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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Miss being young

57 replies

Misssf · 22/12/2023 07:40

I’m not old, I’m 38. But I miss the days of being fearless, having hope in a way I don’t these days because I know how brutal life can be. I’m not a misery (I don’t think!) but life was different then. Light, free, full of expectation of the future. I know there’s good bits about being older but I just miss that feeling of being young. Does it eventually stop?

OP posts:
DancingLions · 21/07/2025 11:41

I'm in my 50s and lots of things about aging don't actually bother me.
The one thing I struggle with is that nothing is likely to change now. I'll probably never move house again, or get a different job or start a new relationship.

Sure, theoretically I could do any of those things. But if I did, I'd be doing it for the "hit" of excitement and I know there's a 99% chance I'd regret it long term. I am happy with my life but I do miss the possibilities of youth. Especially I think because when I was young in the 80s, the opportunities were less than they are now and/or I didn't know about them. I'd be pursuing a very different life to the one I have, if I was young now.

Ihad2Strokes · 21/07/2025 11:48

I understand his you feel, I actually found my 39th very hard!

but I implore you to enjoy the youth you have (that you're currently not seeing) and do the things you want to do!!

I am now 55, my life got detailed massively by Covid, then an accident & this year a couple of strokes (together) I have been left disabled and unable to do very much.

yeah it's horrible when you realise you're not really young & carefree anymore, but please don't let it take away from what you DO have.

❤️

Ihad2Strokes · 21/07/2025 11:58

ManchesterMama1 · 20/07/2025 22:11

Yes to this!

I’m 42 and had a nostalgic dance party with my 7 year old daughter earlier to Grease 1 and 2, Dirty Dancing and the audition scene from Save the Last Dance.

It reawoke memories in me when I was young, free, energetic and the world was so full of possibilities. I felt optimistic and believed in people before I’d really been let down.

I’m also generally happy with my lot but the last few years have kicked my arse, I gave up alcohol and improve my health and life has been very heavy and hard at times from birth traumas and friendship fallouts to losing both my parents.

I think it’s ok to have nostalgia for a time when I we were carefree and naieve and not yet tainted by the huge responsibility and heartache of what being a grown up can be!

Of course I’m sure women my age who have lived through little adversity don’t feel the same. In fact my boss is one of them and I admire her zest for life still, her wire circle of friends and the fact she somehow still parties and boozes and socialises most weekends!

Halloween Thumbs Down GIF by Carowinds

ZOMBIE

WHY??

Why did you revive a ZOMBIE thread???

KnitFastDieWarm · 21/07/2025 12:10

god no, I’m 38 and vastly prefer being this age! I have very fond memories of tipsy nights out and adventures as a teen and twentysomething but i’ve got no desire to repeat those thing now. I still chat to strangers in cafes and pubs, learn new things, try new experiences, and try and maintain a generally positive and grateful attitude to the world. I also know my own mind and what I want, and am much quicker these days to sever connections or leave circumstances that don’t add to my life. I’m certainly not a permanently cheery or bouncy person but I’m generally curious, open and optimistic about the world and it’s a transformative formative way to live.

As marcus aurelius put it, ‘when you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.’

AnPiscin · 21/07/2025 12:56

It's a strongly held belief of mine that different ages suit different people. My DD hated being a baby/small child but is thriving as a teenager. My DS is the exact opposite - great baby/child, hating being a teenager. I was a fab teenager too, had a shit time in early 20s, loved loved loved my 30s and am now having a rough time in my 40s. I'm hoping 50s will be my decade again!

One thing to consider (despite your young age) is whether you're drifting into perimenopause? I definitely started at 39 and that's a big part of the problem for me. If the hormone change doesn't suit you it gives you a rather grim outlook on life.

ManchesterMama1 · 22/07/2025 22:11

Ihad2Strokes · 21/07/2025 11:58

ZOMBIE

WHY??

Why did you revive a ZOMBIE thread???

I mean why not?!

ManchesterMama1 · 22/07/2025 22:12

KnitFastDieWarm · 21/07/2025 12:10

god no, I’m 38 and vastly prefer being this age! I have very fond memories of tipsy nights out and adventures as a teen and twentysomething but i’ve got no desire to repeat those thing now. I still chat to strangers in cafes and pubs, learn new things, try new experiences, and try and maintain a generally positive and grateful attitude to the world. I also know my own mind and what I want, and am much quicker these days to sever connections or leave circumstances that don’t add to my life. I’m certainly not a permanently cheery or bouncy person but I’m generally curious, open and optimistic about the world and it’s a transformative formative way to live.

As marcus aurelius put it, ‘when you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.’

Edited

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