Aibu To take one child on holiday?

[anon3738]

So my daughter is nearly 14 and dreams of going to New York for Xmas. Just pricing up for next year and am I an awful parent for not including my (will then be) 9 year old. I could take him but 90% of the very short trip (looking at 3 nights) will be shopping and he’s a whinger. would you judge me for leaving one child at home? Not alone obviously. Or do I just suck it up and take both kids.
(If he didn’t go I Would probs do like a weekend in Lego land or similar just me and him)

Depends on the 9 year old. No way would my 9 year old choose Lego land over New York!

Nothing wrong with taking just one child so long as the other child gets something of equal value. A trip to Legoland is not equal to a trip to New York. Imo it would look like very much favouritism towards your eldest.

Yes I agree I’m surprised people think Lego land is a suitable substitute my 9 year old wouldn’t be impressed!

😂😂 same thing crossed my mind when I read this. That boy is never getting his trip. Maybe a premier Inn at Windsor will make up for a NYC trip.

I think it's quite obvious the Legoland visit is only being suggested to justify such a high value spend on one child over the other. The wording makes DS look like an afterthought unfortunately. I'm sure that's absolutely not the case, but a trip to Legoland is not even in the same league as a shopping trip to NYC.

Would you really go to New York for 3 days to shop? It's not worth it. I did 5 nights there and was totally exhausted and felt so rushed. It's an insanely massive city with millions of people. Give yourself a week to do it properly.

100% separate trips. No point in spending money on making 1 kid miserable. On a much smaller scale I took my 12yo and 9yo shopping today. 12yo in her element. 9yo miserable as hell. I need to make it up to them very very soon!

Why spend all that to shop? But no the different trips are fine.

Nothing wrong with taking one and not the other. We are going to Disneyland in Feb with our 5yo for her birthday. Leaving our 21mo twins at home with my mum because it just wouldnt be worth us going with 2 so young. We will take them all one day when they will appreciate it. I did ask around a few people though as like you I felt a little guilty leaving them at first. Every single person said go for it. Just try to take them on equal trips, like others have said I dont believe NY and Legoland are in the same league. Your DS may feel a little unfairly treated with that difference.

A 3 night trip with 90% shopping is such a waste of money, unless you live an hours drive away. Otherwise what on earth are you thinking? There is so much to see and do!

As for not taking both kids, I have always done separate things with mine, that's totally fine.

I really wouldn't advise the USA for shopping- exchange rates and the generally high costs there combined with shops moving out of cities (as workers are working from home more) means it's no longer a great d destination. Now if you want to go sightseeing that's different

My dd loves to have ‘girlie’ trips with me and it’s something I hope will continue when she is older.
Since I started doing this my DH has started taking our DS on trips to things like sporting festivals that me and dd wouldn’t enjoy.

Do you do any activities with just yourself plus DS and DH plus DD? Just curious as it's a very gendered split there, I'm sure DS would appreciate the one on one time with mum and DD would appreciate this with dad too.

Well my ds’s main hobby is one I taught him which he does everyday so we get plenty of time together. My DH is also good at giving my dd time one on one. It’s just when it comes to holidays we have different tastes. My dd is autistic and I let her take the lead and decide what we do each day so she loves that. When we go away all together she struggles with having to let others pick activities.

Going to NY and expecting to spend 90% of the trip shopping is a total waste. There is so much to see in NY. You will find the shopping disappointing as there is very little there that you can’t buy here, no bargains unlike 10/15 years ago. You’d find shopping in London a better experience.

If you only have three days to spend in NYC, go for Christmas OR for shopping, not both. Things will be open on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but the only shops open will be tourist-focused and overpriced. Regular shops will mostly close early on Christmas Even and reopen the morning of the 26, although some boutiques will be closed on the 26th and some through the whole week between Christmas and New Year. For shopping, either go the first week in December (Christmassy but slightly less than insanely busy) or after Christmas for the sales and cheaper hotel prices and get out by New Year's Eve morning.

You can definitely do two separate trips, just make sure the trip for your son is something he really wants.

Absolutely fine to do separate trips, but they should be something equally special to each child. I would say Legoland is far cheaper, a more common place to go and much less special than New York. Maybe a 9 year old would think differently though and money would mean less.

Fine to take them separately as long as you do something equal with your son

I have an aunt who takes all her grandchildren, individually, on a certain trip when they reach a certain age.
I'd probably do the weekend before Xmas though rather than be apart on Xmas day.

Edit: didn't actually finish my point. I think it's fine to only take one, and to not feel like you have to immediately book something for the other within a short time frame!
I think one on one time with teenagers is actually really important