To only want one source of noise at a time?

[Noooise]

Probably small problem but this morning the TV is blaring and various toys of the kids are making the noises they do. Then DP starts Alexa playing loud Christmas songs. I really was getting a bit stressed with it - DP gets all grumpy and says we can surely play Christmas songs but that TV and toys (and kids) is too much!

Oh, you are all on the same wavelength as me. A very quiet one 😬 I didn’t realise I was sensitive to noise until I had kids.

Recently I was in the kitchen and DH was watching a film on his laptop, DD was looking at Tiktoks on her phone. I was amazed neither of them seemed bothered by the competing noise. I felt very agitated, tense and actually quite angry and had to leave the room.

I cant cope with loads of noise. Husband will have tv on too loud then gets annoyed when I ask him to turn it down. I'm the same in the car - don't always want music blaring away. I crave quiet and peace.

Since I have NCd anyway, here is a photo of the road I live. Going for a walk round here involves getting in the car then going for a walk which honestly seems excessive for some Christmas songs. Plus both kids together is hard work and I don’t think it’s fair to do that to DH. Hence my not until 2025 comment which wasn’t totally a joke. Either way I really shouldn’t have to ‘hide’ in my own home. Noise when kids are around is inevitable I just wish DH would stop contributing to it!

The entirety of modern life is all about over-stimulation. Our hunter gatherer ancestors would be appalled.

Is anyone watching the TV? In our house it's only on if we are watching something specific. The idea of it just being on in the background is mad to me. If DH is watching something can the kids take toys and xmas songs upstairs?

OP that sounds horrific (literally). I couldn't physically cope with that at all. I don't understand why some people have to have constant noise - are they afraid of their own thoughts or something?

If it's bothering you, then it's not excessive to want to get away from it. Things like that can tip you over the edge. Don't devalue or minimise the impact that its had on you. I once dated a psychiatrist who told me "I placed too much importance on the noise" He went in the bin!

I'm actually diagnosed Autistic now (didn't realise why things like that got to me so much it hurt)

Be kind to yourself, make sure you carve out some time for yourself, and remind your family to be respectful. Hopefully then noise levels will calm down a bit after the excitement and build up to Christmas.

Also this. Life was surely never meant to be so frenetic. We are all burning ourselves out!

100% with you. I can't bear it if the tv is on and DH starts playing videos or news clips on his laptop. Causes me so much stress. Especially when it's him who is watching tv in the first place and I'm reading or mumsnetting.

Glad you don't live here! I would happily watch tv, play music and play on my phone simultaneously. Drives everyone else mad. I find only doing one thing hard bizarrely, I have a hyperactive brain. We are all different. Personally I would turn off the tv in your circumstances

I agree. Can’t stand multiple sources of noise.

Everyone in my house only wants to talk to me and they all want to do it at the same time, regardless of whether anyone else is already talking to me. Then both/all three people (yes, sometimes three of them are at it at once) get the hump with ME when I say I can only have one conversation at a time and just fucking WAIT until the first one is finished.

I think for me it’s partly because when I was with my ex she would often have multiple noises going on a lot once, so bad memories, & partly because I’ve lived by myself for years now & have total control over noise in my flat, so it’s a bit of a shock when I’m somewhere surrounded by different noises. Especially if I can’t politely leave / get them switched off.

DP is the king of the remote. He likes to choose what’s on the TV. He watches football matches and commentary on his iPad at the same time. He has no sense that the competing noises are a wind up to me. I make him switch off one of them so that I can relax.

can't stand too much noise. My sister is staying with us and this morning just as I had come down she started asking me questions. I had to say please don't ask me anything until my brain has woken up!

Also can't bear flashing Christmas lights, oddly DS1 is just the same and says it is almost painful for him.

Both of us are NT, but fairly introverted

Yeah I have to go sit in the attic by myself alot in the evenings because my daughter will have cbeebies on loud, my son will be on his switch with loud gunfire sounds, and my husband will be watching videos on his phone on loud... all in the same room open plan kitchen living room... amd often the drier is on too...
I cannot tolerate it whatsoever.
If I say anything they all look at me like I'm insane and uptight

My DS uses sensory overload to regulate himself and so right now we have tv on, his iPad and switch all playing different things. I don't hear the noise anymore but I don't know how.

YES! My DC will be quiet for ages and then all of a sudden both need to bombard me with questions (DS5) or tell me something VERY IMPORTANT (DD9), at precisely the same time. Especially when I'm on the phone. It drives me up the wall.

Solidarity...My dc2 is too young for this but it's already annoying when dc1 does it!

However, you should try teaching a class of year 7-9 kids, they all want to impress you with their "insightful" questions all at once... although tbf the lesson has an end. And they don't get the hump when you (reasonably) tell them to be quiet!

I wonder if it's socially acceptable to get my kids to put hands up before talking to me at home 😂

Oh god this is my life. Right down to them being mardy with ME. DP in particular gets out-of-proportion arsey when I snap that I can’t THINK and can we turn off X and Y then they all go one at a time.

The other morning the TV was on, the baby had a musical plastic noisy thing going, and was babbling “uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh” which is more like a groan that goes right through me, older DC was rambling about something and going “mummy mummy can I…?” and DP starts firing questions at me: is the cleaner coming today? what time should I put the baby down for a nap? does the friend giving you a lift have a car seat?” etc etc. The red mist descended in my head, I genuinely couldn’t hear or think or see or speak beyond RAAAAAAAGE. (Not least because his questions were fucking stupid: of course she’s coming today because it’s her day, try the same nap time as every other day, no she doesn’t I thought I’d strap DC to the roof rack, you imbecile. So basically he was just doing noise pollution at me on top of the TV and toys and children’s yammer. Shut upppppppppppppp.)

Have I NCd and forgotten @reclaimmyboobs 😅

I would have turned the TV off. I bloody hate TV on for no reason.

Background music fine, but the TV, either sit down and watch it or turn the damn thing off.

Putting music on while the TV is on is awful why on earth would he do that?

It was some crap programme eldest Dc was watching but he’d have started roaring like a young bullock if we’d switched it off

YANBU I get a visceral reaction if there are too many sources of noise at the same time
Can barely hold a conversation with the TV on

At the risk of sounding like a saleswoman(!) the Engage is supposed to reduce sound without blocking it entirely. So it takes the edge off the multiple inputs but means you can still hear conversations. If it doesn’t work for you they have a 100 day refund policy, even if you’ve used them. I figured it was worth a try for me; and now I’ve gifted more to my friends this Christmas!