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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu To take one child on holiday?

44 replies

anon3738 · 22/12/2023 01:27

So my daughter is nearly 14 and dreams of going to New York for Xmas. Just pricing up for next year and am I an awful parent for not including my (will then be) 9 year old. I could take him but 90% of the very short trip (looking at 3 nights) will be shopping and he’s a whinger. would you judge me for leaving one child at home? Not alone obviously. Or do I just suck it up and take both kids.
(If he didn’t go I Would probs do like a weekend in Lego land or similar just me and him)

OP posts:
PeloMom · 22/12/2023 01:44

Nothing wrong with taking (somewhat equal) trips with kids separately

autienotnaughty · 22/12/2023 01:47

Perfectly fine that way they each get something they will enjoy

Fancycheese · 22/12/2023 01:58

I’d say it’s absolutely fine and a lovely thing for you to have 1 on 1 time with your daughter. It doesn’t sound as though your son would enjoy it anyway.

MaryShelley1818 · 22/12/2023 08:42

I think it's fine to take both children on separate trips they'd enjoy. You could combine Legoland with a few days in London to even it out a bit.

I have DS6 and DD2 (nearly 3) and already do different nights away with them.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/12/2023 11:02

Separate trips sound completely fine!

If the trip is aimed at shopping with a teenager who enjoys that, dragging along a pre teen who does not will just spoil that.

JamieKnows · 22/12/2023 11:04

90% shopping in New York? Really?

It's not all that tbh!

StillWantingADog · 22/12/2023 11:06

I think it’s fine as long as the other child gets a similar trip tailored to them at an appropriate time

MrsSkylerWhite · 22/12/2023 11:08

Shopping in NY would be very dull for the average 9 year old.

I took ours, 9 years apart, to Eurodisney separately. Could you manage something like that with him?

StillWantingADog · 22/12/2023 11:08

Btw for a 9 yo I would highly recommend Legoland in Billund. Went last summer. Lots of other stuff to do there except for the original Legoland (lots of threads on here about it).

NoraLuka · 22/12/2023 11:10

Would your 9 year old even want to go to New York for the shopping? It would be a waste of money if he doesn’t. It’s fine to leave him if you go somewhere else with him. Who would be looking after him? You could maybe sell it as him getting to have a fun time with that person.

Grilly · 22/12/2023 11:11

In theory, a great idea. But:

Do you mean actually taking her over Christmas? I wouldn’t separate the family at Christmas.

And what will your youngest be doing whilst you’re away? If he’s just at home with Dad that’s fine, if he’s staying with cousins he hates it’s less fine.

AgnesX · 22/12/2023 11:22

Why don't you ask the afore mentioned 9 year old if he'd want to go. If he's not remotely interested there's your answer.

Mariposistaa · 22/12/2023 11:24

Have a girlie trip - it sounds great!

caringcarer · 22/12/2023 12:17

autienotnaughty · 22/12/2023 01:47

Perfectly fine that way they each get something they will enjoy

I expect he'd prefer a weekend at Legoland to a shopping trip.

ReindeerShelter · 22/12/2023 12:19

Would you be away for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day/Boxing Day? If so then yes, YABU.

Hoglet70 · 22/12/2023 12:21

Are you Brummymummyof2?! In which case, Ethan, you aren't ever getting a trip by yourself 😂

Mirrormeback · 22/12/2023 12:28

I wouldn't take my DS because he'd hate all the waking and shopping and would moan the whole time

Plus he couldn't care less if I was just going with DD or not

My friend took her DD to New York and her DS somewhere else as special gifts

Mirrormeback · 22/12/2023 12:29

I took DD to Paris on my own this year and we had such a brilliant time together

DS nor bothered about not coming

ploikj · 22/12/2023 12:32

I think equal separate trips would be fine, but not Legoland. I would say you'll take him to where he wants to go when he's the same age (within reason financially!) My kids love America so if I took one and not the other they would be jealous. If at 14 he still loves Legoland and chooses that, fine, but I don't think they are equal.

pinkspeakers · 22/12/2023 12:35

Nothing wrong with that. Trip to NYC much more suitable for your daughter than your son. Just so long as DS is offered similar trip with you at an appropriate point. It doesn't have to be this year.

FlamingoFlamboyance · 22/12/2023 13:30

Hoglet70 · 22/12/2023 12:21

Are you Brummymummyof2?! In which case, Ethan, you aren't ever getting a trip by yourself 😂

I was thinking exactly the same thing 😂

Sennelier1 · 29/12/2023 18:58

Perfectly fine for doing different things on different times with your two children, but over christmas? And also : New York is so much more than only shopping (you can shop in every big city), so I might want to postpone the New York trip till your daughter is ready for more than just retail 😊

CeeceeBloomingdale · 29/12/2023 19:02

Not unreasonable as long as DS is onboard and happy with his weekend away.

However shopping in New York isn't all that and quite frankly it's a complete waste of a trip there to spend 90% of your time shopping.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 29/12/2023 19:04

Also this is funny as it's true

Aibu To take one child on holiday?
Heyhoherewegoagain · 29/12/2023 19:13

I was in NYC last week and it was AMAZING! Yes it was busy but wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Absolute trip of a lifetime.