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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was this a stupid suggestion or AIBU?

35 replies

notsogood3 · 19/12/2023 23:09

DH has once again gotten another chip on his shoulder over the fact I told him that a suggestion was "ridiculous". One of DC(2)s Christmas present involves some stickers onto bits of plastic which, having read the reviews, are prone to coming off almost immediately on playing. The fix people have used is decoupage glue over the top to seal the sticker, so I told DH I'd go get some tomorrow. He asked why I don't just use superglue.

Superglue, to finish/seal stickers on a 2 year old's toy? AIBU to have called it ridiculous on the basis superglue isn't a finishing product, it's messy as hell at the best of times let alone if you're after a thin layer of it, and it's pretty nasty stuff from a chemical point of view? He's genuinely giving me the silent treatment now.

OP posts:

goodkidsmaadhouse · 19/12/2023 23:11

Well it may not have been a great suggestion but he was trying to help and it sounds like you had a go? I can’t really tell. But silent treatment is absurd. Sounds like you’re probably both BU.

Topofthemountain · 19/12/2023 23:14

I think you over reacted a little about the super glue, maybe he was just trying to save you having to go to the shops 5 days before Christmas.

The silent treatment though, he is BU for that.

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 19/12/2023 23:15

You seem to have made a big deal out of his suggestion and he seems to have made an even bigger deal out of that. You're both being ridiculous.

elizzza · 19/12/2023 23:16

You both sound unreasonable. I don’t think you needed to call his suggestion ridiculous - I don’t know what decoupage glue is or how it differs from superglue, maybe he just meant oh we already have some glue. But him now giving you the silent treatment is ridiculous.

SawX · 19/12/2023 23:17

Christmas is going to be a lot of fun in your house.

LusaBatoosa · 19/12/2023 23:18

You both sound quite difficult, tbh. So what if it was a silly suggestion? People are sometimes silly. It’s hardly a crime, there’s no need to get exercised about it.

However, the fact that he’s giving you the silent treatment is awful. And it’s all over nothing, essentially?

Snipples · 19/12/2023 23:19

I would also have called his suggestion ridiculous and agree with you, but he's clearly taken the hump.

Silent treatment is another ridiculous reaction. It's a stressful time of year OP, everyone's pushed to their limits and it can get a bit tense. Just apologize for snapping and hopefully he'll chill out a bit.

sweetpickle23 · 19/12/2023 23:20

I don’t think superglue is a ridiculous suggestion. Did you say no and explain why in a reasonable way or just call him ridiculous in a patronising way as you have done here?

He shouldn't be giving the silent treatment, but if you did the latter I’d probably be a bit miffed. Unless there’s a drip feed coming about how he’s been a useless idiot for years and this is the final straw

SoupDragon · 19/12/2023 23:21

Irrespective of what you think of his suggestion, you were rude.

Onceuponaheartache · 19/12/2023 23:22

Superglue to stick stickers on that reportedly come off too easily isn't a ridiculous idea. YABU and rude.

You owe your dh an apology.

If that's the way you treat him I am not surprised he is giving you the silent treatment

TeaKitten · 19/12/2023 23:25

Modpodge glue might work? Other than that YABoth BU. This is even pettier than the sisters thread earlier today debating who should replace the broken £10 mug. You’ve made a child together, show each other some respect.

Fourecks · 19/12/2023 23:25

Your response was unnecessarily rude. You could have just said, 'Oh, that won't work because X, y and z.'

The silent treatment is childish and also rude but as you started the rudeness, you should apologise first.

Ohtobetwentytwo · 19/12/2023 23:28

Well I dont think you would speak to a manager or employee like that so yeah, yabu if you used those words.

Original poster

notsogood3 · 19/12/2023 23:29

goodkidsmaadhouse · 19/12/2023 23:11

Well it may not have been a great suggestion but he was trying to help and it sounds like you had a go? I can’t really tell. But silent treatment is absurd. Sounds like you’re probably both BU.

I said it in a lighthearted way, but the word ridiculous slipped out as I was imagining just how difficult trying to paste a smooth, thin layer of superglue over the top of tens of small pieces of plastic and not risk sticking them to something they shouldn't be/getting things stuck in the layer of glue/not damaging them or getting glue where it shouldn't be, and the potential hazard in case DC bites it.

Given I'm the one to have thought up, bought and will wrap all of DCs gifts, and am going to the extra effort of trying to make them last longer without getting damaged, it didn't feel like a helpful suggestion when I thought about how difficult it would be.

OP posts:

Hellenika · 19/12/2023 23:34

Decoupage glue is the ridiculous suggestion because it is not suited for sealing glossy/plastic printed stickers. Decoupage is for gluing and sealing paper, fabric- things that are not glossy or plastic- and have fibres that can absorb the decoupage glue.

Hellenika · 19/12/2023 23:36

Superglue also dries a lot faster than decoupage glue. Both are pretty chemical laden.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/12/2023 23:36

What’s the present?

Stickers/bits of plastic/2 year old?

SoupDragon · 19/12/2023 23:41

notsogood3 · 19/12/2023 23:29

Show quote history

Putting a glue designed for paper over the top of plastic stickers doesn't seem like a good idea. Supergluing them on sounds better.

ActDottie · 19/12/2023 23:42

Do people really argue about these things?

IDontLoveTheWayYouLie · 19/12/2023 23:45

ActDottie · 19/12/2023 23:42

Do people really argue about these things?

Apparently so🤷🏼‍♀️

tenbob · 19/12/2023 23:49

If you are arguing about glue to the extent that you need to start a thread on MN, you have bigger problems than a difference of opinion on glue

I would suggest that tomorrow you say ‘hey it’s a bit weird that we got so argumentative about some glue. Maybe that’s indicative of us not communicating brilliantly at the moment. Shall we try and fix that in the new year before it becomes a bigger issue?’

and then maybe look at how you can improve your communication style?

Hellenika · 19/12/2023 23:49

SoupDragon · 19/12/2023 23:41

Putting a glue designed for paper over the top of plastic stickers doesn't seem like a good idea. Supergluing them on sounds better.

Show quote history

Decoupage glue can actually make the images on some stickers run too…so not only not seal them on, but can ruin them. I am picturing the stickers as the ones that come with some Lego sets. Superglue would actually be better. You can buy superglue that comes in bottles with like a nail polish brush as applicator. And again, dries 1,000x faster than decoupage glue and only need one coat.

Moveoverdarlin · 19/12/2023 23:53

If someone asked me to nip out and buy some decoupage glue the week before Christmas my first question would be ‘what in the actual fuck is decoupage glue?’ And the second would be ‘where does one buy it?’ So on that basis alone, I’m on his side.

Butchyrestingface · 20/12/2023 00:02

You're both ridiculous, so a well matched pair.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/12/2023 00:11

Superglue doesn't adhere to all plastics. You'd need to know what types were involved.

If there are reviews recommending a specific type of glue then I'd stick (sorry) with that.

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