Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tested positive for Covid- AIBU to still host Christmas?

63 replies

Bedraggledmumoftwo · 20/12/2023 10:08

Hi All, I tested positive for covid on Sunday night. Due to host Christmas for extended family 8 days later...

I am viewing this as actually being good timing as I should be clear by then- there are literally no rules these days and even the very vague guidance just says 5 days.

My parents ( old but not immunocompromised) and extended family are supposed to be coming here for Christmas Day.

Haven't told my mum yet as I wanted to think it through first. I will talk to her later today but wanted some opinions.

Would you still host Christmas?

OP posts:
olympicsrock · 20/12/2023 10:11

I think you will be fine unless other members of the household catch it between now and then

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 20/12/2023 10:12

Im sure that you will be fine (but didnt know anyone still tested)

EdgarsTale · 20/12/2023 10:12

You need to retest & let family know. Their choice whether to come or not.

Sarah2891 · 20/12/2023 10:13

You have to tell them. It would be wrong not to give them the choice.

Original poster
Bedraggledmumoftwo · 20/12/2023 10:29

I will tell them I was just trying to decide whether I wanted to encourage them to come or suggest it best to cancel. I was partly waiting to make sure my kids didnt turn positive in the interim in which case I would have to cancel. But the kids couldnt smell when our cat had poo'ed somewhere last week and the stench was overwhelming, so I am pretty sure they have already had it and passed it to me rather than the other way round. They are negative so far but will test them when they get home this afternoon before we ring grandma😬

OP posts:
Tinysoxxx · 20/12/2023 10:40

I would be interested in these replies as it’s a really grey area. Of the 2 people I know that tested the day after symptoms, who tested positive recently, one was only testing positive for 2 days and one testing positive for 12 days. But there’s lots of conflicting advice as to how much risk of transmission after 10 days positive. And then there’s the slight risk of surface contact transmission that there’s never really been a consensus on.

I would explain the facts and so people can decide for themselves. I would be testing everyday so you can see when you turn negative. Then air then dettol the hell out of your home if you test negative and everyone still wants to come. Then if a relative does get it and the consequences are unfortunate, it won’t have any repercussions on your mental health. You could always try and rationalise they could have got it somewhere else but having seen the trauma of those who know they were the only person who could have given their relatives a virus, I know I would delay the meal for a few days just to be sure.

PopandFizz · 20/12/2023 10:47

I think it depends on the people.

My mum got covid recently (I was annoyed my mum tested right when she was due to have DD because someone at work suggested it - she works from home!) and they weren't ill with it, just had it. Dad didn't even test to see if he ever got it. We decided to go ahead because the world doesn't stop for covid now.

However, my mum (and then us) didn't go see my grandparents until she didn't test positive because it effects the eldery worse.

I would say it's their decision but I know my nan wouldnt want to say 'no i don't want to come and potentially get ill' for fear of hurting my mums feelings so feel it's a hard spot to put them in.
But if they are healthy older people, then just leave it up to them. They are adults capable of making a choice. I'd just phrase it as 'i'd understand if you don;t want to come'
But you need to do it quickly so they can make alternative plans if they don't! If you found out sunday you should really have let them know by now so they can make plans.

WildFlowerBees · 20/12/2023 10:50

I think I'd let them know test again nearer the time and let them decide. Hopefully you'll be negative by then and feeling well.

sweetpickle23 · 20/12/2023 10:52

I think it's weird to test if you're not open to the possibility of it impacting your plans. Why test otherwise?

I'd give everyone the facts and go from there.

GMsAWinner · 20/12/2023 10:53

First thing to think about, will you be well enough to host? Last time, I went back to work eight day after testing positive (in retrospect I'd had it three days before then) and I was really shaky and light headed.

Yes, best to let them know today, that way they can have a think and you've all got time to get whatever food will be needed wherever each family is.

When you've had covid before, do you know how long you've stayed positive for? First time I was positive for 13 days, this time I had a faint test on day 7 (not sure when it'd have been negative).

ManchesterLu · 20/12/2023 10:56

You need to let them know so they can make their own decision. Also, there's a chance you won't feel up to it yourself.

Remember Christmas is only a day. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen like you hoped, or if it has to be postponed, or whatever.

brickastley · 20/12/2023 11:09

O would tell them and make sure each person knows you don't mind if they cancel but also are happy to still host them if they choose.

RoseAndRose · 20/12/2023 11:14

If everyone in the household who gets it is 5+ days since onset and is feeling better, then yes do it.

But you really should warn your guests, so they can decide if they still want to come.

AlltheFs · 20/12/2023 11:16

Yes, if you are well enough.

One time I was fine after 5 days, the other I was on my knees on day 8 and ended up
in bed for 10 days, absolutely awfully ill.

You need a plan B.

HenPenJen1789 · 20/12/2023 11:21

I’m the same, tested positive on Sunday and still in bed today. I’ve told my family the situation and have left it to them whether they want to come. I’ve offered to test again at the weekend. They’ve all previously been quite blasé about Covid (as in, not too worried about catching it), including my parents who are in their 70’s. If I’m still not feeling great they’ll all have to pitch in and help.

Tippletoomany · 20/12/2023 11:50

Agree with others, it’s now on us all to make a decision how we feel about it. There’s still a little while to go so you could test negative by then but just let them know you’re not sure if you will test negative and it’s up to them if they come or don’t.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 20/12/2023 12:00

It depends on (1) how poorly you may be and (2) who you have coming . The most recent time I had it, I would definitely have been fine after a week - but would be letting any guests know and asking their opinion . Ie give them plenty of notice so they can choose whether to come or not - or at least get alternative food in, in case you aren't up to hosting . Depends a bit on the age of your parents - I would worry more if in their 70s or over than in their 60s.

hartman · 22/12/2023 13:48

Test over the next few days so you know whether you are still likely to be infectious, and then let them know so they can make their own decision.

Babyroobs · 22/12/2023 13:53

I have a similar dilemma. Tested positive on tues ( most of the office have tested positive). Tested again today and it is still strongly positive. DH is considered high risk ( asthma, immunosuppressive drugs etc) and then tells me he didn't get around to having the latest covid jab he was called up for ! So I am now trying to isolate within the household avoiding dh. Really don't want to be doing this on Xmas day. Elderly dad will now be spending Christmas day on his own as he didn't have his covid jab either and so won't come. I just keep thinking aren't we meant to be just carrying on as normal but then would feel terrible if either dh or df caught it and was really ill.

cheezncrackers · 22/12/2023 13:57

You really want to avoid the elderly catching it as so many of them become quite ill. Some breeze through it, of course, but I've had two close elderly relatives (in their 80s) that were very unwell (they are brother and sister, so no doubt there is some familial reason why both were so badly affected). They both had breathing difficulties, one ended up on hospital and then a month later she had a stroke. So I'd be cautious if you're still testing positive on Sunday, although obviously it's their choice. Have they had Covid before?

WhateverMate · 22/12/2023 14:08

Yes, I'd tell them and let them make their own decisions.

Mirabai · 22/12/2023 14:38

There’s a poster on here who lost both parents (old but fit and healthy) to Covid this year within days of each other.

I don’t know why you’re even hesitating - of course you tell them. If they were my parents I’d cancel Christmas while they still have time to get some Christmas food.

Mirabai · 22/12/2023 14:40

Btw I had it in March and tested + for 14 days. I’m still not well now.

Ladysodor · 22/12/2023 14:45

I’d tell people and they can make up their own mind. Personally it wouldn’t put me of attending, life has to get back to normal.

Letterbix · 22/12/2023 14:48

Ive currently got this dilemma as I'm really ill and due to host Monday and wondering whether to test for COVID or not

Swipe left for the next trending thread