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Original poster

Miss being young

57 replies

Misssf · 22/12/2023 07:40

I’m not old, I’m 38. But I miss the days of being fearless, having hope in a way I don’t these days because I know how brutal life can be. I’m not a misery (I don’t think!) but life was different then. Light, free, full of expectation of the future. I know there’s good bits about being older but I just miss that feeling of being young. Does it eventually stop?

OP posts:
1990s · 22/12/2023 07:42

I feel exactly the same.

What I thought when I read your OP was, maybe we should just try to approach things in the same way as when we were young - essentially just “be” young.

I’m not sure how I’m approaching it at the moment is helping me.

Lemonyfuckit · 22/12/2023 07:46

I really know what you mean OP. I have a nostalgia for the past when I was more carefree and less full of worry, the world seemed like a better place (whether that's true or just my nostalgia but it really does feel like it's gone to hell in a hand basket with everything going on in the world). When my DF was still alive and both parents were younger and in great health. And my life was still just open possibilities, I didn't really have any kind of plan and so what.

DustyLee123 · 22/12/2023 07:47

No, it just gets worse. And when you see people of your generation dying, that’s when fear kicks in, fear that your kids will be ok without you, and realising that you’ve wasted life when you should have been doing things.

Original poster
Misssf · 22/12/2023 07:51

@DustyLee123 great 😀😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Misssf · 22/12/2023 07:52

@Lemonyfuckit yes exactly! It’s the feeling about the world isn’t it? Everything used to feel so exciting and laced with newness. I feel quite sad about the world mostly now, even though my life is generally happy

OP posts:
blackberrychutney · 22/12/2023 07:52

I know exactly what you mean OP, I always feel this way at Xmas. I'm very lucky with my DH & DCs but sometimes I can't shake the feeling of wanting to be carefree and spontaneous, especially when it comes to nights out! The buzz of people out having drinks straight from work, Or late boozy lunches really gets me down. Also, the feeling of feeling attractive, turning heads at Bars and chatting to cheery strangers on the Train.

Original poster
Misssf · 22/12/2023 07:53

@1990s i think I have started to feel old these days that’s the problem. My body hurts in ways it never used to!

OP posts:
ploikj · 22/12/2023 07:53

I get a bit envious of younger generations, it sometimes feels like the world is meant for teens/young 20s, I've been quite nostalgic for the 00s recently when the world was my oyster and it felt like it was for me. Not sure why, very happy with my lot, and very lucky to have navigated growing up in a financially turbulent time and "succeeding" but can't help but feel a bit past it now...also 30s!

ScarlettSunset · 22/12/2023 07:57

I think it does pass.
I'm nearly 50 now. My life is so much better than it was when I was younger. I am definitely more fearless now than previously. Though it may just be that I e reached an age where I stopped caring about what others think of me!

BingoMarieHeeler · 22/12/2023 07:57

I am 34 and feel like a clueless child, I was having this conversation with friends just this week 😄 we also feel like we’re on the brink of a transformation though as done having kids, now is our time, loads of exciting things coming up.

Luckily my body is fucked so I feel old physically so that won’t be a shock 😄

I have about 6 friends turning 40 this year (one yesterday!) and they’re all excited and apparently 40s are where it’s at. 36 is apparently when people feel most stressed (young families, people still working hard), but also the age old people would wish to go back to the most - young kids, exciting job, youth on your side. So it’s all just perspective really.

Dunno, just some thoughts. You’ll never be this young again - what’s stopping you from doing new fun stuff? I have loads of fun plans including solo travel and retraining next year.

Perfectlystill · 22/12/2023 07:58

Can I just recommend turning 50?

It's such a nice age to be, if you're happy where you are in life.

Willywanker1 · 22/12/2023 08:36

I'm 41 and have never felt younger. 'Light, free, full of expectation of the future.' I'm more confident in every way.

Yeah sure the mortgage needs paying but I couldn't give a fuck about expectations and my fucks well runneth dry. I feel truly free.

KnowThyself · 22/12/2023 08:43

Good grief I didn’t feel a bit like this till I was post menopause at 52 and that was more because my body let me down. When I see DS and his GF I do realise that some possibilities have run out which makes me a little regretful. They went on holiday overseas together for the first time and it is stuff like that, they can’t be a first again.

My favourite decade so far was 37 to 47.

DilemmaDelilah · 22/12/2023 08:53

I don't think I ever felt the way you did when you were young @Misssf . I feel so much happier and more secure now I am older. However I do miss being able to do things physically that I can't do now because I am old, ill and decrepit. Also - I deeply regret not understanding that all the time I thought I was fat and ugly I actually wasn't. I was quite good looking (although not a stunner) and size 14 is NOT huge and I could have worn so many things I didn't because I thought I was too fat.
You are only 38 - you may be feeling older but please make the most of what you have now, while you can.

Catza · 22/12/2023 08:58

I am 40 and I feel great. My 20s and 30s were riddled with money issues, poor relationship choices, back breaking work. I work out so my body is in top condition. I work in a professional job which I love. I have a wonderful family and I have a lot of creative hobbies. Can't really complain about anything at this stage.

Disturbia81 · 22/12/2023 09:55

Agree with the last few posters, I had a good childhood/teens/20s but wouldn't go back, I feel better with every passing year. I get chatted up and talk to strangers even more so. I do get what you mean about future hope and having all family still alive etc.
The key is to make your present how you want it.. I still go on nights out and have that buzz. I have a job I truly love, I'm always trying to be a better person, I don't know.. I think longing for the past means you aren't happy.

zingally · 22/12/2023 10:14

I'm 39 and feel the same.

In my late 20s, early 30s, I did things I'd never do now. I went for long walks in the countryside on my own. With no plan, just seeing where the next path took me. I hiked long and lonely canal paths in the summers. I got in my car and went for long, multi-day road trips round the country. Never once gave a single thought to personal safety. I just went out and did whatever I felt like. I had a really adventurous spirit.

Somewhere, over the last 3 or 4 years, I've lost that, and I'm not sure why.

Tiftly · 22/12/2023 14:52

OP I'm the same age as you and feel exactly same. I feel like mid 30s to early 40s is an inbetweeny age range as you transition from being "young" to adjusting towards middle age. I also don't (and won't ever) have kids so I think knowing I don't have any of the milestones they bring makes the future feel a bit less exciting.

Hayst · 22/12/2023 14:54

ScarlettSunset · 22/12/2023 07:57

I think it does pass.
I'm nearly 50 now. My life is so much better than it was when I was younger. I am definitely more fearless now than previously. Though it may just be that I e reached an age where I stopped caring about what others think of me!

I like this, and I fully agree. Even quite nice being at an age (51) when people (men) rarely letch at me. Those that do, always older.

Verv · 22/12/2023 14:58

In an ideal world id be 25 now but with the wisdom and income that being 46 has given me.

Think ill go and have a biscuit cos thats depressing 😂

GreatGateauxsby · 22/12/2023 15:00

Hmmmm... not sure I feel the same.
I am that age (ish) now and when I think back at my 20s...

I mostly think back at
A. how dumb and simplistic some of my view was...
X is right, Y is wrong. A is the villain B is the hero.
Life is way more nuanced than that.
B. How badly I let people treat me and what crap choices I made. My 20s were real wilderness years.

I generally love my life now, there is more responsibilty / druggery that comes with motherhood but I have been fortunate in a lot of ways and I appreciate all the nice stuff I have (not just material things but good relationship with siblings, nice husband/good marriage, have been able to have & can afford to have children etc)
I also really like being older and not giving a shit if some bloke fancies me or not.

Ladysodor · 22/12/2023 15:02

38!! 😂. Come back when you’re 60. I’d give my right arm to be 38 again.

IncompleteSenten · 22/12/2023 15:05

I think maybe it depends what life was like when you were young.

My youth was bloody awful. A people pleasing doormat bullied by everyone and who handed out sex for scraps of male attention.

I'd rather have wrinkles than go back to that.

I'm 50 now. I found my balls a few years back and stopped giving a shit about keeping people happy when those people didn't care about my happiness.

I feel more confident than I ever did in my youth. If I could go back into that time and body but with me as I am today inside it then I'd do it. Everything I've learned, every battle I've fought, and the chance to use that to take my life in a different direction? Hell yes.
To just be young again? No thank you. Bring on my 60s I say!

KimberleyClark · 22/12/2023 15:09

I am 62 and wouldn’t mind having my 25 year old body back again. But I wouldn’t swap the confidence and wisdom I’ve accumulated for that!

NutsForMutts · 22/12/2023 15:09

It only gets better...and those feelings come in waves and phases. I felt totally past it at 37, couldn't get pregnant and it looked doomed. (it wasn't.) I remember pretending I was 34 for a while because it just made me feel better. Now past 50 and I do lots of adventurous things and carve out so much more time for myself physically and emotionally. Exercise and menopause made me leaner and I still feel like my best work career wise is ahead of me. I wake with joy, and blast music and dance the same as I did when I was a teenager and life felt new. I was fairly pretty, and vain, so ageing is hard to deal with sometimes but I love where I am at.