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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think maybe he’s being insensitive or just bragging/doing it on purpose?

40 replies

Evviiee · 19/12/2023 23:03

I’ve been speaking to a guy for a while and I’ve known him years but just started talking again. He knows I’m not a single parent with a toddler and we’ve basically been discussing all sorts and he knows I’m working part time and on a low income and just about getting by.

Every time we’re messaging he keeps telling me how much money he’s spent on things or he posts photos of his expensive trainers or clothes. The latest one is that he’s told me he does all his food shopping in M & S and never goes anywhere else. I have no issue with how he spends his money and he does well for himself but I’m just not sure why he keeps bringing this up in conversation about all his money when he knows I don’t have the disposable income for the things he does. Does it sound like he’s bragging? He talks a lot about how much things he owns cost and that he collects designer things and goes out for meals in expensive places and things like that. We do get on in other ways I just don’t know if he’s trying to make me feel small or just being insensitive as he knows that this isn’t how I live?

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 19/12/2023 23:05

He could be inflating his worth.

He might be flat broke but is trying to impress you so you fall for his 'charms'.

TiredOfYourNonsense · 19/12/2023 23:06

I think people like that are insensitive, shallow, immature and boring. I couldn't be friends with anyone like it.

Original poster
Evviiee · 19/12/2023 23:07

That meant to say he knows I’m now a single parent

OP posts:
ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe · 19/12/2023 23:08

I don't think it's personal to you. It's how he validates himself. He puts his self worth on what he can buy himself. So, he thinks he's showing his "value" by the costs he's incurred that day. "Peacocking."

People like this tend to be a bit insecure, and it's rooted in deeper issues. At face value he's just a bragging dickhead, but underneath will be a Pandora's box as to why.

Personally, the drama and issues likely to come with him are not something I'd jump to get involved with.

Original poster
Evviiee · 19/12/2023 23:14

Thanks I didn’t see it from that point of view actually. It just seems to be a new thing everyday and it’s always money or possessions that get brought up

also, another thing he will do. Just for an example if I said I bought a new pair of trainers today, he will say he has 3 new pairs and turns it into a competition

OP posts:
MariaLuna · 19/12/2023 23:14

Shallow.

And not compatible to you as a single mum (I'm one).

He sounds highly insecure in himself.

Anyway, I'm utterly bored with people with that kind of lifestyle. Like I said, shallow. The shit will hit the fan one day anyway.

MrsSkylerWhite · 19/12/2023 23:16

He’s trying to impress you.

FinallyHere · 19/12/2023 23:17

he will say he has 3 new pairs

Ah, an 'eleven-erife because if you have been to ten-nerife, he will have to go one better.

Screams insecurity. Not attractive or even a decent human being.

HellonHeels · 19/12/2023 23:18

How can you stand listening to this stream of boring shite?

I'd rather watch tv or do the vacuuming than listen to him.

Bry8899 · 20/12/2023 03:12

He is what I call a Tommy two shits, because if you have had one shit he has had two.

Tell him to bore off!

cerisepanther73 · 20/12/2023 05:26

@Evviiee

I have a male friend who is exactly like this too,
who in the past has been more like a friendly acquiescence who weaves in and out my life depending on his personal circumstances whatever that maybe,

what i have found very intriguing is @ThisHouseWillBeTheDeathOfMe post ,
i just wonder 🤔 what you mean about the drama and issues that likely to come with him aspects?

what do you think about him that acctracts so much of that the dramas and issues surrounding him then?

Thanks for starting this mumset thread on here too

flowerchild2000 · 20/12/2023 05:30

Is he hinting he's rich and available?

Tanfastic · 20/12/2023 05:36

I used to know someone like this who banged on about how rich they were, their huge house, how much money their children had in the bank.....whilst in the company of people who didn't have a pot to piss in.

Not my kind of person.

Macaroni46 · 20/12/2023 09:43

He sounds insufferable and insensitive. I'd throw him back and move on.

ManateeFair · 20/12/2023 09:59

Yes, he's bragging. I suspect he thinks you'll be impressed, but I'd find that sort of behaviour incredibly off-putting and immature. It makes me cringe when people openly brag about money and so on, it's bad manners and I'd be embarrassed to be with someone who carried on like that.

AgnesX · 20/12/2023 10:01

He sounds like a bit of an arse really. Far too focused on money and lacking in self awareness.

Amybelle88 · 20/12/2023 10:03

Gives me the ick.

I hate people talking about shit like this.

People with real money don't talk about it.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 20/12/2023 10:08

So he's trying to convince you that he's a (puke) high value male?

Wonder what his living situation is like? Shared accommodation? His Mum's spare room? Living 'like flatmates' with his ex (who doesn't know she's an ex)?

zingally · 20/12/2023 10:08

This sort of "showboating" always comes with some sort of insecurity underneath.
Personally I'd be inclined to sack this one off.

Marblessolveeverything · 20/12/2023 10:11

He is either time deaf, col crises is well reported or he is very immature.

Throw him back.

Luxell934 · 20/12/2023 10:15

He does sound like he’s trying to impress you. He probably thinks poor single mum on low income would be really impressed by these designer things etc

Ultimately he’s coming across as a massive self obsessed materialistic twat and wouldn’t be the type of personal I’d want to be with or would find interesting.

Nicole1111 · 23/12/2023 06:03

I imagine he’s trying to impress you, likely because he’s a bit insecure. Whatever the cause though I’m not sure you sound compatible as he is clearly very money/possession orientated.

Presterjohn71 · 23/12/2023 06:07

He might be trying to relate to you in a ham fisted way that he can provide for you if you might by any chance be into him. We blokes can be really dense like that.

Umidontknow · 23/12/2023 06:34

Sounds like a clumsy way to try to impress you (and show he could provide). I'd point out that none of that matters to you. He will either relax and stop if it was an attempt to impress you or he will carry on in which case throw him back.

anyolddinosaur · 23/12/2023 06:35

Insecure and trying to impress you. Dont respond to it, change the subject. If he doesnt stop doing it tell him you find his focus on possessions offputting.