Fuming with lying husband

[Descarte]

He went out with friends last night, only got back aroung 5:30 this morning which already annoyed me even though it's not the first time he has done this. Anyway, that's not even why I am angry. I noticed a bruise on this face this morning but let him sleep for a while. IT had definitely gotten darker by the time he got up, so safe to assume that this will be a proper shiner.
He claims that he must have bumped into something and that he wasn't in a fight, but I am very sure that this is a lie. I can tell that his hand is sore, but he also denies this.
I am absolutely fuming about all of this. We are supposed to drive up to my parents in the morning. They are not the biggest fans of DH and this will just give them more reason to dislike him. And I also absolutely hate being lied to! I am somewhat tempted to text one of his friends that he was out with but I don't even know if I'd get the truth then.
Right now I am seriously considering leaving him at home on his own and take the DCs to see their grandparents over the Christmas break, but I know that once I do this I will guilty.

I'd definitely not be taking him with me.

Leave him at home.

If your parents dislike him (probably for the way he treats you), then him turning up with a black eye, would not be a good luck.

Fancy acting like that when you have kids.

He's an embarrassment.

*look not luck

Ugh he sounds awful. The issue is though that if you go away for Christmas without him, that's going to be the end of the relationship, surely? Are you happy with that? Also if he's fighting other people, can you be sure he wouldn't hurt you?

No, I don't want it to be the end of our relationship...I'm just angry and disappointed :(

I think if you drive off and leave him behind on Christmas eve you will essentially be ending your relationship.
Maybe speak to him later when he's not hungover and see what he says.

So he stays out all night and gets shitfaced and fights. And lies to you?
Why exactly don’t you want this to be the end of the relationship??
No wonder your parents aren’t fond of him.

This. Let him stay home alone until he can grow up and play nicely.

Why wouldn’t you want this to be the end if your relationship?

I couldn’t get away fast enough from a bloke who goes out boozing until 5.30am and gets into fights. I guarantee you will be happier without a man like this.

Where’s your self esteem?

If my Dh woke up with a bruise I would be really worried about him. The fact that you assume that he’s been fighting speaks volumes about the type of person that he is and explains why your Dp don’t like him

This. Why do you think he's such a prize ?

You don’t trust him … so why you with him ?

He’s said he wasn’t in a fight, you don’t believe him, you have no evidence to the contrary, he can’t prove he wasn’t.

I thought this too.

Why don’t your parents like him?

I suspect they have cause.

Why would you want to be with someone who behaves this way, and is violent, or someone that also lies to you. I just couldn't do it.

Sounds like your parents have the measure of him and I'd not insult them by taking him to their home in the pathetic state he is. No need to feel guilty for a situation he has caused, he should be apologising ( but clearly won't, because he's a lowlife).

Not sure what to say other than that OP, I would absolutely tell him to stay at home and enjoy the day without the burden of him.

The bruise might not be his fault-as in, he might not have started or provoked the incident-but it's unlikely to have been caused by bumping into something. Does he have form for this sort of thing?

He’s really insulting your intelligence here. Bumped into something, yeah, it was someone’s fist was it? 🙄

Unless I'm missing a massive back story, sounds like he went too mad on drinking and got into something and is now home ok. I'm not sure I could get worked up about it.
I was out last night. There were a lot of very drunk falling over people. One bloke ended up being helped by strangers as he fell over three times and banged his arm on the floor. I'm sure he will be sore and bruised today. I think people just went a bit mad last night.

If he does this every weekend then that's completely different.

We had an issue with this sort of stuff in the past (years ago), but it's not normally something that happens now. No it's true that I have no evidence. I'm just frustrated

Finally on this thread a response suggesting this is best judged in the wider context of your marriage. Going on here before he’s had a chance to lose the hangover and have a proper chat with you may not be the best idea as there a lot of posters who will happily try and break up a family based on the very minimal picture of your life we get from the post.

Also consider that he may have no idea what happened - after my Christmas do I apparently went clubbing with colleagues but have zero recollection of it. Maybe he also needs to speak to mates to find out what really happened.

I've got drunk before and given myself a black eye and got scrapes. Not fighting, just falling over in heels.

I'd wait to speak to him and as another poster above has said, I'd set this within the wider context of your marriage and what you know about him already.

It would annoy me more that he didnt get home until after 5am. I know some places are open late.....but 5am...

Maybe he got caught shagging somebody’s wife/GF.

I’ll never understand why some people need to be so damn mean for no reason at all and go out of their way to make others feel even worse

You dont actually know that he lied though

Why do you assume he’s lying? Sounds like he fell over whilst drunk and hurt himself. Coming home at 5am once in a while isn’t that bad - it only becomes a problem if he did this every week.
Why don’t you just ask him what happened? If that was my DH I would believe what he told me and I def wouldn’t be leaving him behind at Christmas.