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Original poster

Christmas - I just don’t get it?

146 replies

BasinHaircut · 26/12/2023 09:44

I am 40 years old and I still don’t get why people go mad for Christmas.

Im not talking about religious aspects, and of course kids love the idea of Santa etc, but for everyone else I just don’t get it.

I try really hard every year to get into the spirit but I haven’t yet found something that ignites a spark.

I go through the motions for my son and we have our ‘traditions’ like going to the panto, seeing the lights etc, but I just cannot get excited about any of it.

Is it just me?

OP posts:
JamSandle · 26/12/2023 15:16

I think there are lots of ways to mark Christmas.

You can do it the traditional way, or get a takeaway and enjoy some peace and quiet, or volunteer, or go on holiday.

We can decide what the day does and doesn't mean for us.

lljkk · 26/12/2023 15:22

Commercial hype & schmatlz.

derxa · 26/12/2023 15:22

Let’s go back to my childhood when we had a tangerine, a piece of coal and Eat Me Dates.

Crunchymum · 26/12/2023 15:26

It's certainly lost it's allure.

It's also highlighted how (relatively) 'spoilt' and 'greedy' we've become. As a child we ate special food, recieved toys we'd spend hours picking and were so bloody grateful.

Now as we live to such excess and have immediate access to anything and everything we need, Christmas isn't as special.

I'm talking about mine and DP's experience but I know so many people feel the same. Kids have such busy lives - so many hobbies and activities and so much stimulation that what seemed like a treat to me as a child (hot chocolate and a film on Christmas eve was the ultimate treat) seems boring to kids now. Hot chocolate is an after school drink not in my house but for many people I know and kids watch a film on a Tuesday evening.

We spend so much time activating our children we shoot ourselves in the foot when it comes to Christmas as we have to go bigger and better to get them excited and engaged. Adults aren't much better either.

SovietSpy · 26/12/2023 15:35

Agree with PP, it’s the sameness of it all. Which in turn drives the dreaded ‘expectations’. Fine if you don’t mind them, but it’s clear a lot of people feel bound into doing things bc that’s the way it’s always been/would upset relatives if they didn’t.
With many of us having 70+ christmases it’s really odd having to do the same thing every year when you think about it.
Other thing is most of us are lucky enough to have comfortable lives. We don’t need to wait to 25th December to have a big meal, drinks and fancy puddings and chocolates. We have most of the things we want and need and so even present giving doesn’t have the same meaning.

FoodieToo · 26/12/2023 15:52

I totally 'get' you OP.

I love winter and don't need any particular reason to get through it .

I am a teacher and I like the 2 weeks off work of course and I love the food and wine .

But the months and months of prepararation for it ( how hard can it be ?) , the endless talk of of it , the shops jammed full, the waste of food and packaging , the pressure on people !! It's awful.

I have embraced my inner grinch this year and am just admitting I find it mainly a pain in the arse !! We ski every year after Christmas but I really think I will try to go FOR Christmas next year !!

Topseyt123 · 26/12/2023 15:53

I've not really been into Christmas for years now. I always look forward to it being over with. So nope, definitely not just you.

I went through the motions for my family when the DDs were growing up and I generally was OK on the day, seeing them open their presents and then us going out for Christmas Dinner at a local hotel within walking distance.

Beyond that, I am not interested. Forced socialising and jollity really isn't my bag at all. I'm not a particularly sociable person and I am certainly not a party animal.

Personally, I'd be happy if Christmas was every other year rather than an annual event. That's clearly not going to happen though. 🙄☹️

StuckintheUSA · 26/12/2023 15:54

Nope, not just you.

Next year we're going to go out for a nice meal on Christmas Eve, and then sit in front of the TV on Christmas Day and eat chocolate/snacks. Every year I spend hours on a meal that's eaten in a few minutes and wonder why I bother. We've had Christmas music in the shops here (USA) since October, and I'm thoroughly sick of it.

We don't even have Boxing Day here, and DH went into work this morning!

lavenderlou · 26/12/2023 15:56

I think there are very few "celebration" days in the UK so I enjoy Christmas. I don't live close to my family so it's nice to have time when all of us are off work and can spend some time together.

Lightsideofthemoon · 26/12/2023 15:57

YADNBU OP- totally with you and feel exactly the same. One of my favourite Xmases was as a backpacker on a NZ campsite- a massive relief! My kids love it but next year we are going away!!

margotrose · 26/12/2023 16:26

Christmas is what you make it.

You don't have to buy tat or host fifteen guests or spend an absolute fortune to have a good time. If you want to go away or have a curry or exchange one gift each then do that - nobody's forcing you to join in with the other stuff if it's not want you want to do.

CoatOfArms · 26/12/2023 16:44

This may be true @margotrose if you exist in a vacuum. But none of us does. We have families, children, friends and colleagues all of whom have expectations. I might want curry for Christmas dinner but I am one of 5 people in this house, and they might not want that. We stopped the gift giving to adults on one side of the family, the other side is not up for it so on it goes - although to be fair, DH does most of the shopping. 4 out of the 5 people in this house want a Christmas tree up, so up it goes. Yes you could just flat out refuse to do anything you didn't want to do, but that's hardly how families work, is it? One person dictating to everyone else?

And as for the rest of it - far harder to avoid. Chrtistmas adverts on telly since the start of November. Christmas music in all the shops since November, radio too (thank god for podcasts). Constant chat from everyone from close family to the woman on the checkout in Tesco about what you're doing for Christmas, are you organised for Christmas, have you finished your shopping etc etc.

It's so overly-simplistic to say "just don't do it".

xyz111 · 26/12/2023 16:45

I'm not bothered about Xmas either. I think it stems from when I was a kid and my parents split, I was always feeling guilty about one parent or the other depending on where I spent Xmas.
So now as an adult, im really not bothered. I bet a lot of people aren't. It's all for show on social media. I embrace it for my 6yo of course, I'm not a total grinch. But so many people just go OTT.

margotrose · 26/12/2023 16:50

@CoatOfArms I don't think it is over-simplistic. Nobody has to do any of the stuff you mention. If your other family members want a roast, they can cook one themselves. If they want a tree, they can sort it, decorate it and take it down again etc.

It seems to me that there are a lot of people on MN who seem to prioritise everyone else's feelings above their own and then spend a lot of time huffing and feeling resentful about it.

bakermummy21 · 26/12/2023 17:46

Hate how everything starts so early. The endless Christmas ads starting the minute Halloween is done!

laclochette · 26/12/2023 18:10

I do not get it either. It's literally one of the most boring times of the year. I'd love to go and stay in a nice hotel for Xmas and actually was going to one year, but it was scuppered by the last min sudden lockdown and I've not had the funds since - but that's my dream. Being at home for 3 days with the family with nothing open and nothing to do, not being able to see friends... It's like a bunch of childhood Sundays strung together and we're meant to feel excited about it?! Madness to me.

HarlanPepper · 26/12/2023 18:15

I've gradually fallen out of love with Christmas over the past ten years or so, and then my dad dying two Christmasses ago was the cherry on the cake.

It's still an important time to other family members so I go through the motions as best I can, but if I only had myself to think about, I'd treat it like any other day.

Berryberrywintermedley · 26/12/2023 18:22

Christmas is shite . I don't bother at all with it snymy

GRex · 26/12/2023 19:40

Being at home for 3 days with the family with nothing open and nothing to do, not being able to see friends...
This is so random. You have nothing to do in your house??? No books, music, movies, games... nothing??? You can't invite your friends to your house??? It's just sounding like "I hate life so it's Christmas's fault." Ok, you can't shop for a day... is that all your life is?

Motheranddaughter · 26/12/2023 20:08

I agree with pp ,don’t do anything you don’t want to do
I adore Christmas ,but for me it’s mainly about catching up and spending time with family and friends
All that elf on the shelf,Christmas Eve boxes can fuck off
Have had a brilliant time so far x

margotrose · 26/12/2023 20:42

Being at home for 3 days with the family with nothing open and nothing to do, not being able to see friends...

Apart from Christmas Day, there's plenty of places open and plenty of things to do. And why can't you see friends? Confused

mondaytosunday · 26/12/2023 21:25

I love Christmas. However so much is wrapped up in my experience of it growing up. Even when we had to spend one Christmas in a one bedroom flat (three kids, me and my sister slept near the tree) and it was normal to get a just a couple presents each, to me it was magical. Going up to turn to see the lights was awe-inspiring for kids. My mother made it really special, and even as teens I would go choose the tree with my father and he had infinite patience if I made him go to three places.
I have always tried to make Christmas for my family as special, even if just me and my kids (I was widowed early). We all get very excited for Christmas.
But if it's not your thing it's not your thing! Nothing wrong with that.

Heatherbell1978 · 26/12/2023 21:46

Have quite young DC so definitely feel 'obliged' to get stuck in and make it good for them but other than that I struggle. Have to host FIL who is old and difficult, I stress about buying gifts for family - we're all a bit distant but do get together at Xmas and I just feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the whole thing. I'm quite introverted and hosting people isn't really my thing but circumstances mean we usually have to. Also hate the consumerism and the sheer amount of money spent on it.

Lovesacake · 26/12/2023 21:50

I love buying/recieving gifts and eating indulgent food and fairy lights so this time of year works well for me. I do think it’s a time of year though for firm boundaries - if you only spend time with people who genuinely bring you joy it really helps

girlfriend44 · 26/12/2023 22:09

Hope people start to scale ot down over the years.

You don't have to behave in a certain way ever 12 months just because someone said a baby boy was born. So what.
You've only got to see the number of ppl on here complaining about presents etc to know it's time to knock it on the head.
Very liberating when you do.

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