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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pee in the night

57 replies

Fudgeycake · 25/12/2023 01:12

Staying at the inlaws and I'm excruciatingly embarrassed to pee during the night. The bathroom is right next to their room, on the other side of where their bed is. I don't want to wake anyone up. Shall I pee downstairs and also risk waking people and have them wondering what the hell I'm doing down there at 1am?

OP posts:
Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 25/12/2023 07:17

@Fudgeycake hope you managed to go to the loo and aren't lying there uncomfortable on a full bladder!

LoudSnoringDog · 25/12/2023 07:18

I think most normal people would be absolutely fine with you needing to empty your bladder

KimberleyClark · 25/12/2023 07:20

Bluelightbaby · 25/12/2023 05:47

I’d have a pee and then not flush tbh

This is what I would do. ILs were fine with it. I wouldn’t go downstairs while staying with them as they put their burglar alarm on downstairs at night and wouldn’t want to be faffing about switching it off and switching it back on again.

Bingobatman · 25/12/2023 07:35

Don’t flush if they are right next to them. Or go downstairs if you would feel happier. Your dad’s attitude (which is unpleasant and unhelpful although it sounds as if he was woken up and went into fight/flight mode) is probably still affecting you - might be worth working on this to being your anxiety levels down.
I have chucked the loo tissue in the bin before in the hope that MIL thinks it was her son who left the loo unflushed! :-)

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 25/12/2023 07:41

Blimey, just do it. I'd flush as well, TBH, unless they have said not to - rather hear a flush than come in to someone else's lingering urine.

FrostieBoabby · 25/12/2023 07:53

I would go downstairs, maybe make up some excuse about grabbing a glass of water if I get "caught". Hearing other people using to loo makes me cringe and I certainly wouldn't want in laws hearing me!

MrsMoastyToasty · 25/12/2023 08:11

Ever heard the phrase "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down." ???

lesdeluges · 25/12/2023 08:22

Bring a potty next time.

Nannyfannybanny · 25/12/2023 08:29

MrsMostyToasty, it's obviously only you and me,then! I have a cystocele,so up at least once in the night, I creep out,there's a kids plug in night light in the hall, don't put any lights on, I don't close the door either,and certainly don't flush.

Nannyfannybanny · 25/12/2023 08:31

Hearing people using the toilet makes you cringe, Jesus, don't have children! What would you do in a public lavatory 🤔

MyLadyTheKingsMother · 25/12/2023 08:37

Herbiebanannas · 25/12/2023 01:38

This is where men have the advantage of being able to go in the sink, and then just run the tap gently to avoid the flush noise.

Erm, what?

DonnaBanana · 25/12/2023 08:59

Night time behaviour is a common topic on here and I’m always surprised how touchy some people are about it. At ours anyone gets up and does what they want when they want as long as it’s not literally putting the hifi on or something. I couldn’t live in a house where you have to creep around

Catsmere · 25/12/2023 09:00

MrsMoastyToasty · 25/12/2023 08:11

Ever heard the phrase "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down." ???

I've lived by that rule for years! Saves a hell of a lot of water, too.

LoobyDop · 25/12/2023 09:08

Anyone who did not flush in my house would not be invited again. So disgusting.

ReadyForSeason · 25/12/2023 09:10

Wet the bed instead, I am sure they would prefer that 😂

meganorks · 25/12/2023 09:30

This has reminded me of when I first stayed with my ILs. They didn't have a toilet brush. So they informed me if I needed a number 2 (can't actually remember how they phrased it) then after I was to put bleach down the toilet, then shut the lid and put the bleach bottle on top to let people know it was in there and to flush first. No one really wants to have a shit in someone else's house, particularly not people they have just met. So now instead of trying to be subtle and quick, I basically had to put a big 'I've had a shit!' alert on the loo 😳

MadeOfAllWork · 25/12/2023 09:39

meganorks · 25/12/2023 09:30

This has reminded me of when I first stayed with my ILs. They didn't have a toilet brush. So they informed me if I needed a number 2 (can't actually remember how they phrased it) then after I was to put bleach down the toilet, then shut the lid and put the bleach bottle on top to let people know it was in there and to flush first. No one really wants to have a shit in someone else's house, particularly not people they have just met. So now instead of trying to be subtle and quick, I basically had to put a big 'I've had a shit!' alert on the loo 😳

Every time someone has a shit? Christ that’s unnecessary.

jolies1 · 25/12/2023 09:47

Just wee! We were at parents last week for an early Xmas - I’m heavily pregnant, parents are almost 70, brother and DP had a few beers the night before. Someone was up every ten mins 😂

meganorks · 25/12/2023 11:46

Every. Single. Time.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 25/12/2023 13:04

Actually, deliver a nice heavy satisfying steamy pee, then say “HO HO HO” in a deep jolly voice and leave an empty mince pie foil tray on the top of the cistern.

Even the big man gotta pee.

BestBadger · 25/12/2023 13:11

CorporaINobbyNobbs · 25/12/2023 06:13

This is where men have the advantage of being able to go in the sink

😞 do men really do this???

Yes, all of us. We only leave the toilet seat up to make you think we've used it.

twoyearstogountilthebig50 · 25/12/2023 13:21

I know exactly what you mean OP. I'd be the same.

However, I hope you didn't let it stop you.
I need to get up at least twice during the night and would be in agony if I didn't.

I know if I had a guest staying I would be mortified if they felt they couldn't have a wee in the night.

minipie · 25/12/2023 13:26

Definitely wee. I’m a really light sleeper and even I wouldn’t get woken by the sound of pee. I do get woken by flushing so would much rather you didn’t flush but can see this is 50/50 so maybe one to ask.

Stayupallnight · 25/12/2023 13:51

Herbiebanannas · 25/12/2023 01:38

This is where men have the advantage of being able to go in the sink, and then just run the tap gently to avoid the flush noise.

This is absolutely foul.

DonnaBanana · 25/12/2023 22:22

meganorks · 25/12/2023 09:30

This has reminded me of when I first stayed with my ILs. They didn't have a toilet brush. So they informed me if I needed a number 2 (can't actually remember how they phrased it) then after I was to put bleach down the toilet, then shut the lid and put the bleach bottle on top to let people know it was in there and to flush first. No one really wants to have a shit in someone else's house, particularly not people they have just met. So now instead of trying to be subtle and quick, I basically had to put a big 'I've had a shit!' alert on the loo 😳

Then you get those people who tolerate having terrible plumbing and make you put your dirty toilet roll in a bin next to the toilet. It’s absolutely vile