had our roast on Christmas Eve so the actual day is just for snacking.

DH and I don't buy presents for each other. We have and buy what we want all year round so just enjoy the time off. No disappointment or stress.

What I am trying to say is that Christmas can be enjoyable but you have to work out what that means for you and don't get sucked into what others think you should be doing.

Mary46 · 26/12/2023 10:37

Loved it when my kids were small. Now not really. Such an expensive month too and nights out. Break from work is nice. Agree with you op.