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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tested positive for Covid- AIBU to still host Christmas?

63 replies

Bedraggledmumoftwo · 20/12/2023 10:08

Hi All, I tested positive for covid on Sunday night. Due to host Christmas for extended family 8 days later...

I am viewing this as actually being good timing as I should be clear by then- there are literally no rules these days and even the very vague guidance just says 5 days.

My parents ( old but not immunocompromised) and extended family are supposed to be coming here for Christmas Day.

Haven't told my mum yet as I wanted to think it through first. I will talk to her later today but wanted some opinions.

Would you still host Christmas?

OP posts:
guineverehadgreeneyes · 22/12/2023 15:07

"dettol the hell out of your home"

The chances of catching Covid from surfaces is very, very small. It is spread via airborne particles and droplets. If you are still intending to host but worried you might still be positive then wear a 3M FFP3 mask around your quests and ventilate rooms well - and give all your guests the option of not coming.

"life has to get back to normal."

There is no "normal" now - not unless you don't care whether you infect others or potentially expose them to the risk of Long Covid, which could mean years of ill health, disability and job loss. And that could be you, too.

guineverehadgreeneyes · 22/12/2023 15:08

Letterbix · 22/12/2023 14:48

Ive currently got this dilemma as I'm really ill and due to host Monday and wondering whether to test for COVID or not

Yes, of course you should test - irresponsible not to.

TheSnowyOwl · 22/12/2023 15:13

I would tell everyone and also test again in the morning they are due to see whether you are still positive.

Most people I know who have had covid recently have felt quite unwell for a while afterwards although I’ve been in lots of close contact with positive people (include DC and DH) and didn’t catch it at all (I am vaccinated) so it’s not a given you will pass it on, especially to those who are older or vulnerable (because they will presumably also be vaccinated).

DontKaleMyVibe · 22/12/2023 15:14

I would let everyone invited know, and day you'll still host for those comfortable attending. Maybe offer to test your household again before Christmas.
As an invitee I would have to decline - I couldn't risk catching covid and not being able to attend the office the week after Xmas as I've important office based tasks to do (for a change).

Dotjones · 22/12/2023 15:28

In this position you should just tell your guests as soon as possible and let them decide whether to attend or not. The sooner the better so that they still have time to make alternative arrangements. Even if other members of your household don't have symptoms they could still be positive so you should all test regularly.

Christmasmiracle2019 · 22/12/2023 15:40

I am in exact same predicament having tested positive on Mon morning. Following the guidance, which is to stay at home for 5 days and have made everyone aware. So far no other members of the household have contracted.

All the best with your recovery!

Sproutier · 22/12/2023 15:42

I thought the advice moved on from endless testing until negative to you're highly unlikely to pass anything on after 5+ days. I don't think the tests are as reliable as they were, so as a guest I would be more reassured by the 8 days and you feeling better (assuming you do) than by you repeatedly testing until negative.

You've said you'll tell them. The rest I think you leave entirely up to them. Give them the info, then don't pressure them either to come or cancel. Assuming you feel well enough to host, just say you're still welcome. Keep it neutral and leave them to make their own judgement.

Cloudhopping · 22/12/2023 16:44

Most people are unlikely to be contagious after 5 days. However, some continue to be for longer than that so current health advice for adults is to stay away from people for 5 days after you first tested positive or for 10 days if those people are immune compromised or the elderly.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 22/12/2023 16:48

The guidance is you're only infectious till five days after the day of your first positive test. So you should be fine.

BCBird · 22/12/2023 16:52

I personally would test if I was hosting. Even if we are all supposed to live with it, it is good to give people a choice to attend. I would not host nor attend something if one of the participants was testing positive for Covid. Some people can be very unwell with it.

PeloMom · 22/12/2023 17:09

I think you should let the guests know and let them decide. We are in similar situation- we are hosting in a few days and kiddo got sick few days ago. We let the guests know and so far everyone is comfortable coming.

Whattheheckcarer · 22/12/2023 17:12

With elderly involved, I'd let them know and choose. If you are a conflict avoidant family, you could do a whatsapp poll!!

mathanxiety · 22/12/2023 17:18

Letterbix · 22/12/2023 14:48

Ive currently got this dilemma as I'm really ill and due to host Monday and wondering whether to test for COVID or not

You should test.

StripyHorse · 22/12/2023 18:26

This was us last year, except we were visiting rather than being the hosts. DH and I were beyond the 5 days but didn't want to pass anything on to elderly relatives or pregnant (overdue) SIL and DB. Presents were dropped at the door and we chatted from the end of the driveway a la 2020.

Personally, I would be tempted to cancel, people still have time for a plan B. It's an arbitrary day, you can always have a get together in the new year.

Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 22/12/2023 18:31

I'd tell your visitors so they can decide for themselves whether they still wish to attend or not. I've had it 3 times and been floored by it each time and would have been in no state to host. But you might be less affected.

ChilledToTheBone · 22/12/2023 18:37

You'll be fine. Just let them decide. I know none of my family woukd be bothered about it

Bug8 · 22/12/2023 18:37

Am on day 11 since I tested positive, am 36 weeks pregnant and my midwife won't see me until I test negative. I read somewhere that one can test positive up to 90 days and there seems to be no accurate tests around.

anxiousnanna · 22/12/2023 18:41

i would leave the choice up to them... as long as you feel up to hosting! i recently had covid and it knocked me off my feet for a few days.

Daisies12 · 22/12/2023 18:42

You were stupid to test. Don’t know why anyone does. Cancel if you’re too ill obv but otherwise crack on.

Melodysmum12 · 22/12/2023 18:43

Why test? If you know you then feel obliged to tell people! I’d not tell them and carry on….

PropertyManager · 22/12/2023 19:10

guineverehadgreeneyes · 22/12/2023 15:07

"dettol the hell out of your home"

The chances of catching Covid from surfaces is very, very small. It is spread via airborne particles and droplets. If you are still intending to host but worried you might still be positive then wear a 3M FFP3 mask around your quests and ventilate rooms well - and give all your guests the option of not coming.

"life has to get back to normal."

There is no "normal" now - not unless you don't care whether you infect others or potentially expose them to the risk of Long Covid, which could mean years of ill health, disability and job loss. And that could be you, too.

There is a great mis understanding on how respirators / masks work, whilst FFP3 will protect the wearer from viral particles for a period if fitted correctly, they rarely offer much protection to others.

Closed cup masks tend to lift at the periphery edge to allow the exahaled air to escape (3M Aura without valve do this) whilst those with a valve simply allow the exhaled air to escape unfiltered - the wearer benefits from the filtered incoming air.

The filter media on the valveless ones gets damp quicker, dampness rapidly reduces the filters ability to do its job.

As infections can only occur if enough particles are inhaled, fresh, circulated air is by far the best way to avoid, but frankly if you are in a house for a day, eating, drinking and being merry, you pays your money and takes your chance.

CornishGem1975 · 22/12/2023 19:12

I'd crack on, but give people the choice.

PropertyManager · 22/12/2023 23:33

guineverehadgreeneyes · 22/12/2023 15:07

"dettol the hell out of your home"

The chances of catching Covid from surfaces is very, very small. It is spread via airborne particles and droplets. If you are still intending to host but worried you might still be positive then wear a 3M FFP3 mask around your quests and ventilate rooms well - and give all your guests the option of not coming.

"life has to get back to normal."

There is no "normal" now - not unless you don't care whether you infect others or potentially expose them to the risk of Long Covid, which could mean years of ill health, disability and job loss. And that could be you, too.

Worth pointing out also, there is normal, just as there always has been, most peoples lives have returned to normal, no longer is covid the over riding consideration.

Until the advent of modern medicine man lived a normal existence alongside, for example in the UK, polio, tuberculosis, cholera, typhoid, plague, these all existed in the population at some level all the time, occasionally surging, constantly taking lives and maiming others - modern medicine more or less eradicated them from our shores, but many parts of the world still endure them.

However man has always lived in an uneasy harmony with the diseases we host, those we can't treat, we just have to endure.

It is almost unthinkable that Covid will be eradicated whilst humans roam the earth, and very unlikely a very effective vaccine or treatment will be available any time soon, so we just have to accept it in the same way my great grandparents rolled the dice with TB.

Travelfan2021 · 22/12/2023 23:39

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

raspberrybeeret · 22/12/2023 23:45

The point at which you needed to alert people was when it might seriously compromise their health. If you have elderly unvaccinated, or immune compromised people then you'll have to tell them. Otherwise do you tell people don't come because you have cold / flu? Depends how ill you are