To think DH is being a complete arse about Christmas?

[disgustingbehaviourami]

I'll keep this as brief as possible...

Me and DH are going on holiday for a week over new year with his family. So naturally I figured I would spend Xmas day with my own family, as most years we spend it with his lately.

I invited him along and he declined stating he wants to be with his family which I found unreasonable given we are going on holiday with his.

Anyway, I decided to go and stay at my family's from Xmas eve to help with the dinner preparations and he starts kicking off saying I'm being completely selfish leaving him alone Xmas eve.

AIBU to think he was the one being an arse here and that staying at family's Xmas Eve to Xmas day is no big deal under the above circumstances?

Yanbu

Yanbu. He is being a prick

He's the arse.

YANBU. He’s being incredibly selfish spending time with his parents at Christmas and again New Year and I would be telling him that

and I would go Christmas Eve and leave him to it, he can spend it with his family as he is that keen on them

Yes he’s being an arse. Enjoy Christmas Eve and day with your family. It’s unreasonable of him to insist on you missing out on your family when you are both going on holiday with his. What’s yo stop him going to his family for Christmas Eve since he’s declined yours?

Well he can’t have it all his own way can he?

He was being selfish by refusing to come with you on Xmas day and you’ve gone and got your own back by sleeping out on Xmas Eve

petty but oh well he’ll think twice about trying to pull this again next year!

YANBU, he’s being a dick. Does he have form for controlling and manipulative behaviour?

YANBU.
Don't back down

Nope yanbu he's being selfish and wants everything his own way. Go and enjoy Christmas with your family and he can do the same since he thinks that what he wants and his family is more important than you.

YANBU, he is being an arse, but if you've spent every Christmas with his family until now, surely it's not a huge surprise that he's objecting to your plans?

It all seems very one-sided.

He's a jingle bell end.

@AnotherEmma not every Xmas at the start of our relationship we would go to both homes but the last few years since Covid I've often gone to my family's alone or his with him

YANBU

Split your times if he doesn't agree.
It's not great, you should both spend time with both of your families or alternate every year.

YANBU. He can go with you or not!! It is his choice!! You have not said no to going on holiday with his family so what is his problem?
He sounds a little childish by throwing a tantrum because he will be on his own on Christmas Eve. He can join his family and you can enjoy the preparations and family time with your relatives and then go on holiday with him and his family.

(Please read in the sarcastic tone it is written in).

It’s very selfish of you to not prioritise his needs and wants consistently above yours, especially when he’s only had a few years of having every Christmas the way he likes it, still gets to have Christmas with his family and then has an upcoming holiday with them. No wonder he’s cross. Have you forgotten the word revolves around him?!

Please read this man the riot act. He’s getting too big for his boots.

YANBU

He's selfish and trying to control everything, don't let him.

That's how it starts controlling little by little x

This. This made me giggle uncontrollably

And only 11 months later!

However did you find this to ressurect it?

I know.... it randomly popped up on the feed for me as I was looking for advice on a similar situation and didn't realise that it was so long ago. Anyway, it's made me smile and brightened up my morning as I said it to DP who was grumbling about Xmas. Broken the tension and it helped!

Op it's incredibly selfish behavior and I would just do what I wanted like he is

They're probably well into this year's Christmas argument by now, it's a zombie.

And now you’ve picked a zombie thread back into circulation! <slow clap>