To think I’m autistic, aren’t I?

[Youcanonlyask]

Siblings diagnosed, one child diagnosed. Always been ‘quirky’ grew up in terrible household so always assumed my maladjustment and awkwardness was down to that. Always been introverted, gifted at art and certain things but so socially awkward that I never really persevered at them, always just hovered on the periphery of a social group. Felt violated if anyone really got close and tried to become an intimate friend. Academically gifted, able to function in society and make things happen. Intuitive and devoted mother, anxious, not always super organised but very loving, enjoyed going ‘into their world’ and was very good at playing and imagining and playing with them. But struggled a bit with structure despite meeting their needs well. Always been able to lose myself down Rabbit holes, especially with autistic child, we have been on many adventures together and spent many hours on projects together. A bit childlike in terms of priorities, installed huge sandpit and swimming pool before properly decorating or furnishing our home. Have days when I feel robotic and do things but dont feel present. Very big list of sensory ‘icks’. I had a wobbler earlier because I was wrapping gifts and the paper was awful, DH was bemused, I couldn’t explain why the process was making me feel ill but I couldn’t cope and threw a ball of paper at him.

we went to a local shop and he said ‘ chose some paper babe, this one looks like it sounds autism friendly’ he meant it kindly. We do lots of things autism friendly for one of our children.
it was actually better. I’ve done all the wrapping now and feel calm. The paper was less rustly and a different texture. I feel like he’s just said something we already knew, I’m also confused as to why I’m so long in tooth for someone to actually say this. Thoughts welcome.

I am also autistic and you have misunderstood.

Not everyone has traits of autism.

Autism is a diagnosis, not a label.

OP you do sound to me like someone who may well be autistic.

This is a common misconception. Because autistic people have difficulties communicating their experiences to others it is assumed they lack imagination, it's quite the opposite. The autism community is full of creatives! You're confusing social imagination with imagination.

It's an interesting question though, as the line has to be drawn somewhere.

DS has been diagnosed, and I see so much of myself in him - it was suggested I be referred for assessment so I filled in the form. I suspect I won't meet the threshold for diagnosis but who knows...

🤦‍♀️

@EilonwyWithRedGoldHair thats what I’m saying. It’s such a wide spectrum it’s impossible not to identify with at least one or two (but more likely a few) traits/symptoms/habits/ train of thoughts. It obviously doesn’t mean everyone will be diagnosed.

That's the problem with trying to diagnose a physical difference in the brain through clinical means.

However, there is a line - and it's defined in the DSM V. If you want to avoid the heavily psychiatry-speak definition in the DSM, Sam has a fantastic video here explaining it (this is also a great way for those on the "Am I/aren't I?" journey to get a bit of clarity):

OP - you sound like me. Diagnosed with autism and ADHD in very recent years. I'm in my 50s. The absolute validation I got was mind-blowing. I've become much kinder to myself and as a result, I no longer mask at all. I've had no negativity for this either.

I'm now able to live the life I need to, rather than the one I thought I should. That's big.

That sounds really tough, OP.
I have sensory processing disorder, but luckily for me, noises aren't too loud or anything, it's just an energy zapper. Be kind and tolerant to yourself xxx

Well the first one was clearly incompetent and has no understanding of adhd so not sure what your point is .

@randomusername2020 i agree entirely, sometimes these threads are suggesting that an ASD diagnosis is defined & boundaried in ways that they can never be, because ultimately it relies on a clinician's opinion rather than fact . In an old-fashioned, male-dominated society many of the people currently getting ASD diagnosis would never be actually diagnosed because certain traits are so common amongst men; as our society has come to value soft skills more the balance has shifted, hence also why perhaps more ASD women are being diagnosed. We previously just accepted certain personalities or behaviours as part of the range of "normal" in human society, although perhaps that person may be labelled eccentric. Currently ASD & ADHD diagnosis both come down to whether or not those traits are problematic enough to cause that person difficulties in functioning. The genetics within families can be obvious producing both people who have received a diagnosis and people who have different numbers of traits (mine included where both ADHD and ASD are in different families members with a number of us a bit "this and that" who'd never receive a diagnosis).