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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 'how the fuck will we manage'...

185 replies

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/12/2023 04:27

Post relates to Disabled Facilities Grant.

Finally, I have a date for the start of our disabled facilities grant (DFG) funded kitchen and bathroom refurb... i have been waiting almost 7 years for this!

2nd of January.

They want to do both at the same time. The contractors are meant to be managed by someone else... but in reality, we're on site - we have to live here and we can't move out whilst the works are done, oh and I also have to work whilst the work is on-going, from home or I have no income.

Um...

This is going to be hell isn't it?

Practical suggestions - DP, myself and three dogs will be spending all day confined to livingroom and back yard, with contractors having to access upstairs, hall and kitchen via the front of the house.

I have space to have kettle and a tub with basic food stuff in here.

We will apparently have a working toilet by the end of each day.

Realistically... how long would one expect this to take. From childhood I recall a similar size kitchen and bathroom job being done by my two parents and some child labour in around four days each, I expect they'll have more people though.. but then I also suspect it benefits them if it takes longer... and they know that whilst I am the client, I am not the person they directly answer to (something I am not overly happy with but theres nothing I can do). I am worried about piss-taking...

Any ideas whatsoever to reduce stress... stress tends to trigger autonomic dysfunction and I am already pretty much buggered working 3 shifts a week (2 til 10, thats another issue, I sleep til 12, ill have to be up and downstairs by 8.30 I expect at the latest!)...

I wish I had a responsible adult do sort this out for me, I realllllllly do, but the only one there is is... me!

OP posts:
RB68 · 23/12/2023 20:54

OK we are in the process of having work done and whilst initially I was thinking we would stay (we both work from home as well and have a dog,) I would definitely let them know you shift work. You don't have to be up and ready but obviously you may need to have used the facilities b4 they start. I would say you would be looking at around 2 weeks, but once they are on site you will have a better idea. I would perhaps look to stay somewhere else if you can or even ask about the possibility of a local premier inn or similar, maybe with disabled facilities where you could also work from?? That was the worst part for us - the demo point, the noise, the dust etc. Whatever you do check broadband connectivity and mobile phone coverage - the phone coverage is patchy here (cottage we moved out to)

Original poster
WiddlinDiddlin · 23/12/2023 21:16

Gonna clear one of my two desks as a temp kitchen, I'll get a cheapo kettle for builders to use and one of the christmas biccy tins shall be filled - keeping builders happy is key I feel!

I have a big water container ill have in here (has a tap on it) that we already have, so I can rinse out blender (shakes) and anything we have to use that isn't a paper plate...

DP is sorting the spare room (that he has been meaning to sort out for well over a YEAR so theres a fair bit of swearing coming from upstairs that I am pointedly ignoring) so we have room to box up stuff we don't need/want outta the way, right now.

Probably a good opportunity to bin off stuff we do not need!

Think positive - its a good motivator to declutter!

OP posts:
Calmdown14 · 23/12/2023 22:01

If you have a shower with a curtain currently, keep the curtains and tape it over the door to keep dust out.

If you have any old rugs, bits of lino, carpet etc, keep them. At the point the floors aren't in (last job) it makes it much easier to use the space and stops dust being trained through the rest of house.

Keep at least two proper or plastic plates handy to put paper ones on top of, you don't want a soggy dinner in your lap! Just use them like a plate cover!

Do you have noise cancelling headphones? Might help for work/general annoyance.

The worst bit is your house not being your own more so than the camping indoors but if you can lock yourself away it's not so bad.

It will be worth it and it is probably easier to suffer it all at once. On the plus side, by the time you know how bad it is you'll get it all out of way. Probably preferable to thinking 'i have to do this all over again in a month '!

Original poster
WiddlinDiddlin · 23/12/2023 22:22

Mmm yes, i might keep just a couple of plates out but use paper plates as 'covers'... good thinking!

I think im going to ask that someone else take calls so all I have to do is type at people for work... and yep, noise cancelling headphones and find something non-distracting to have on whilst I work.

I bet you're right @Calmdown14 it'll be the constant coming and going and not knowing exactly whats going on where (I can't lurk, there isn't space for me in my power chair to be lurking watching whats happening!) thats most stressful.

The filth won't matter much, we've been holding off doing things like other floors/stairs until this is done for YEARS anyway so I don't need to worry about ruined carpets etc. Just gotta stay sane and look after us and the animals (all in here, fish, dogs n frogs!).

OP posts:
restingbitchface30 · 23/12/2023 23:47

I recently had my kitchen redone with a housing association. It was shit, but not as shit as I’d expected. Took 10 days though and that was just a kitchen. I just had ready meals and takeaways for the whole time.

threatmatrix · 24/12/2023 01:51

I’d just be grateful it was being done. And for free.

HiEarthlings · 24/12/2023 02:22

I've recently had both my bathroom and kitchen completely ripped out and refitted. They weren't done at the same time, about a month's gap between, but it only took a week for each room. They started 8am on the Monday, finished most days around 3.30/4pm, with an hour for lunch midday, and were out the door by 2pm on the Friday, everything finished. They did make sure the toilet was connected every evening and the fridge/freezer was kept plugged in, albeit in the living room! I took the kettle, cups, coffee etc into the living room and my dog and I hunkered down there during the day whilst they worked. I didn't bother trying to cook at night whilst they were doing the kitchen, I had take out or went for a carvery, etc. I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of mess and the speed by which it was all completed.

Original poster
WiddlinDiddlin · 24/12/2023 04:52

@HiEarthlings That sounds very reassuring thanks!

@threatmatrix - wow that took 6 pages! What makes you think I am not grateful. Can I not be worried, angry its taken so fucking long (this shouldn't have taken more than 18 months!) & grateful its a scheme that exists at all, all at the same time?

OP posts:
Ukrainebaby23 · 24/12/2023 06:02

You could say you've got Covid, rebook for later in January when you can get dogs in kennels and book yourselves into a travel lodge or something.

Or just embrace the chaos and get it over with. Happy New Place.

SALWARP2023 · 24/12/2023 06:57

Expect 2 weeks. Use the local library or community cafe for respite. Try to be grateful as you are having in excess of £10k worth of renovation for nothing. Be nice to the contractors as it pays to keep them onside. Simple thi gs like hot or cold drinks and a cheap pack of biscuits will do it as well as being polite and considerate.

ThePix · 24/12/2023 07:41

Sounds very stressful but you definitely sound like you have your head around it now!
what a long wait.. pleased for you, it will make your life so much easier won’t it!

Daffodilsandtuplips · 24/12/2023 08:44

Coming on to defend OP, she is grateful for the work, she has said so.
She has also said she can’t move out to a hotel or B&B, she’s housebound and in a wheelchair.
She can’t cancel the work and ask for it to be rescheduled for two weeks later, It’s taken seven years to get this far. Do you really think the fitters have no other work on the books.

GRex · 24/12/2023 08:55

Do you have any decent neighbours you could chat to about it? We've supplied fresh water and had the toilet available in the daytime when the neighbours were having work done. If it had been a more convenient time we'd have let them work from our spare room; you'd have to organise the dogs but other dog friendly types such as borrowmydoggy might help with them if it's just a couple of weeks. Is there an accessible local cafe that you might be able to camp in for the day if your DH drops you off?

Marieb19 · 24/12/2023 09:14

Generally contractors work on a regular basis for the council to carry out this work and need to do a good job to retain the work. The Council's project manager are experienced in overseeing these projects and guaranteeing quality of work and value for money. All building work is disruptive but is generally worth hassle in the long run.

Justfacts · 24/12/2023 10:03

This. Ask friends and family for support

threatmatrix · 24/12/2023 10:33

WiddlinDiddlin · 24/12/2023 04:52

@HiEarthlings That sounds very reassuring thanks!

@threatmatrix - wow that took 6 pages! What makes you think I am not grateful. Can I not be worried, angry its taken so fucking long (this shouldn't have taken more than 18 months!) & grateful its a scheme that exists at all, all at the same time?

Worried yes, angry? I’d love to get this done for free so I’d be elated and would put up with everything. I had an extension built but my partner decided to leave in the middle of it, two floors, bathroom etc. I had a George Forman grill and a tiny shower for 5 years. Get over yourself.

Original poster
WiddlinDiddlin · 24/12/2023 12:32

@threatmatrix I'll put up with it, I have zero choice unless I want to carry on pissing in a bucket in my living room and strip washing at my desk for the rest of my life...

I don't really need to justify why im worried to you, you clearly have zero understanding of what living with life limiting disability and chronic illness is like.

Thankyou to literally everyone else though, I do feel much more like this is not actually going to finish me off!

OP posts:
Daffodilsandtuplips · 24/12/2023 12:49

threatmatrix · 24/12/2023 10:33

Worried yes, angry? I’d love to get this done for free so I’d be elated and would put up with everything. I had an extension built but my partner decided to leave in the middle of it, two floors, bathroom etc. I had a George Forman grill and a tiny shower for 5 years. Get over yourself.

Show quote history

I’m sure OP would swop her disability in a heartbeat with you.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 24/12/2023 13:10

threatmatrix · 24/12/2023 10:33

Worried yes, angry? I’d love to get this done for free so I’d be elated and would put up with everything. I had an extension built but my partner decided to leave in the middle of it, two floors, bathroom etc. I had a George Forman grill and a tiny shower for 5 years. Get over yourself.

Show quote history

You were still clearly better off then, as you had a toilet and shower you were able to access (and free of a complete arsehole when he legged it) - unlike, say a powerchair user who hasn't?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 24/12/2023 13:13

Oh, by the way, @WiddlinDiddlin , I'd ask about the arrangements for heating the wet room and any insulation underneath the flooring - if it's lino laid direct onto concrete and just a towel radiator, it is brutally cold - and check that there is a decent sized slope and drain, as the standard (cheap) metal disc one can't keep up with water flow. Although that could be just our contractor cutting corners.

THEDEACON · 24/12/2023 14:12

You have my sympathy most people don't realise how difficult this kind of thing is to deal with when you are disabled Good luck !

Original poster
WiddlinDiddlin · 24/12/2023 14:16

Yes, bathroom heating is something I need to clarify, as I know it is in the plan but I cannot for the life of me remember what the actual method of heating is going to be! Theres also some query about my boiler, one person has seen it, condemned it saying the supply isn't the right size for the boiler and someone else then saw it and said its fine... I need to know because if its going to run extra heating/new shower... will it bloody work!

Forming a list of questions so when people actually are here/responding to emails I can start getting answers!

OP posts:
Feedthatgoat · 24/12/2023 18:15

We lived through a full house refurb 5 years ago that took nearly 6 months. We are both in our 70s. You just get used to cooking in a microwave and air fryer. You also get used to not caring what the house looks like and not doing much cleaning, just keeping on top of things. To be honest I quite enjoyed living in a pig sty for a while.

Original poster
WiddlinDiddlin · 24/12/2023 18:40

Thanks Feedthat - I shall embrace the 'fuck it' approach!😁

OP posts:
Tarantella6 · 24/12/2023 20:45

We have an extension that I think was built with a disability grant. The comment above about concrete reminded me - our wet room is the same, just glued onto concrete and yes it is unbelievably cold (although as an extension it has a lot of outside wall to be fair)

Also all the pipes are visible which doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but does look a bit shit, if there is any possibility of boxing them in it would look better.

Also, during our paper bowl and plate phase I managed to spill milk all over a box of matches and they don't light very well any more, so the pp saying don't use them in isolation is right!