Is it rude to buy someone a self help book?

[MyChristmasUsername]

Just wondering what you would think if you were the recipient, as someone else has said they would find it rude to open this.

YABU - definitely loaded, of all the things you could get someone..
YANBU - no it’s ok, overthinking

How would you feel if someone bought you a self help book on emotional intelligence?

Oh definitely no.

Self help books are utter shite so yes I would find it rude. Free toilet paper though I guess.

They did. I wasn’t clear. I was the recipient

Its okay if on their wish list otherwise, no, not appropriate at all! I would be mortified to open that on Xmas day.

The only exception is if my best mate sent it because she is a cow and would have a proper laugh about it. Like I did when I sent her anti aging cream last Christmas.

Yeah it's rude.

Thought this was going to be the case. Who from?

Although ironic because it suggests they could do with a book on Emotional Intelligence.

My sister

Have your revenge next year and get her a self help book too.

Rude and unkind. Does she feel she is better than you, hence the need for you to improve yourself?
I’m sorry OP, it’s a crap thing to do. Hugs for you

Get her one for losing weight.

OK that’s a pretty bad etiquette fail on her part.

I hope you’re feeling OK?

Oh blimey. Yeah, I would be deeply pissed off if someone bought me that.

Ironically, buying you a self-help book on emotional intelligence suggests the person who gave it to you is seriously lacking in emotional intelligence

Ask them first! It's a nice thing if they want it but if not it can be insulting. When my baby's dad abandoned me during the pregnancy a friend gave me a book about how to overcome being desperate for a man. It was something she needed as she had unhealthy attachments. I was on a different planet than that. I never read it and sold it to a bookshop later. It made me mad every time I saw it until I finally got rid of it. These things can go wrong so easily. So definitely ask!

Thank you and thanks @EmptyYoghurtPot too, I am okay! Bemused more than anything

Thought as much.

Are you into psychology generally? If not your sister was being super rude. Suggest you find her one on family dynamics.

Partner?

No I’m not. She has form for stuff like this and likes playing silly games but I thought we were past that. I didn’t know if I was just being ungrateful for the book, maybe she read it and wanted to share it with me and I might just be being really unappreciative here so thought I’d post to see the majority view.

I did years ago as a birthday gift and sent via post,
It was called self help how to stop compulsive lying.
Said person never spoke to me again i regret nothing.

omg. I wonder if it's a case of projection like mine- they had an issue and now they're projecting their issue on everyone else. It's well meaning but tone deaf. I would ask them what their intentions were. It might be innocent but misguided. Very insulting either way!!

Ah just seen it's your sister. Tell her it's really interesting and she's welcome to borrow it afterwards

Someone bought me one last year along similar lines and they got a scathing response from me and the cold shoulder for a while.

For example, if DP’s crank cousin who I barely know handed me a copy of a book about how to connect with my spiritual side and become a nicer person, I’d be fucking livid. Or if a colleague gave me a book about distancing myself from toxic parents, I would be fucking livid AND I’d think they were insane because my parents are lovely.

Why would you be fucking livid rather than just momentarily bemused before you donated the book to a charity shop?

I don't think I could be bothered to waste my energy getting fucking livid about that.

@flowerchild2000 think you are spot on