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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP believes some psychics are real, I think he's lost it

319 replies

Dpi8 · 21/12/2023 00:09

A discussion about a documentary I watched last night descended into an argument today when chatting over dinner. It was about Derren Brown and how he tests so called psychic mediums in an attempt to prove that it's a load of old rubbish - which I agree with him on.

He got majorly arsey with me when I told him about cold reading and the other techniques they use, such as using vague statements that could apply to most people in the sitters demographic. IE, telling an elderly lady that they have a parent in the spirit world who had a dodgy knee.

I asked him for some examples from which he reached his conclusion that some are genuine but he wasn't forthcoming with anything of any substance, simply mentioning some bloke from the Ghost Adventures series who wanders around buildings 'debunking' certain things for plausible deniabily then making up shite of his own to 'prove' the contact.

This is a hill I'm prepared to die on as I will not accept that such tosh is in any way genuine.

AIBU to say that absolutely all psychics are full of shit?

OP posts:
WhatsTheUseOfWorrying · 21/12/2023 10:47

Digestivechocolatebiscuit · 21/12/2023 08:47

I'm one of those psychics.. l have actually worked with my local police force in the past..( yes they use us).. l can't go into detail but it was to their benefit and all over the local news .. but they never say they used me or other psychics.

Edited

It must make you very proud when DI Smith thanks you for your help when you turn up to the station to say that you’ve had a premonition that the break-in at the supermarket was the work of a gang of young men.

And I’m sure DI Smith doesn’t file his notes under ‘B’ for ‘Bin’.

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/12/2023 10:48

It's an inoffensive opinion that harms no one

Some would argue that fake psychics do do harm by preying on the vulnerable and grieving.

CostelloJones · 21/12/2023 10:48

I also think that it’s worth considering that a bit of woo brings comfort to a lot of people.

Eg. Sarah lost her dad and says that white feathers are a sign he sends her when she most needs it. Probably rubbish but if it’s bringing her comfort and not hurting anyone what does it matter?

Ortila · 21/12/2023 10:49

Judgmental, much?!

Damn right.

Elphame · 21/12/2023 10:50

AIBU to say that absolutely all psychics are full of shit?

Yes you are. There are plenty of genuine ones but they don't generally hold public events which are indeed full of sham psychics and are for entertainment purposes only

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/12/2023 10:53

Elphame · 21/12/2023 10:50

AIBU to say that absolutely all psychics are full of shit?

Yes you are. There are plenty of genuine ones but they don't generally hold public events which are indeed full of sham psychics and are for entertainment purposes only

Why do they have doorbells?

EmmaEmerald · 21/12/2023 10:53

@Bobbotgegrinch So you didn't see a ghost.

I see spiders when my mental health is that bad, I get it. But you didn't see a ghost, for a minute I thought you were doing an elaborate tease out trick, as it's this thread.

Bluela18 · 21/12/2023 10:55

There is definitely some cold readers I've experienced it myself, trying to get information out of me or stating obvious things that could be true like oh I see an elderly lady she is holding flowers for you. Most people do have elderly relatives that have passed away.

I have had strange, maybe sixth sense experiences . I was shopping and saw a man, not old, who I knew and had a small feeling he would pass away soon. I totally forgot about that thought and a few days later someone said to me oh did you hear about this person, he died at the weekend. I remembered my thought and said to myself that's strange. I've had a few more things like that.

Definitely not worth to fight over though, some people believe and some dont

Ortila · 21/12/2023 10:56

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/12/2023 10:53

Why do they have doorbells?

Show quote history

Indeed.

Why don't they have winning lottery tickets?

Elphame · 21/12/2023 10:57

Singasongofsixpence24 · 21/12/2023 00:51

I've namchanged to say I am psychic and it's mostly awful. I don't practice professionally and have lost many 'friends' because all they want is card readings/ healings and what do you think will happen/ any weird feelings etc. Because I'm accurate its quite addictive for them. When I put up boundaries they soon stop calling. It's very hard to know a person's loved one is going to die and not be able to tell them or worse again know when and where and how my own mother would die. Sadly I often really hope I'm wrong or some details are wrong but too often they're not. It's really very painful and can be nightmareish at times. I don't tell new acquaintances that I can do anything like that anymore.

This is how some of the ones I know feel too. One has done her best to "turn off" her abilities for years

None of them practice professionally and are very selective in who knows about what they can do

Pizdietz · 21/12/2023 10:57

Possiblynotever · 21/12/2023 10:27

I do not know if this helps. When my DC was almost 3, we took a rather long car trip, just the two of us.
At some point, out of the blue, she remarked: " Mummy, the car is hungry". I then checked, and, to my shock, I was running out of fuel.
The petrol station sign was fast approaching, and I pulled over.
I then realised that the next station was 50 miles away, and I would have had to stop way before reaching it.
My daughter did not know anything about cars, and, more importantly, from her position, she could not see the fuel level.
Did she have 🔮 powers? Did she simply want to stop? Did she just decide that the car needed food because she wanted food?(I do not think so, as she refused to eat).
I have always wondered...

Cars must be her spirit animal 🚗

Dotcheck · 21/12/2023 10:58

OP if you got to the stage where you have married this man, and you had no idea he believed these things, then his belief isn’t going to impact you day to day

Elphame · 21/12/2023 10:58

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/12/2023 10:53

Why do they have doorbells?

Show quote history

How do you know they have? Huge assumption there on your part.

Bobbotgegrinch · 21/12/2023 10:59

EmmaEmerald · 21/12/2023 10:53

@Bobbotgegrinch So you didn't see a ghost.

I see spiders when my mental health is that bad, I get it. But you didn't see a ghost, for a minute I thought you were doing an elaborate tease out trick, as it's this thread.

Well yes, that was kind of my point in mentioning it in my first post. That even when I'm seeing stuff that lots of people would attribute to the paranormal, I'm still being a huge skeptic about it.

Anonymouseposter · 21/12/2023 10:59

OP, you may be right but YABU to make it a hill to die on because he has a different opinion to you.

ValerieMoore · 21/12/2023 11:00

TheShellBeach · 21/12/2023 09:56

That was just guesswork. Red was a very popular car colour at the time. It was obvious that the girls had been murdered, right from the beginning, so the shallow grave thing was hardly inspired. Kevin Wells walked past every house in Soham when he searched for his child.

Come on, you can see where the charlatan got all this from.

Edited
Show quote history

Do you think he watched the interviews with Maxine and Huntley and just decided it was him ? (His car was visible in the footage)

On another note, Kevin had an impulse to keep on returning to the area of College Close on the night the children went missing, even interacting with the killer late at night. To me that suggests perception beyond what is generally considered normal.

ChristmasCanFucawfee · 21/12/2023 11:02

I wouldn’t die on this hill, as you’ve obviously been together long enough that this shouldn’t be a deal breaker!

I am on your team however OP. If any of this was real, someone would have proved it scientifically and every single decent study that has been done has completely debunked it.

WhatsTheUseOfWorrying · 21/12/2023 11:04

Ortila · 21/12/2023 10:56

Indeed.

Why don't they have winning lottery tickets?

Show quote history

Obviously it doesn’t work like that!

If you can contact the dead it’s only sensible that they’d tell you that it’s lovely on the other side, that someone in the family has a bad back and that a deceased relative (name starts with T or is it S?) says hello.

As for seeing into the future, it’s very cloudy, lots of mist and things are indistinct…but it looks like the number 21 will feature in a lottery draw soon.

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/12/2023 11:04

Elphame · 21/12/2023 10:58

How do you know they have? Huge assumption there on your part.

Show quote history

Because I'm psychic, obviously. How sceptical of you.

DamnUserName21 · 21/12/2023 11:05

NonPlayerCharacter · 21/12/2023 10:48

It's an inoffensive opinion that harms no one

Some would argue that fake psychics do do harm by preying on the vulnerable and grieving.

I was referring to the partner's opinion, not the actions of psychics, real or otherwise.

StaunchMomma · 21/12/2023 11:05

This is a hill I'm prepared to die on

Aaaaaand the most pointless Hill to Die On of the year award goes to.......

Seriously, OP - let the man have his own opinions and accept they don't have to match yours.

henrysugar12 · 21/12/2023 11:07

I am sceptical, I have been to some psychic shows and had a couple of readings where it's easy to see that they have "plants" in the audience or are cold reading. But I've also visited one who has told me stuff that is impossible for her to know about. She's given me names of people that aren't the common Mary, John etc... none of which I'm linked to on social media and I gave her a different name anyway so she couldn't have researched first.

And I think as long as someone is getting comfort from what they are being told and aren't told anything bad, then what's the harm?

ElsieMc · 21/12/2023 11:12

I posted on a similar thread a few weeks ago giving vague details on accuracies when I had a reading. I am a sceptic I must say but I found it particularly chilling. What I didn't say, for self preservation reasons, was she actually named my brother, why he left and asked how I felt about being adopted and so forth.

I received a lot of scorn over the use of "you turn the key at number 3..." because it is a renowned generic response and yes, perhaps I am very stupid and gullible here - as is the man in uniform response. But one particular poster responded with such scorn, contempt and nastiness I was compelled to respond strongly whereupon they backed down somewhat. I think it brings strong feelings to the surface and if it brings you some peace for whatever reason, then so be it.

Undineimmor · 21/12/2023 11:12

What if your husband was a committed Christian, believed water was turned to wine, and that a God he could neither see ir hear was giving him directions and forgiving him. Would that be a hill you would be prepared to die on ZOP.

Realistically, nobody knows definitely. People who hold extremely strong views based on nothing, or the opinions of Derren Brown, who has made a good living saying this kind of thing, are being closed minded.

DamnUserName21 · 21/12/2023 11:25

Ortila · 21/12/2023 10:49

Judgmental, much?!

Damn right.

Haha. 😍